October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Byte-Size Counts

| Zagreb, Croatia | Uncategorized

Customer: “So, I have two hosting packages from you?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Are these packages 500 megabytes each?”

Me: “That’s right!”

Customer: “So, that’s like 1,000 megabytes?”

Me: “Yes, they are.”

Customer: “Is that like a gigabyte?”

Me: “Well, yeah, I guess. Almost.”

*short silence*

Customer: “D***, am I big!”

Modern Parks Just Aren’t Cutting It

| Tennessee, USA | Uncategorized

(An angry-looking man storms up to me with his camera still around his neck.)

Customer: “I’d like to file a complaint!”

Me: “Sorry to hear that sir. What’s the problem?”

Customer: “Why don’t you call some of your maintenance men to get out in the park and mow the grass?”

Me: (Assuming he means a lawn area, as this is a national park.) “Where did you mean, sir?”

(The customer names one of the park’s prime visitation spot, which is famous for its inner fields.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the grass is kept long to provide habitats and protection for the animals in the park.”

Customer:”Why the h*** would you do that? Don’t hide them! I paid money to come take pictures of them! The animals are here for me to take pictures of!”

Wild Accusations

| Asheville, NC, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I keep seeing a charge for $9.99 on my account. Why do you people keep charging me $9.99?”

Me: “Sir, that charge is coming not from us, but from GGW.”

Customer: “What the h*** is GGW? People are stealing my money and you do nothing! So what the h*** is GGW?”

(I have seen the charge for GGW before. I usually just use the abbreviation to spare the customer.))

Me: “Sir, GGW stands for Girls Gone–”

Customer: “Oh yeah. Never mind I remember now…uh…bye.” *click*

Pajama Drama

| Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

(I am a customer at a 24-hour store at about 3am. I noticed that the store uses the same system at my own store. Since the cashier is new to his job, I am teaching him how to put in coupons when another customer comes up.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Cashier: “Yes? Did you need something?”

Customer: “No, her.” *points to me*

Me: “No.”

Customer: “You’re using the till!”

Me: “I work at a different grocery store. I’m just helping him out.”

Customer: “I can’t believe they let you work here in pajamas!”

Me: “I’m not working right now.”

Customer: “Where is your manager?”

Cashier: “He’s asleep.”

Customer: “So what you guys do is wear pajamas and take naps when there are no customers?”

Me: “Well, of course.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay!”

Logic That Doesn’t Hold Water

| Green Brook, NJ, USA | Uncategorized

(I recently sold a pool to an elderly customer. Right after the installers leave, she calls the store.)

Customer: “Hi, may I speak with [me]?”

Me: “This is [me], how may I help you?”

Customer: “I just had my pool installed today.”

Me: “Oh yes, how did everything go? Are you satisfied with the job?”

Customer: “Yes everything is perfect, but I was wondering what box the water came in? I think the delivery men may have forgotten it.”

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