October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Social (Network) Security

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Your total is [total].”

Customer: *hands me a credit card*

Me: “Thanks, I just need to see a photo ID with this.”

Customer: “I don’t have one.”

Me: “Well, do you have a school, work, or military ID? Pretty much any way to match your name and face will work.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have…wait!”

(The customer digs in her purse and pulls out a phone.)

Customer: “I have a Facebook, will that work?”

(The customer pulls up her account and shows it to the clerk.)

Me: “Well I guess for today, but next time we’ll need a physical ID.”

(The customer finishes paying and the next customer steps up.)

Customer 2: “Now just to let you know I don’t have my ID either, but I do have a MySpace.”

Reality Bites, And So Do Customers

| Delaware, OH, USA | Top, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a historical site of the civil war, dressing and acting as if we were still in that time period)

Tourist: “Is that fire real?”

Me: “Yes.”

Tourist: “Is the water you’re drinking real?”

Me: “Yes.”

Tourist: “Are your clothes real?”

Me: “Yes.”

Tourist: “Are you real?”

Me: “Yes.”

Tourist: “This place isn’t very interesting.”

Stupid Is Just The Tip Of The Iceberg

| Connecticut, USA | Uncategorized

(I work as an artifacts specialist at an exhibit featuring artifacts from the Titanic wreck. We also have a large “iceberg” to show people how cold the water was the night the ship sank.)

Customer: “So is this the actual iceberg that sank the Titanic?”

Me: “No, it’s just a frosted piece of plastic to show how cold the water was.”

Customer: “So where in this place is the actual iceberg that sunk the Titanic?”

Magic Ink

| France | Uncategorized

(A client comes for her journalist portfolio. She shows me a picture of an architect in front of his building model, showing his back to the camera.)

Customer: “So, you see, I’d like you to flip this picture.”

Me: “Okay, that’s very simple.”

Customer: “Great ! This will be awesome. I want him to face the camera.”

Me: “If I flip the picture, it will be all the same, but the guy will be on the left instead of the right, that’s it.”

Customer: “You can’t make him face us? You call yourself a professional?”

This Teacher Will Keep You On Your Toes

| New York, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m 19, and look fairly younger than that. I teach at a dance studio. I’m standing at the receptionist’s desk when a woman walks in.)

Customer: “Hi, I missed registration yesterday and I need to register my daughter for a beginning ballet class.”

Coworker: “Okay, you actually lucked out, we have a space open in [other co-worker]’s class.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I really want her in [my name]’s class…can you arrange that?”

Coworker: “Well, okay let me…”

Customer: “Hang on.” *turns to me* “Sweetie, what are you doing here? It’s incredibly rude to eavesdrop.”

Me: “Well, I–”

Customer: “Where are your parents? And why didn’t they teach you any manners? You think you can just stand here, eating up this lady’s time. I have a job! I have better things to do than watch you listen to me!”

Me: “Hi, I’m actually [my name]. You wanted to get into my class?”

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