This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6

| Orlando, FL, USA | Money, Uncategorized

Customer: “Wait, that’s only supposed to be twenty dollars cheaper.”

Me: “Yes sir, that’s after the mail-in rebate. You have to send in the paperwork and proof of purchase.”

Customer: “Well why don’t you give me the discount now and send in the rebate yourself?”

Me: “No, that’s not how this works. You are responsible for sending in the rebate yourself.”

Customer: “You mean you’re making me responsible for my own money?”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
This Is Why We’re In A Recession

Seeing The Sun In A Whole New Light

| Narvik, Norway | Geography, Math & Science, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

(I work in a store, where a lot of tourists come through. A German motorcyclist couple are on their way up to the North Cape.)

Customer: “Oh, your country is so beautiful! We’re going all the way up to the North Cape on our motorcycle.”

Me: “Wow, how fun! Hope you get lucky with the weather then.”

Customer: “Thank you dear. Yes, we have always wanted to see the midnight sun. We have saved up for this trip for years.”

Me: “Well, then I really hope the weather gods are on your side. Would be a shame if it were all cloudy and grey when you get there.”

Customer: “Oh, they say the midnight sun is so bright, it’ll shine through just about anything when it comes up! Can’t wait!”

Me: “When it comes up? The sun is up all the time now.”

Customer: “What? We’re here to see the midnight sun! You know, the one that shines at midnight?!”

Me: “Ma’am, the midnight sun is the sun. The only sun. Only difference is that it’s so high here up north that it never sets. It just circles around a little. Therefore we can see it at night.”

Customer: “What!” *she turns to her husband and rants in German* “Did you hear that? We’ve been ripped off! It’s the same sun as we have at home! And to think we came to this s*** expensive country, drove all the way, and it’s the same Sun!?”

Some Recipes Contain No Margarine For Error

| Melbourne, Australia | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, could you point me in the direction of the butter?”

Me: “Of course, its just over here.”

Customer: “Do you have these in liquid form? Like watery?”

Me: “I’m not sure what you mean, did you want cream?”

Customer: “No, no, like liquid butter?”

(At this point I look at the customers shopping list, its a recipe list for pancakes and it clearly says ‘melted butter’.)

Me: “You want to buy melted butter? You know you can just make that right?”

Customer: “Oh really? You actually make it yourself? How do you do that?”

Me: “You just put regular butter in a hot pan and it melts.”

Customer: “Wow! That’s fantastic! Thank you so much!”

No Paws For Thought

| Canada | Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, [Public Transport], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, do you allow cats on your buses?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, but only service animals are allowed on the bus.”

Caller: “But she’s a very quiet cat! The airline let me take her!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but those are the rules. We can’t allow animals on board.”

(We go back and forth like this for a few minutes.)

Caller: *desperately* “What if I say she’s a seeing-eye cat? I could put a little collar on her saying she’s a seeing-eye cat.”

Me: “I don’t think that’s going to work.”

Caller: “What if I dress her like a dog?”

Me: “They’re not going to buy that.”

Caller: “Why not?!”

(The conversation continues in a similar fashion.)

Caller: “You’re not allowed to hang up on me, are you?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Caller: “I feel sorry for you.”

Time Waits For Slow Man

| Austin, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

(A customer walks right before closing at which point I ask him if there’s anything I can help him find. When he says there isn’t, I politely let him know the store will be closing at in about 8 minutes. After spending 25 minutes in a dressing room, he puts his clothes on the counter and starts to look at the watches.)

Customer: “I left my glasses at home. What’s this watch say on the face?”

Me: “It says we closed twenty minutes ago and I’m ready to leave.”

Customer: “Oh.”

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