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  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
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    Gotta Love Them Regulars

    , | Cottage Grove, MN, USA |

    (This very friendly woman come in 3-4 days a week, and I am usually the one who winds up taking her money at the window.)

    Me: ¬†”Hi, it’ll be two dollars.”

    Customer: ¬†”Oh, you got your braces off! They look so nice!”

    Me: ¬†”Oh… thank you!”

    Customer: ¬†”And you got your hair cut!”

    Me: ¬†”Yes, I did!”

    Customer: ¬†”… I come here a little too often, don’t I?”

    Related:
    Why (Good) Regulars Really Rock

    Customer of the Week: It’s Hard to Keep Track

    | Northern Ireland, UK | Old Comics

    Customer Of The Week: It’s Hard to Keep Track
    Created by our friends at Quitting Time

    Original Story:
    The Inadvertent Thief

    Team Building Retreat With The Reindeer

    | Merced, CA, USA |

    Me: “Good evening, [hotel]. This is Patrice. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I’d like to check your availability for December 24th to the 26th.”

    Me: “We do have rooms available for those dates.”

    Caller: “I work for the government, and I’m wondering if you have the government discount?”

    Me: “Only government employees on official government business are eligible for our government rates.”

    Caller: “I’m on official business, then!”

    Me: “… You’re trying to book a room for Christmas.”

    Caller: *hangs up*

    Pantzilla Gets Schooled

    , | Columbus, OH, USA |

    (At the clothing store where I work, I’ve spent hours folding and sizing jeans into a wall display. A customer comes up starts to look for her size.)

    Me: “Hi there! How are you today? My name is ***. Can I help you find the size or style of jeans you are looking for today?”

    Customer: “No, I’m just looking… thanks.”

    Me: “Alright. Well, you just let me know if you need any help.”

    (As I go back to folding jeans, she pulls out a pile I’ve already fixed, proceeds to destroy it and shoves it back in the wall.)

    Me: “Are you sure I can’t help you find what you are looking for?”

    Customer: “Nah, I’m alright.”

    (She destroys pile number #2.)

    Me: *wincing* “I might be able to help you find the size you are looking for a little faster…”

    Customer: “It’s okay, I’m fine.”

    (She destroys pile number #3.)

    Me: “Ma’am, please let me help you since I know where everything is.”

    Customer: “I said I was okay! Don’t you people have better things to do than bug your shoppers?! I don’t need your help!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m going to help you anyway. I’ve spent nearly six hours refolding and fixing this wall because customers like you come in and ruin it with no regard to the people who have to clean up your mess. Since we size things with the smallest size at the top and the largest size at the bottom, I suggest that you look somewhere near the bottom pile for your jeans!”

    Customer: *jaw drops* “ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?!”

    Me: “No, I’m implying it.”

    Customer: “WELL I NEVER!” *storms out*

    (I got written up, but it was totally worth it!)

    She Who Wears The Pants

    | Dover, DE, USA |

    Customer: “… and I’d like a pack of cigarettes.”

    Customer’s wife: “No, he doesn’t.”

    Customer: “Yes, I do.”

    Customer’s wife: “You don’t need them.”

    Customer: “Yes, I do.”

    Customer’s wife: “No, you don’t.”

    Me: “No offense, sir, but she’s scarier than you are.”

    Customer’s wife: “D*** straight!”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

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