I worked in a medical office where patients would call in to refer themselves for treatment. I would take some information from them as a series of simple questions that took maybe five minutes, and then I would agree on an appointment with them. You’d think this whole process would be easy.
One time, I was talking to the husband of a patient because she was unable to call for herself.
Husband: “My wife needs physiotherapy.”
Me: “What part of the body does she need physiotherapy for?”
Husband: “She needs physiotherapy.”
Me: “Okay, is that for her neck? Her arms? Her legs?”
Husband: “She needs physiotherapy.”
Me: “…I understand that she needs physiotherapy. I need to know what part of the body she needs physiotherapy for.”
I had to rephrase other questions, and the whole process took twice as much time as it should have. Fun times!
(I was 13 at the time and very innocent and naive. As usual, my dad is too cheap to get air conditioner so he’s downstairs with no shirt where it’s cooler. I’m barefoot and I’ve just been standing on the tile, where it’s cool.)
Me: “Dad go upstairs, it’s cooler. See?” *places cool feet on his chest*
Dad: “Ah nice. Do the other one too.”
(So I do and then he gets a strange look and says to stop. Later, I thought about it and realized. Gross dad.)
I have many cats. 10 because momma cat just had kittens, and they are eating wet food out of a small cat food bowl now. Not paying attention I stepped directly on a bowl. I ended up sliding and breaking the bowl. I fell forward and had to break my fall using my forearm to stop myself from death via doorframe. My mother had a very terrible reaction. She was on the phone, with her grandmother.
A loud snap, the sound of sliding plastic, a small panicked scream, a bang, and a pained groan later.
Me: *looking at slowly bruising arm and calming my heart rate*
Mother: CAN YOU JUST SHUT UP!?
Used to it I just shut my mother and slowly pick up the pieces of plastic.
Two minutes later
Mother: NOW WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU BREAK?!
No ‘are you okay?’ Or ‘are you hurt?’
Just screaming. Nice parenting, trash.
I’ve never really gotten into video games, either as a child or an adult, so while I don’t think they’re beneath me or anything, I just don’t really understand them. I’m also generally a serious person and not overly emotive, which my family and I joke about (e.g.; “I’m an unfeeling monster” when a sentimental part of a movie doesn’t outwardly affect me).
My husband is more expressive, and does like video games. He plays different ones with our kids, which is a fun bonding experience for them. Recently he and our oldest have been working through a particular game and they just finished a difficult portion of it. My oldest told me excitedly, “Mom, we found an alien and helped hatch her eggs but then SHE DIED.”
Not really sure what significance that had to the rest of the game and being admittedly distracted by my task at hand, I only said, “Oh.”
She rolled her eyes and turned to my husband and said, “Dad, it’s too bad Mom doesn’t have feelings, isn’t it?”
I DO have this feeling: I love her!
Customer: “I need a password reset.”
Me: “In order to reset, we require you to answer the security question you picked.”
I load her account to find her security question.
Security Question: “What is baby daddy’s name?”
Customer: “How am I supposed to know that?”
