Featured Story:
  • Got A Tip-Off About Grandpa’s Antics
    (2,248 thumbs up)
  • February Theme Of The Month: Hazardous Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    A Smoking Computer Is Always A Bad Sign

    | Norrkoping, Sweden |

    Caller: “My bong isn’t working!”

    Me: “I’m not sure what you mean, ma’am. Could you explain what your problem is?”

    Caller: “I told you! My bong is broken!”

    Me: “Your bong, ma’am?”

    Caller: “Yes the bong that goes in to the computer for my internet!”

    Me: “Oh, do you mean your ‘dongle’?”

    Caller: “Yes! That thing!”

    Trouble Brewing, Part 2

    | Midland, TX, USA |

    (An obviously underage girl sets a 12 pack of beer on counter.)

    Me: “Hi, how’s it going? Can I see your ID?”

    Customer: “Sure!”

    Me: *checks DOB on ID.* “Uhh, ma’am? This says you’re only 17. I can’t sell you the beer.”

    Customer: “What! Let me see that!” *checks ID* “D*** it! I gave you the wrong one. Well, can I buy a pack of cigarettes?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

    Related:
    Trouble Brewing

    Hair Apparent

    | Alberta, Canada |

    (Two guys around 15 years old show up.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, can I get one ticket to [movie]?”

    Me: “Sure. I’ll just need to see a piece of ID please.”

    Customer #1: “Oh, dang. I don’t have any ID.”

    Me: “Sorry, I’m afraid I can’t sell you a ticket. It is an adult-only movie.”

    Customer #1: “Can’t you just let us in anyway?”

    Me: “Sorry, not without ID.”

    Customer #1: “Well, hey, will this work?” *pulls out student ID card to a local high school*

    Me: “It doesn’t have your birthdate on it, so no, it won’t.

    Customer #2: “Well, can we pay you to let us in?”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, we’ve got money.”

    Me: *laughs* “Sorry, no.”

    (Ten minutes later, they return with Customer #1 holding his finger above his upper lip.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, I’ve got a mustache. Now can I have one to [movie]?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer #2: “See, I told you that wouldn’t work!”

    No Clue At The Zoo

    | Utah, USA |

    (We are hosting a visiting special exhibit featuring animals endemic to Madagascar. A customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I don’t think I saw the Madagascar inside the exhibit.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Customer: “The Madagascar. Was that the furry thing in the glass cage?”

    Me: “Madagascar is a country, ma’am. It’s an island nation off the coast of Africa.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me! I’ve seen the movie!

    A Father’s Love Is Very Console-ing

    | Scotland, UK |

    Customer: “Excuse me, could you give me some advice please?”

    Me: “Sure, how can I help?”

    Customer: “I was looking to buy a Nintendo 360 for my son.”

    Customer’s Son: “Dad! It’s an Xbox360!”

    Customer, to me: “This is how much help I need. Would you please?”

    Page 1,920/2,562First...1,9181,9191,9201,9211,922...Last