Congratulations to last week’s Facebook Alternative Title contest winner, Abigail Adams!
How would you like a chance to win a FREE copy of the Not Always Right Book this week? Just follow the steps below:
Step 1: Think of an alternative title to any story on the Not Always Right website.
Step 2: Leave a comment on this Facebook thread with the current title of the story and your ‘new and improved’ alternative title below.
The contest will run every week, from Sunday to Sunday, midnight Eastern Standard Time.
(A customer is making a purchase on credit card.)
Me: “Alright, could I just check the signature on your card?”
Customer: “I didn’t sign it.”
Me: “I’ll need to see some ID then, please. And I would recommend signing it as soon as possible so that if you lose it, no one else will be able to use it.”
Customer: “Oh, but that’s what I did last time. Someone just copied my signature.”
Me: “Sorry to hear that. Still, I would sign it or write “Photo ID only” on it or something, or if you lose it someone will just put their own signature on the back.”
Customer: “No…if there’s nothing there, there’s nothing for them to copy!”
Caller: “Hello, may I speak to Mr. Ralph ******?”
Me: “I’m sorry, he’s dead.”
Caller: “Oh, I’m very sorry for your loss.”
Me: “It’s okay. It’s been 20 years. I think we’re over it.”
(While standing in line as a customer, I notice a father and his two children in front of me. The son, about age 8, is sporting a
Mohawk about as tall is he is. He looks positively adorable and when he turns and smiles at me, I return the smile.)
Boy: *tugging on his fathers coat* “Daddy, don’t flash all that money in your wallet! That b**** will take it! You always say how b****es are after your money!”
(The father laughs and agrees until he notices that his son’s free hand is pointing directly at me. The daughter, about age 12, slaps him on the back of the head.)
Daughter: “Shut up, dumb ***! That b**** don’t want dad’s money!”
(The father starts to feel uncomfortable with so many people staring. Not wanting to reprimand their behavior but still wanting to make some parental effort, he starts lecturing his son about how his shoes are dirty. Another customer behind me comes to my rescue.)
Another customer: “If I were you, I’d be more worried about the dirt coming out of the other end of them!”
(The father falls silent, the children stop calling me a b****, and I get one of my blouses for free.)
(Note: I quit working at this store for 7 months and then returned.)
Customer: “Oh so how are things? I haven’t seen you for a while.”
Me: “Oh, good. Yeah, I actually haven’t worked here for the last 7 months. This is my first day back.”
Customer: “Oh, I just thought you were on lunch break or something.”