October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

The Art Of Browsing Without A Browser

| United Kingdom | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, you’re through to [Broadband Company]. How can I help?”

Customer: “I’m a new customer and I’d like some help with setting up my router. I can’t get the broadband to work.”

Me: “Of course I can help you. If you want to start by turning your computer on, we’ll see what we can do.”

Customer: “What computer?”

Me: “Sir, you need a computer to access the internet with this router.”

Customer: “No one told me that.”

Me: “Sir, how do you expect to access the internet without a computer?”

Customer: “So you’re saying I have to buy a computer? That’s another expense!” *hangs up*

It’s Not Just The Message That Never Dies

| New Jersey, USA | Uncategorized

(I give tours for prospective students and their families at my school. In the school chapel, there is a plaque commemorating when Martin Luther King, Jr., gave a speech there in the 1950s.)

Me: “The chapel has been host to a number of famous speakers, including Martin Luther King, Jr., as you can see here.”

Parent: “Oh, was that before or after he was assassinated?”

Me: “Uh…”

Daughter: “Mom!”

In(tentional) Sickness And In Health

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Top

(We respond to an unconscious diabetic. While my partner is treating the patient, I am asking the wife some questions.)

Me: “So is your husband on any medications?”

(She lists the medications her husband is on, including insulin.)

Me: “And has he been compliant with those medications lately?”

Wife: “Nope.”

Me: “Do you know why not?”

Wife: “Well we had a big fight last week, so I hid all his meds. He hasn’t found them yet.”

Don’t Pin Your Hopes On This One

| Murfreesboro, TN, USA | Uncategorized

(I am scanning a customer’s items and the screen prompts me to ask for her phone number.)

Me: “Can I get your phone number please?”

Customer: “1-2-3-4.”

Me: *confused*

Customer: “Oh, I thought you asked for my pin number.”

Remote Possibilities Are A Waste Of Time

| PEI, Canada | Top

Customer: “My cable box is broken.”

Me: “What seems to be the issue?”

Customer: “Roughly every 1 minute the channel goes up. I tried turning it off and on, I tried unplugging it, I made sure no one was sitting on the remote, nothing works, you guys gave me a broken box!”

Me: “What does it currently show on the front of the box sir?”

Customer: “Channel 932.”

Me: “And what time is it sir?”

Customer: “9:32. Oh.” *hangs up*

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