July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Not So Smart-Phone, Part 2

| IN, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “How do I make a call from this touch-screen phone? I can’t figure it out.”

Me: “Are you calling from the device?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Repeat what you did, but with a different number.”

Related:
Not So Smart-Phone

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7

| Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “Hi, I saw a car online and wanted some info on it.”

Me: “Sure, let me tell you all about it. Do you have a pen?”

Caller: “Yeah, 4351.”

Me: “What’s that?”

Caller: “My PIN.”

Me: “To your bank account?!”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
This Is Why We’re In A Recession

Margarinelly Insane

| Surrey, UK | Uncategorized

Old Lady: *shouting randomly* “Marge? Marge?”

Me: “Are you OK?”

Old Lady: *worriedly* “I can’t find Marge!”

Me: “OK, I’ll see if I can find someone to help you.”

Old Lady: “Please don’t go, you must help me find Marge!”

Me: “OK, what does she look like?”

Old Lady: “Who?”

Me: “Your friend Marge?”

Old Lady: “I’m looking for margarine, it should be next to the butter!”

Cutting Remarks

| Greenville, SC, USA | Uncategorized

Student: “I need to write a five-paragraph essay for my English class. Can you help me find some books?”

Me: “Okay, what’s your topic?”

Student: “I thought I’d write it about Jesus.”

Me: “Maybe you could narrow it down? Why don’t you choose a Bible verse that inspires you and write about that?”

Student: “Thanks! You’re so sweet! If I cut you, you’d bleed syrup.”

Me: “I…thank you?”

The Santa Photo Clause

| Oxford Valley, PA, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a set where kids can get their picture taken with Santa. Among other things, we sell a CD with one picture on it.)

Customer: “What’s this I hear about a CD?”

Me: “Well, you can get a CD with one picture on it. You also get the rights to the picture so you can do anything you want with it after that!”

Customer: “But I have two kids! Why can’t they go together for the picture?”

Me: “Sir, I’m not sure I follow.”

Customer: “I have two kids. I want them both in the picture!”

(The customer is holding up the line, and a woman behind him speaks up.)

Other customer: *joking* “Oh, didn’t they tell you? You have to pay using one child. Pick the one you like the best, and they’ll be in the picture. They keep the other kid.”

Customer: *horrified* “Oh my God! You’re all animals!” *hurriedly leaves*

Page 1,899/2,710First...1,8971,8981,8991,9001,901...Last