The Customer Is A Fool, Of This I Am Curtain

| United Kingdom | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Uncategorized

Customer: *holding a pair of curtains* “Excuse me, will these curtains fit in my window?”

Me: “I’m not sure Sir. Do you have the measurements of the window with you?”

Customer: *confused* “Measurements? I need to measure the window? How do I do that?”

(I hand the man a leaflet explaining how to measure windows correctly.)

Customer: “Oh, okay. I didn’t realise you had to take measurements. I just guessed it was one size fits all.”

Ah, Mothers, Part 6

| New Jersey, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(The child I’m working with is crying, so I go outside to talk to the mother.)

Me: “Your child seems to have some separation anxiety, ma’am. It’s against the rules, but I could let you stay and watch her work so she’ll feel better.”

Mother: “Oh, I think she’ll be fine after awhile. See, she’s been upset since we moved here from Chicago.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s difficult for a child sometimes.”

Mother: “But don’t tell her we moved, okay? We told her we were only going on a vacation. She has no idea we’re not going back.”

Related:
Ah, Mothers, Part 5
Ah, Mothers, Part 4
Ah, Mothers, Part 3
Ah, Mothers, Part 2
Ah, Mothers

Undeserved Credit

| Ohio, USA | Funny Names, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you today?”

Caller: *yelling* “I want to make sure that idiot woman I spoke with a little while ago credited my card back because I think she was stupid and didn’t know what she was doing!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be happy to check on that credit for you today. After looking at the account, it looks like it was credited back to the credit card as stated it would be.”

Caller: “Are you sure that idiot did it? She sounded like a liar to me!”

(After looking closer at the account, I see it was me who spoke to her last.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I did take care of that credit just like I said I would when you called me a little while ago.”

Caller: *silence* “Uh… I knew you would. You’re such a sweet girl!”

Pray She Doesn’t Order Steak

| Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

Customer: “Good morning! What is the special today?”

Me: “We have a type of baked chicken with a sort of lemon sauce on top.”

Customer: “Is the chicken alive?”

Me: “No, I don’t think so.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t eat deceased meat, I’m sorry.”

Me: “Ok, well here is a menu. What else interests you?”

Customer: “How about a turkey sandwich?”

Rich Has Checked Out

| Michigan, USA | Funny Names, Uncategorized

(This is an independent bank with only four loan officers.)

Me: “Here’s you receipt. Are you all set?”

Customer: “I need to speak with my loan officer for a minute.”

Me: “Okay, that’s Joe. Let me check if he’s available.”

Customer: “No! Rich is my loan officer.”

Me: “No, Joe is. He talked to you last week, remember? Tall guy with a moustache?”

Customer: “Rich has been my loan officer for eight years. I want to speak with him!”

Me: “Rich died three years ago.”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “So, I’ll get Joe?’”

Customer: “Right, Joe.”

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