Pray She Doesn’t Use Hemorrhoid Cream

| Orland Park, IL, USA | Health & Body, Uncategorized

Customer: “You changed the formulation of [day cream]. You should really tell customers when you do that!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we were not made aware of that change. How did you find out?”

Customer: “Well it tastes different.”

Me: “Tastes different? You tasted the product?”

Customer: “Of course! I taste everything I put on my body!”

Fishing For Intelligence

| Ontario, Canada | Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

(At this time we are having a “fishing derby” where kids can bring fish in and we will measure them. The three biggest fish that have been caught have their measurements on a board.)

Customer: “Are these fish measured in feet?”

Me: “No, they are measured in inches.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “I’m positive considering the biggest according to the board would have to be 17 feet, and the only fish I can think of that can grow to be 17 feet long is a shark.”

Customer: “You have sharks in this lake?!”

Constant New Viruses Are Such A Strain

| Maryland, USA | Technology, Uncategorized

Customer: “Can you recommend a perfect anti-virus to use on my computer?”

Me: “At the rate viruses are coming out sir, there isn’t really any that protect your computer perfectly.”

Customer: “So they don’t really work?”

Me: “No, not really sir.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, which one doesn’t work the least?”

Sales (Baby) Boom

| Denver, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(The store allows you to pay off your store credit card bill at any of their stores. I was in the store paying off the company’s bill at one of the regular checkout stations. I had my 5 month old son with me in his carrier, which I put on the counter while the clerk was scanning the statement stub and the check. Another customer came up behind us, saw the carrier, but no items, on the counter and the clerk scanning a check.)

Customer: “Is she buying a baby?”

Clerk: *without missing a beat* “Yep, she got the last one on the shelf.”

Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 2

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Language & Words, Uncategorized

(I’m an Asian Spanish/English interpreter in charge of taking care of our Spanish speaking custumers. I approach a Mexican customer.)

Me: “Good afternoon. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Oh my god, you speak Spanish!”

Me: “Yes I do, it’s a service provided by our store for your convenience. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “But you’re Chinese!”

Me: “I’m actually Korean born and raised in Argentina, so it’s easier for me to speak in Spanish.”

Customer: “That’s not possible! Chinese people only speak Chinese!”

Me: “I assure you I’m not Chinese and cannot speak Chinese at all.”

Customer: “But…but Chinese people should speak Chinese!”

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Incheon Further Away From The Answer

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