Running Laps Around Your Technical Knowledge

| New Brunswick, Canada | Technology

Me: “Okay, sir. Since doing that doesn’t seem to be working, can you please clear your cache and cookies again and restart your computer, please?”

Caller: “Okay.”

(I hear fumbling on his line of the phone.)

Me: “Sir, just a quick question. Are you on a desktop computer or a laptop?”

Caller: “It’s on a desk.”

Me: “Okay, next question, does the monitor fold down onto the keyboard?”

Caller: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Does the monitor and keyboard have wires going from them to a big box with lights on it?”

Caller: “That’s way too technical for me to understand.”

Me: “Can you take it around with you around your home?”

Caller: “I’ve heard of flexible computer that people can fold up and take with them everywhere.”

Me: “That’s a laptop sir. Is that what you have?”

Caller: “I still can’t login!”

Curiosity Feeds The Cat

| Victoria, Australia | Pets & Animals

Customer: “Can you help me please?”

Me: “Yes, of course, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “Well, I want to buy some food for my cat, but mine doesn’t look like the one on the packet. Can I still feed it to him?”

Me: “Yes sir, of course.”

Customer: “Wow, really? Thanks!”

Some Films Are Just Sick

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Funny Names, Movies & TV, Rude & Risque

Customer: “Wow, I haven’t been to this theater since that movie Sex in the Time of Gonorrhea!”

Me: “Um, what?”

Customer: “Oops! I mean Love! Love in the Time of Gonorrhea“.

Customer’s Friend: “I think you mean Love in the Time of Cholera.”

Customer: “Isn’t that what I said?”

How To Balls Up Simple Math

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Money

Customer: “How much to play?”

Me: “Two dollars for three balls.”

Customer: “How much for three people?”

Me: “Same price, so six dollars.”

Customer: “How about five dollars for us all to have one ball?”

Me: “Well, I’m getting the better end of that deal. So of course!”

Customer: “Thanks. The boss doesn’t have to know.”

Putting The Dumb In Random

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout

(I am checking out a customer and realize that one of the shirts he’s buying doesn’t have a barcode, so I ask a co-worker to find a similar shirt.)

Me: “Do you remember where you found this shirt?”

Customer: “It was on the clearance rack in the men’s department.”

Me: “Alright, my co-worker is looking for it, but it could take a while.”

Customer: “I don’t have time for that.”

Me: “Sorry, do you not want the shirt then?”

Customer: “I want the shirt.  I just don’t have time for her to find the dumb thing.”

Me: “Well, there’s really nothing I can do without a number.”

Customer: “Just type some random numbers in.”

Me: “That won’t work.”

Customer: “How do you know? You didn’t even try it.”

Me: “Because I know it won’t work.”

Customer: “Just try.”

(I type in twelve random numbers and press enter, then turn the screen toward him to show a bright red “not a valid number” message.)

Customer: “That’s because you didn’t type the right numbers!”

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