Large Signs, Larger Bags, And Even Larger Egos

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Extra Stupid

(A customer with a large bag enters the store.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. You’re going to have to check your bag there up at the front counter.”

Customer: “Why?! I’ve never had to before!”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s store policy.”

Customer: “No it isn’t! You’re doing this just because I’m not white! I guess non-white people aren’t welcome here!”

Me: “You’re more than welcome here, but it’s store policy that all shoppers check their bags.”

Customer: “Show me a sign that says this is your policy!”

(I take her up front and show her the large, bright-red sign with bold, white letters that says customers are required to check their bags before shopping.)

Customer: “You put this out because you saw me coming!”

Tea Drag

| Weston, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I’m waiting to pick up my friend from her shift, when a customer comments on her.)

Customer: “There’s something strange about that lady over there.”

Me: “She’s a wonderful tea-brewer.”

Customer: “Well, there’s something strange about her appearance.”

Me: “Oh, she gets a lot of questions about that. That’s because she was originally born a man.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “As in, she’s a transsexual.”

Customer: “Oh! Does she sing?”

In A (Lone Star) Drunken State

| Texas, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “Hi there! Welcome to [store name]. Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Customer: “Yes. Do you sell wine?”

Me: “No, ma’am. We don’t sell alcohol.”

Customer: “But…but this is Texas!”

Finally Seeing The (Red) Light

| Montreal, Canada | Technology

Customer: “Hi, my laser printer has a flashing light that say ‘change toner’. What must I do to fix that?”

Me: “Well, sir, your toner cartridge is empty. You just need to replace it.”

Customer: “What is a toner?”

Me: “It’s the ink that your printer need to print on the paper.”

Customer: “What! How come it needs ink? It’s a laser printer! Doesn’t the laser directly write on the paper without ink?”

Putting The Mental In Sentimental

| West Sussex, UK | Bizarre

Me: “Hello and thank you for you calling.”

Caller: “I’m looking for a hoodie.”

Me: “Okay, what one would you like?”

Caller: “A dark one, with a hood.”

Me: ” Have you looked at our website?”

Caller: “No. You can pick one for me, and everytime I wear it I’ll think of you…”

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