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    Twilight Vs Holy Light

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV, Religion, Top

    (A young woman, about 20 years old, comes up to the counter holding a copy of The Bible.)

    Me: “Hi, did you find everything you needed today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, hey, can you tell me what this is about?”

    Me: “The Bible?”

    Customer: “Yeah, what’s it about?”

    Me: “The Bible has two parts, the Old Testament which is scriptures and the New Testament, which contains the story of Jesus’ life and works as told through the gospels, written by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.”

    Customer: “Huh. Is it any good?”

    Me: “It’s pretty popular.”

    Customer: “Nah, I’ll just get this one instead.” *puts a copy of Twilight on the counter*

    Damage Your Self E-Steam

    | New South Wales, Australia | At The Checkout, Math & Science

    (A customer brings in a steamer set.)

    Customer: “This doesn’t work. It’s faulty.”

    Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem with the item?”

    Customer: “It doesn’t steam the food.”

    Me: “Ok, I’m just going to have to test it, to confirm that it’s faulty.” *I ask my co-worker next to me* “How much water do I put in it?”

    Customer: “You put water in it?”

    Military In-Action

    | USA | Books & Reading

    (I work in the library at one of the Military Academies. As such, 90% of our students are military members, all in uniform. A student walks in immediately following me as I unlock the doors.)

    Me: “We don’t open until 7:30.”

    Student: “But I need to print something out.”

    Me: “The printers aren’t on yet, and have no paper in them. Come back at 7:30.”

    Student: “Not even for your country!?”

    Me: “No…”

    Not Getting The Picture

    | Melbourne, Australia | Technology

    (I work in the IT department, on part of the university’s website.)

    Customer: “Can you help me? I tried to print out this webpage, and none of the images showed up!”

    Me: “Sounds like it might be a problem with your printer.”

    Customer: “Is it because the images are stuck inside the internet and the printer can’t get them out?”

    Being The President Sucks

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Books & Reading, History, Politics

    Customer: “Do you have a copy of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

    Me: “I’m not sure, let me check.” *I check our bestsellers section* “No sir, not at this time.”

    Customer: “But did you look back in the history section?”

    Me: “For Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “No, I did not.”

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