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    Fowl Behavior, Part 2

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada |

    (At the deli where I work, every couple hours I cook up between 12 and 20 whole chickens. They’re kept in the hot holding cabinet for customers to grab.)

    Customer: “I need ten.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “These whole chickens. I need ten of them.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, that’s all we have, because we’re closing soon.”

    Customer: *rolls her eyes and takes absolutely everything left out of the holding cabinet*

    (Another customer approaches me soon afterward.)

    Another customer: “Excuse me, that lady just grabbed a chicken out of my hands, claiming it was hers. Will there be any more?”

    (Yes, that’s right. The first lady was going around taking chickens from other customers. Unbelievable.)

    Related:
    Fowl Behavior

    The Art Of Persuasion

    | New Hampshire, USA |

    (This is on one of the busiest days we’ve ever had. We literally had to stop letting people into the park)

    Guest: “Why can’t I go into the park?! I drove here from Cape Cod!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the general manager said we’re not allowed to let anyone else in. We’re at capacity.”

    Guest: “Why can’t I go in now? There are a ton of people leaving!”

    Me: “There are a few things, sir. The general manager said we can’t allow anyone else in, we have weather coming which might halt operations, and even if we let you in, you honestly wouldn’t have fun. There are a ton of people in there.”

    Guest: “I DROVE HERE FROM CAPE COD! YOU HAVE TO LET ME AND MY FAMILY IN!”

    Me: “Sir, your options are you can stay here and complain to me about not being let in, or I can let you in, and you can pay $35 to complain to me that there are too many people inside the park. How’s that?”

    Guest: “On second thought, I’ll just go to the beach.”

    Haphazardly Placed Vowels Does Not A Language Make

    | Branson, MO, USA |

    (I’m a customer and see an employee is waiting on another customer. The employee speaks perfect English and actually looks Hawaiian.)

    Customer: “EL POLO ICE-CREAMO!”

    Employee: Umm… yeah?”

    Customer: “I want some choco-lato ice-creamo. GRASSIOS!”

    Employee: “I speak English fine. What size do you want?”

    Customer: “Oh, you are doing so good. Good job, boy. Umm… I want a GRAND-AY!”

    Let’s All Just Randomly Grab Crap

    | Atlanta, GA, USA |

    (I’m ringing up a customer’s items.)

    Customer: “That’s wrong. That’s on sale.”

    Me: “Well, the system is usually correct, and I don’t believe it is, but I can have someone check.”

    (After the area is checked, we find that I am correct.)

    Me: “The sign back there says the clearance EXCLUDES your item.”

    Customer: “No, it doesn’t.”

    Me: “Ma’am I just had an associate check for you to ensure that the item is not on sale.”

    Customer: “Yes it is! You are just a dumb cashier! Where is your supervisor?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am the supervisor. I’m sorry, but the sign clearly says in large red letters that your item is excluded from the sale.”

    Customer: “Well, I shouldnt have to pay attention! I saw clearance so I just grabbed something. I should get it cheaper because of it!”

    Hey G.W., Crazy Lady On Line 1

    | Washington, DC, USA |

    (I used to work in a building on 17th and Pennsylvania Ave, which is a block away from the White House.)

    Me: “Good morning, *** & ***.”

    Lady: “Uh, hi… is this office in DC?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, this is the DC office. How may I direct your call?”

    Lady: “Is your building by the White House?”

    Me: “Yes, it is…?”

    Lady: “Can you run over there and tell them to pick up the phone? I’ve been calling all day but I can’t get ahold of the President!”

    Me: *click*

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