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    Ah, Fathers, Part 2

    | Commack, NY, USA | Top

    (I’m working in an electronics retail store, and see a man in his late 40′s with a kid no older then 10.)

    Me: “Welcome sir, did you get…”

    (I look in his cart and see that it’s mostly filled with identical Spongebob DVDs.)

    Me: “… everything?”

    Man: “I guess so.”


    Man: “Alright, let’s go get some more.”

    (About 5 minutes later he comes back, with more Spongebob DVDs… the same ones, to be exact.)

    Man: “Alright, I think this is enough.”

    (I ring him up, and the total comes to about $550.00 USD.)

    Me: *whispering* “Uhh, sir… these are mostly the same thing.”

    Man: “Oh, don’t worry about it. I hate my life anyway.”

    Ah, Fathers

    My Parents Threatened To Do This Monthly

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    (I worked at a sandwich place. The order area had a counter. A man walks in carrying his year old child, and sets the child on the counter.)

    Man: “Do you guys take trades?”

    We Can Thank Hollywood And “Hacker” Films For This

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Bizarre

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Caller: “My car won’t start.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: “My car won’t start. It ran fine earlier but since I’ve visited your site it won’t turn over.”

    Me: “Uh… is your computer attached to your car? Draining the battery?”

    Caller: “No, the computer is in the house.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t see how visiting a web site, let alone ours, could affect the operation of your car.”

    Caller: “I thought this was tech support?”

    Me: “That’s correct. We are not car mechanics, however.”

    Caller: “Look, I hear about web sites hacking into people’s lives all the time. I see no reason why they couldn’t hack cars or anything else they wanted.”

    Me: “Are you kidding?”

    Caller: “No! My car worked fine earlier! I went to your site and now it won’t start. Why are you hacking me?!”

    Me: “We aren’t. You don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”

    Caller: “F*** YOU! GET OUT OF MY CAR, YOU–”

    Me: *click*

    Who Needs History When You Have Hollywood

    Not Quite Shuffled Off This Mortal Coil

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA |

    Customer: “My mother is dying at **** Hospital. She is prearranged through you.”

    Me: “I see her file right here, sir.”

    (I talk about our funeral home’s services.)

    Customer: “Now, could you go ahead and run her obituary tomorrow?”

    Me: *confused* “I thought she hadn’t passed away yet.”

    Customer: “She hasn’t, but I would like to go ahead and run the obituary.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we can’t do that. We need to wait until she actually dies.”

    Customer: *unhappy* “Well, if you say so.”

    (The woman did not die for another 8 days.)

    The Good, The Bad, And The Single Minded

    | New York, NY, USA |

    (A non-profit organization had asked our company to write a proposal for a web site design. I presented our proposal to a group of about 15 people, including the president of the organization.)

    Me: “When you want to add a new page to the web site, you can type it here. If you want, the system can send new content to someone in your organization for review before it goes live.”

    Client: “Can you give me an example of when we would do this?”

    Me: “Well if you want, you can have your legal people review the new text before it goes up on the site, so, you know… you don’t get sued because of–”

    President: “Sued?! Who’s suing us? I don’t want to get sued!”

    Me: “No, I’m just saying your legal people could review any changes to the site–”

    President: “This guy is telling me we could be sued! I don’t like this!”

    Me: “No, it’s so you WOULDN’T be sued. But that’s just an example. It’s just if someone wants to read the content before–”

    President: “I do not like the sound of this at all.”

    (We didn’t get the job.)

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