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    Putting The Mental In Sentimental

    | West Sussex, UK | Bizarre

    Me: “Hello and thank you for you calling.”

    Caller: “I’m looking for a hoodie.”

    Me: “Okay, what one would you like?”

    Caller: “A dark one, with a hood.”

    Me: ” Have you looked at our website?”

    Caller: “No. You can pick one for me, and everytime I wear it I’ll think of you…”

    Don’t Count On Intelligence

    | New Jersey, USA | At The Checkout, Top

    Customer: “How much is this? I’m kind of bad at math.”

    Me: “Sure. It come to $10.20.”

    (The customer hands me a $10 bill.)

    Customer: “Here you go.”

    Me: “Alright, I need at least 20 more cents.”

    Customer: “Oh…alright.”

    (The customer puts down five pennies.)

    Customer: “Is that enough?”

    Me: “15 more cents.”

    (The customer puts down a dime.)

    Me: “Alright you have $10.15 now.”

    (The customer puts down 5 more pennies, but takes away the $10 bill.)

    Me: “Alright, you have the right amount of change. But I need that $10 bill.”

    Customer: “But this is 20!”

    Me: “20 cents. And your total is $10.20.”

    Customer: “Oh, I get it.”

    (The customer hands me a $1 bill.)

    Me: “I’ll need that $10 bill you had before.”

    (The customer gives me the $10 bill and begins to take away the 20 cents.)

    Me: “Wait…actually no you’re good. That’s the right amount.”

    Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 3

    | USA | Technology

    (A customer calls in to get help setting up a video conferencing unit with a display on the remote that shows status of selection.)

    Me: “So, are you pointing the remote at the unit?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Where is the display on the remote? Is the top or bottom closest to you?

    Customer: “The bottom is closest to me.”

    Me: “Okay, turn the remote around so the LCD is towards the unit.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    Me: “What do you see?”

    Customer: “The back of the remote.”

    Not Remotely Intelligent 2
    Not Remotely Intelligent

    Not In Full Receipt Of Your Faculties

    | Downers Grove, IL, USA | Extra Stupid

    Caller: “Hi, I need a copy of my receipt for an order I had the other day.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. I will need the date, your name, the company name, and if you have it, the amount.”

    Caller: “Yes, my name is Diane, I’m calling from [Company] and it was for yesterday. The amount was $158.26. No, wait. It was $128.26. At least, that’s what it says on the receipt that I’m holding.”

    Me: “So you have the receipt, then?”

    Caller: *pause* “Yes! Thanks for your help!” *click*

    Bulk Mail To The Future

    | Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Math & Science, Technology

    Caller: “Hi, I called earlier and spoke with someone about getting a quote? She was supposed to email it to me, but I haven’t seen it yet.”

    Me: “Not a problem, ma’am. How long ago was she supposed to have sent it?”

    Caller: “Maybe ten minutes ago?”

    Me: “Let me check with her. Did you check the spam folder, just in case?”

    Caller: “I’ve never opened that folder. I really don’t think it would be there anyway.”

    Me: “Well, sometimes business emails will automatically go to a spam folder based on their settings. You might want to check anyway.”

    Caller: “That’s ridiculous! It wouldn’t be there. Those emails are from the future!”

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