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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Famous Ignoramus

    | Hobart, Australia | Top

    Me: “Hello, sir, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Do you have those books in that series?”

    Me: “Which series is that?”

    Customer: “You know, the one by that famous author.”

    Me: “There are lots of famous authors, sir. Do you know what one of the books was called?

    Customer: “I want the third book in the series by that famous author!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but without more information, I don’t know which book you’re after.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! How could you not know the ones I’m talking about? They’re FAMOUS!”

    Gives New Meaning To ‘Manually Eject’

    | Oregon, USA | Top

    (An couple in their 50s enter the store with a laptop.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

    Husband: “Well, my laptop won’t turn on. It just goes to a black screen.”

    Me: “Okay, sir, we can have the technicians do a diagnostic to figure out what the problem is.”

    Husband: “I also think I might have left a disc in the DVD drive.”

    Me: “Oh, no problem. I’ll show you how to manually eject the disc before you leave so you can take it home.”

    (I grab a paperclip and manually eject the disc. The disc in the drive is a porn DVD. Immediately, the husband snatches it out of the tray and stuffs it into his pocket.)

    Husband: *mumbles* “That’s not the disc I thought it was.”

    Wife: *silently fuming*

    Serious Lack Of Lumber-standing

    | Ireland | Uncategorized

    (A woman comes into my shop to buy some skirting board for her house. After a good long while of her calling home to find out the measurements of what she needs, I give her the price.)

    Customer: “How long will it take?”

    Me: “About a week and a half. It has to be made specially in our factory.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s no good. I have to collect the children from school in a hour!”

    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3

    | Charlottetown, PE, Canada | Uncategorized

    (A customer places an unopened box on the counter.)

    Customer: “Can you please check to make sure this isn’t broken?”

    Me: “Sure thing!”

    (I open box, remove Styrofoam, check product, replace in Styrofoam, close box.)

    Customer: “Excellent. I’ll take that. Actually, can I please have one that hasn’t been opened?”

    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2
    Not Thinking Outside The Box

    Doesn’t Know Their A(merican)B(orn)C(hinese)’s

    | Greenville, SC, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Chinese restaurant], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like an order for delivery.”

    Me: “Okay, if you’ll just give me your-”

    Customer: *cutting me off* “Is this a real Chinese restaurant?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I’ve just never heard any one talk like you at a Chinese restaurant. I’m just making sure Americans aren’t cooking my Chinese food!”

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