Conjured Coffee Conjugations

| Wexford, Ireland | Uncategorized

Me: “Excuse me, madam. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Thanks, I’ll have a ‘MochaChinaFrappaLatte’ please.”

Me: “Sorry, madam, but those are each separate coffees. Mocha, cappuccino, frappe and a latte?”

Customer: “Oh. I just heard it on TV and I thought it sounded cool…”

Identity TV Determined

| Wasaga Beach, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “Are you on the show [T.V. show]?”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “You know the show [T.V. show]? Are you on it? Cause you really look like a character on it.”

Me: “No, I am sorry I am not.”

Customer: “Are you lying to me? I am pretty sure you are that girl from [T.V. show]!”

Me: “No, I work at [coffee shop], not on a television show.”

(This went on until my manager had to step in.)

Manager: *sarcastically* “Yes she is on [T.V. show], she just likes to fly hundreds of kilometers back to Wasaga to work at [coffee shop] because she needs extra money.”

Customer: “I knew it!”

(Later on, she brought her boyfriend back and tried to convince me to give her an autograph.)

It’s Late When It’s Son-Down

| Spokane, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(A woman and her pre-teen son approach the counter.)

Son: “I want both of these movies!”

Mother: “We will have to see. I don’t have a lot of cash and we might have late fees.”

Son: “God! Mom you are so dumb! I can’t believe you forgot to take back the d*** movies!”

Me, to mother: “If your late fees are too much, we will also accept your first born in payment.”

Concentrate Harder

| CT, USA | Uncategorized

(I am at a sample station of apple cider.)

Customer: “Oh, apple cider!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Would you like to try some?”

(At this point the customer picks up the bottle.)

Customer: “Oh, it’s not from concentrate. That means I can try some! I’m allergic to apples, you know.”

Misunderstood Comic Strip

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Uncategorized

(Two middle aged women approach me.)

Customer 1: “Excuse me? Can you help me find something?”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. What are you looking for? Gift ideas maybe?”

Customer 1: “Yes exactly, I need a present that will interest a 14 year old boy.”

Customer 2: *interjecting* “But not porn!”

Me: “I think I can accommodate those taxing conditions.”

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