Models Are Always Catty

| Washington, D.C., USA | Pets & Animals, Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

(A couple is holding at a kitten and waiting in line at a closed register.)

Me: “Hi, would you like to buy this cat?”

Customer: “I was wondering if I could get this in a different color?”

Me: “Well, we have many different colors of kittens. If you’ll come with me I can show you some others we have.”

Customer: “Well, I mean I want this model kitten, but in a different color.”

Me: “Well, kittens don’t really work that way. They have all different fur patterns and colors.”

Customer: “Yes. I want this fur pattern but a different color!”

Customer’s husband: “Sweetie, I think she’s trying to say that the kittens will look different no matter what.”

Customer: “If she wanted to sell me something, she would look for the right model kitten! This is terrible service! How dare they! Honey, we’re going to a different pet store!”

The Price Of Laziness

| Norway | Technology, Uncategorized

Customer: “My phone doesn’t work, it has dial sound only!”

Me: “Okay, what I need you to do is to reset your phone by disconnecting it from the power and try the main phone connection.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have time to do that. You have to send out a serviceman and fix this now!”

Me: “Yes, of course we can do that. However, if the serviceman discovers that the problem is related to your phone or cables, you will have to pay for the service which is 1875NOK (around $290 USD).”

Customer: “What did you say that I had to do first?”

D as in Duh

| Germany | Language & Words, Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “This computer’s serial number is 5, 2, Bravo, Delta–”

Customer: “Whoa, hold up! I’m a civilian, I don’t do that military lingo. Try that again.”

Me: “Okay, it’s 5, 2, B, D–”

Customer: “Wait, was that two B’s?”

Me: “No, that’s Bravo, Delta.”

Customer: “I’m not in the military! Speak English!”

Me: “B as in Bravo. D as in Delta.”

Customer: “There, was that so hard?”

Ah, Mothers, Part 5

| California, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

Me: “Your vehicle is a total loss.”

Customer: “My vehicle is in great condition!”

Me: “It’s 14 years old and it costs more to repair your vehicle than it’s worth.”

Customer: “Well, my son is 14 years old and he’s not falling apart!”

Related:
Ah, Mothers, Part 4
Ah, Mothers, Part 3
Ah, Mothers, Part 2
Ah, Mothers

No Signs Of Old Age

| Lansdale, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

(An older customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Hi, the woman up front rang me up wrong. This shirt is supposed to be $17.99.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m the one that put up the signs. I assure you they’re correct. Why don’t I go double check it for you?”

(I check the signs.)

Me: “I checked the signs, and they’re correct. The shirts on the rack are $26.99, but the capris on the rack are $17.99.”

Customer: “But I read $17.99! The sign was right above the shirts!”

Me: “Yes, but there’s only so many spots for signs on a rack. The sign says ‘Capris’ right underneath the price. There’s also a sign for the shirts on the same rack.”

Customer: “Well you should talk to your manager, because old people can’t read!”

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