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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Gives New Meaning To ‘Manually Eject’

    | Oregon, USA | Top

    (An couple in their 50s enter the store with a laptop.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

    Husband: “Well, my laptop won’t turn on. It just goes to a black screen.”

    Me: “Okay, sir, we can have the technicians do a diagnostic to figure out what the problem is.”

    Husband: “I also think I might have left a disc in the DVD drive.”

    Me: “Oh, no problem. I’ll show you how to manually eject the disc before you leave so you can take it home.”

    (I grab a paperclip and manually eject the disc. The disc in the drive is a porn DVD. Immediately, the husband snatches it out of the tray and stuffs it into his pocket.)

    Husband: *mumbles* “That’s not the disc I thought it was.”

    Wife: *silently fuming*

    Serious Lack Of Lumber-standing

    | Ireland | Uncategorized

    (A woman comes into my shop to buy some skirting board for her house. After a good long while of her calling home to find out the measurements of what she needs, I give her the price.)

    Customer: “How long will it take?”

    Me: “About a week and a half. It has to be made specially in our factory.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s no good. I have to collect the children from school in a hour!”

    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3

    | Charlottetown, PE, Canada | Uncategorized

    (A customer places an unopened box on the counter.)

    Customer: “Can you please check to make sure this isn’t broken?”

    Me: “Sure thing!”

    (I open box, remove Styrofoam, check product, replace in Styrofoam, close box.)

    Customer: “Excellent. I’ll take that. Actually, can I please have one that hasn’t been opened?”

    Related:
    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2
    Not Thinking Outside The Box

    Doesn’t Know Their A(merican)B(orn)C(hinese)’s

    | Greenville, SC, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Chinese restaurant], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like an order for delivery.”

    Me: “Okay, if you’ll just give me your-”

    Customer: *cutting me off* “Is this a real Chinese restaurant?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I’ve just never heard any one talk like you at a Chinese restaurant. I’m just making sure Americans aren’t cooking my Chinese food!”

    Less Dress Codes, More Codes Of Conduct

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Uncategorized

    (I’m wearing a shirt and khaki pants while shopping at a certain discount store; I am not an employee. Another customer approaches me. )

    Customer: “Do you have any more of these in back?”

    Me: “Sorry, I don’t work here.”

    (I push my cart down the next aisle and continue my shopping.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! Don’t ignore a customer! That is rude!”

    Me: “I don’t work here. If you pick up the phone at the end of the aisle, they will send someone over to help you.”

    (I walk away and continue shopping.)

    Customer: “I AM GOING TO MAKE SURE YOU GET FIRED FOR BEING SO RUDE! IN THIS ECONOMY GOOD LUCK FINDING ANOTHER JOB!”

    Me: “I don’t work here. I can’t help you!”

    Customer: “How rude!”

    (Later on, I am pushing my cart of purchases out of the store. I see the customer talking to a manager.)

    Customer: “HIM!” *points at me* “He is the jerk who ignored me in your sporting goods department! You should be ashamed of how rude he is to customers. I won’t shop here if that is the kind of employee you hire.”

    Manager: “Ma’am, that man is not one of my employees.”

    Customer: “Then you need to make sure customers don’t come to the store dressed like employees!”

    (The woman storms off, but the manager hands me a coupon for a free coffee from the store snack bar for my trouble.)

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