Lack Of Grey Matter

| Iceland | Uncategorized

(Two teenage customers ask if I can find a film for a school project.)

Customer #1: “Hi, do you have Casablanca?”

Me: “Sure.” *I fetch the film*

Customer #1: “Oh, it’s black and white?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer #2: “That’s no good! We don’t have a black and white TV, only color!”

Belaboring The Points

| Springfield, MA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling ***, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, yes. I just got back from surgery and I can’t remember my email password.”

Me: “Sure, I’ll be glad to help. Let me pull up your account and we can reset your password.”

(We proceed with a very routine process of setting a new email password. About halfway through, she bursts out laughing.)

Customer: “I’m sorry. My coworkers just handed me a card congratulating me on the new twins. I guess you can tell what kind of surgery I had, huh?”

Me: “I gu–”

Customer: “I’ve got BOOBS!”

Kill The Bill, Double The Trouble

, | Ohio, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we cannot accept $50 bills. It’s against our security policy.”

Customer: “When the h*** did this happen?”

Me: “Two years ago, ma’am.”

Customer: “I was in here last week and paid with a $100 bill.”

Me: “Ma’am, our register wouldn’t allow us to enter $100 bills. Do you happen to have a credit card?”

Customer: “What’s your name! I want to speak with your manager!”

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “Your staff is lying by telling me he cannot accept a $50 bill. I was in here last week and paid with a $100 bill!”

Manager: “I was on register all last week, ma’am, and I would have told you the same thing. It’s against our policy to accept bills $50 or larger.”

Customer: “FINE!” *rips the bill in half* “HOW ABOUT NOW?”

Related:
Sometimes, Even Yoda Isn’t Enough

Senseless Sensibility

| Everett, WA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you have the movie Sense and Sensibility?”

Me: “Yes we do, did you want the British or the American version?”

Customer: “I don’t know which one it was, but it has two parts.”

Me: “I think that would be the British version.”

(I take her to the section and show her the movie.)

Customer: “Yes, that’s it! I’ll take it!”

Me: “Great! Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Customer: “Does this movie use subtitles?”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s British.”

Customer: “Well I don’t know! I’m not an English major!”

How About Ten To The Durrrrr

| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, welcome to *** Bank. What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I want to withdraw ten hundred dollars.”

Me: “Ten hundred? Is that one thousand?”

Customer: “Don’t say that so loud! I don’t want people to think I’m getting one thousand. That’s why I said ten hundred!”

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