November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Learn Your Acronyms ASAP

| Melbourne, Australia | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me miss, do you have those movies on circles?”

Me: “Do you mean DVDs?”

Customer: “Yes that’s it, VDVs, do you have those?”

Me: “Yes, right over here.”

(I leave the customer to browse and she comes back with a stack of DVDs to borrow).

Customer: “They’re good aren’t they, VDVs?”

Me: “Yes, they are. Very clear.”

Customer: “Yes, I love them. I can’t believe I waited so long to get a nice VD player.”

(I finish the loans and hand the customer her DVDs. As she’s leaving she sees a friend walking in).

Customer: “Oh! Cynthia! You need to come over for coffee, I finally got a VD!”

Kosher Klash

| North Miami, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Could I have a hot dog?”

Me: “Sure, would you like any toppings?”

Customer: “Cheese, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a Kosher deli and as per our religious belief, we cannot serve cheese with certain kinds of meat.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not Kosher, so I want cheese on my hot dog.”

Me: “Well, even if I was permitted to serve that, which I’m not, we do not have any cheese which would be suitable for melting onto the hot dog.”

Customer: “Well fine, then I’ll take my business elsewhere! I’m not going to stand here and be discriminated against! You Kosher people should just go back to…Kosheria or wherever it is you come from!”

Missing Out On The Spectacle

| Saco, ME, USA | Uncategorized

(I am working at the theater for a 3D movie and giving out the glasses.)

Customer: “The 3D isn’t working. I want a refund.”

Me: “Oh, well it could just be a problem with the glasses. Let me give you a new pair.”

Customer: “You mean I have to wear the glasses?”

Odd Quarterly Statement

| Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $*.**.”

Customer: *gives me a twenty* “Don’t give me any quarters!”

Me: “Alright.”

Customer: “I already have all the quarters!”

Me: “Oh, are you collecting coins?”

Customer: “No, but I already have all the quarters! If you give me any quarters, then I’ll know that I don’t have all the quarters! I’ll have to start all over!”

This Thief Is Booked

| Bloomington, IN, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, I have an overdue charge on this book. Can I get it removed?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if you kept the book past the due date, then I can’t remove the charge.”

Customer: “Then can I just keep the book?”