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  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    They Must Have Learned From Vader’s Wheezing Problem

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

    (An angry looking young couple storms into the convenience store.)

    Man: “You sell cigarettes?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Man: “You smoking b******!”

    Me: “I don’t smoke. I’m not the one that picks out the–”

    Woan: “That is f***ing illegal!”

    Me: “No, actually, it’s not.”

    (The woman pulls something out of her purse and writes a message on it. She slams it on the counter and she and her husband storm off. I look at it later and it is a picture of a Death Star. The message reads ‘This is coming to get you!’.)

    Out Of Tune-a With The Menu

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

    (I am working as a waitress in a sushi restaurant. A handicapped customer comes in and orders 5 rolls off of our special rolls menu. I bring the customer her food.)

    Customer: “What is this?”

    Me: “These are the rolls you ordered, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I didn’t order these. I don’t eat fish.”

    Me: “Ma’am, you specifically pointed at these rolls. The ingredients are mainly tuna and salmon. It is listed on the menu.”

    Customer: “I don’t eat fish! You are discriminating against me because I am in a wheelchair. I didn’t order this!”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is exactly what you ordered. If you don’t eat fish, you should have ordered chicken or beef teriyaki.”

    Customer: “I don’t eat fish! Bring me my rolls!”

    Me: “These are your rolls.”

    Customer: “I want to talk to your manager.”

    Manager: “Ma’am, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Your waitress brought me the wrong rolls. I want my rolls.”

    Manager: “This looks to be exactly what you ordered.”

    Customer: “I don’t eat fish!”

    Manager: “It’s listed with fish on the menu, but okay, we’ll take these back. What would like instead?”

    (The customer orders the same rolls.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, you just ordered the exact same rolls.”

    Customer: “They have fish in them?”

    Manager: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Is that because I’m handicapped?”

    Manager: “No, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I’m leaving and I’m not giving you a cent of my money. You shouldn’t falsely advertise. You should say when there will be fish!”

    Manager: *to me* “You hungry?”

    Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 6

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Technology, Uncategorized

    Caller: “I called to let you know the power is out so you may see alerts.”

    Me: “Thank you. I will notify the team. Is there anything else I can assist you with?”

    Caller: “Yes. I can’t connect to the internet on my laptop. I can’t find the wireless.”

    Me: “Sir, the power is out, so the internet is also down.”

    Customer: “Yes, but my laptop still has batteries.”

    Related:
    Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 5
    Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 4
    Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 3
    Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 2
    Wireless Clueless & Hopeless

    Acting Juvie-nile

    Culver City, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

    (While stocking the shelves I overhear a young boy from a few aisles over. He sounds very distressed.)

    Boy: “What?! Are you freaking kidding me? Nuh-uh! No way!”

    (The kid sounded like he was really in trouble, so my co-worker and I go to investigate. He is sitting in front of the back-to-school section with his mother.)

    Boy: “I have to go back to school!? What do you mean I have to go back?! I just got out!”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Food & Drink, Money, Uncategorized

    (Three women in their early twenties come in. I ring up the first two, but the third woman’s credit card is denied.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but your card had been denied.”

    Customer: “No, that cant be! There’s no way! Try it again!”

    (I swipe the card again, and it once more is denied.)

    Me: “It still came up as declined. Do you have another card I could try?”

    Customer: “No! This is stupid!”

    (One of her friends lend her cash to pay for her meal. As they fill their drinks at the pop machine I overhear her talking.)

    Customer: “That is so weird! My card was denied last week. Shouldn’t it be un-denied by now?”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

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