Obviously Not A People Person

| New York City, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(We have booths at which we can only seat groups of 3 or more. There is a couple with their young child sitting in one. A couple came in and I went to seat them.)

Me: “Hi, are you here to eat, or are you just having some drinks?”

Customer: “Eating, can we take a booth?”

Me: “Sorry, but we need to save them for groups of three or more.”

Customer: “What about them?” *motions at the couple with their child*

Me: “They have 3 people sitting there.”

Customer: “What? Babies aren’t people!”

In(Console)able

| Connecticut, USA | Technology

(A young little girl walks up to the one of the cashiers.)

Girl: “Do you have any ?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sweetie. We’re all out right now.”

Girl: “Can you go in the back and make one?”

Me: “We can’t make [consoles]. We get shipped the [consoles] to sell.”

(With a sullen look, the little girl walks away and comes back soon after with her mother.)

Mother: “You don’t have any [consoles] currently?”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, we do not.”

Mother: “Well, can you go in the back and make one?”

Eva-nonsense

| Bellevue, WA, USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

(I approach a teenage girl who seems to be looking for something.)

Customer: “Do you have the Evanescence CD?”

Me: “That would be over here. It looks like the only one we have left right now is a Australian import version, if that is okay with you?”

Customer: “What does that mean? Is she singing in Australian or something?”

Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 3

| Knoxville, TN, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

Customer: *places foil wrapped ham on counter* “I ordered a spiral sliced ham and you gave me a turkey!”

Me: “Okay, let me just see the turkey.” *I open the foil and see that it is definitely a ham* “Ma’am, this is a ham.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. That is a turkey! I think I know what ham looks like.”

Me: “Can you see the bone and the pinkish color? The turkey is boneless and white.”

Customer: “I know what a ham looks like and that is a turkey!”

Me: “I assure you it’s a ham. Would you like to sample it?”

(She samples the ham and looks flustered.)

Customer: “Oh just give me whatever the h*** that thing is!”

Related:
Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 2
Not To La-Boar The Point

Some Computer Owners Just Can’t Hack It, Part 2

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Technology

(The customer is worried that her internet account is being hacked because she doesn’t have the proper login to see her billing information.)

Caller: “You need to help me!”

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Caller: “My account is being hacked!”

Me: “How do you know that you’re being hacked?”

Caller: “I can’t see my billing information.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. You may not have the administrative logins. Let me get them for you.”

(I pull up the woman’s account.)

Me: “Your username is *** and your password is ***. Please try to log in and let me know if you can see your billing information.”

Caller: “You’re the hacker!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

Caller: “How could you know my information if you aren’t the hacker! That is my private information that only I can have access to and you can see it!”

Me: “I’m sorry that you feel that way, but I am not a hacker. I am here to help you.”

Caller: “I will report you to the FBI! Now I need to change my password. How do I do that?”

Me: “Would you like me to do that for you?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Related:
Some Computer Owners Just Can’t Hack It

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