November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Medication Frustration

| Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Health & Body, Uncategorized

Customer: “I’m picking up a prescription for [name].”

Me: “Okay. Just a second.”

(I check the drawer for the prescription and can’t find it.)

Me: “When did you order it?”

Customer: “Well, I saw the doctor on Monday.”

Me: “So you came in on Monday?”

Customer: “No, I went to the doctor’s on Monday.”

Me: “Okay, so when did you drop your prescription off?”

Customer: “What do you mean? I went to the doctor.”

Me: “And did he give you a piece of paper that said what drugs you needed?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “That’s a prescription. You need to bring it here so that we know what you need.”

Customer: “But I saw the doctor on Monday! Why didn’t he do it?”

Me: “That’s not his job. That’s what pharmacists are for.”

Customer: “So what, he’s a doctor but he’s not a pharmacist? Look, I saw him on Monday so he probably just did it then. You’re just not looking hard enough. Look for the things done on Monday!”

Jane Austen-tacious

| Connecticut, USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi. Maybe you can help me. I saw a movie last night on TV. It was about those things that Oprah does? Do you know what it was?”

Me: “What happened in the movie?”

Customer: “Well, they read books, but only by this one person who writes books.”

Me: “Like a book club?”

Customer: “Yes! A book club! But the movie came from a book. What was the title?”

Me: “Was it The Jane Austin Book Club?”

Customer: “Yes! Would you have any books by Jane Austen?”

Me: “Absolutely!”

(I take her to our Jane Austen books. She is very excited and starts flipping through them.)

Customer: “Hey, wait! There’s no photo of her! I want to see what she looks like!”

Me: “I’m afraid there aren’t any photos of her.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “She lived two hundred years ago.”

Customer: “Oh! So do all of her books take place in her time?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “So…she didn’t write The Jane Austen Book Club?”

No ID, No Idea

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Money, Uncategorized

Customer: “So how long will it take to receive my new debit card?”

Me: “Five to seven days.”

Customer: “How will I make sure no one uses my card?”

Me: “Although there is no 100% fool proof way, you can start by writing ‘SEE ID’ on the back of the card so merchants can cross reference it with your ID for each transaction.”

Customer: “Oh! I can’t do that, I do a lot of transactions online and they won’t be able to see my ID.”

*long, awkward pause*

Customer: “Never mind, just pretend I didn’t just say that.”

Post Dramatic

| Berlin, Germany | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(I receive a call from an upset customer who is waiting for her mobile phone to be delivered.)

Customer: “My daughter’s birthday was in February! Since then, we’ve been waiting for this mobile phone!”

Me: “I’m really sorry, I will forward this immediately to my colleagues and–”

Customer: “I don’t know whether you’re a mother, but if you are you can understand the pain! How it feels if your own child is always waiting for her mobile phone!”

Charged Up With Anger–If Nothing Else

| LaCrosse, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Top

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. May I have your first and last name, please?”

Caller: “You people sent me a broken phone! I just got this phone from you people Friday and have charged it all f****** weekend and when I take it off the charger, it just dies! I want my money back and you better give me a new phone!”

Me: “Well ma’am, it would be my pleasure to assist you in trying to troubleshoot–”

Caller: “I don’t want no damn troubleshooting! I want a new phone! Now!”

Me: “I’ll be more than happy to get you a new phone but I first need some numbers from inside your phone to process the request. Can you please remove the back of the phone and remove the battery for me?”

Caller: “D*** straight you’ll get me a new phone!” *noise of fiddling with the battery cover* “You people try to rip good folk off and squeeze every dime you leeching-” *pause* “Oh. My. God.”

Me: “Ma’am, you never placed the battery into the phone when you opened the box, did you?”

Caller: “Is that what the little black square thing is? Oh shucks, I’ll take care of it now. Bye!”