Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • The True Appliance Of Science
    (1,576 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    The Art Of Persuasion

    | New Hampshire, USA |

    (This is on one of the busiest days we’ve ever had. We literally had to stop letting people into the park)

    Guest: “Why can’t I go into the park?! I drove here from Cape Cod!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the general manager said we’re not allowed to let anyone else in. We’re at capacity.”

    Guest: “Why can’t I go in now? There are a ton of people leaving!”

    Me: “There are a few things, sir. The general manager said we can’t allow anyone else in, we have weather coming which might halt operations, and even if we let you in, you honestly wouldn’t have fun. There are a ton of people in there.”

    Guest: “I DROVE HERE FROM CAPE COD! YOU HAVE TO LET ME AND MY FAMILY IN!”

    Me: “Sir, your options are you can stay here and complain to me about not being let in, or I can let you in, and you can pay $35 to complain to me that there are too many people inside the park. How’s that?”

    Guest: “On second thought, I’ll just go to the beach.”

    Haphazardly Placed Vowels Does Not A Language Make

    | Branson, MO, USA |

    (I’m a customer and see an employee is waiting on another customer. The employee speaks perfect English and actually looks Hawaiian.)

    Customer: “EL POLO ICE-CREAMO!”

    Employee: Umm… yeah?”

    Customer: “I want some choco-lato ice-creamo. GRASSIOS!”

    Employee: “I speak English fine. What size do you want?”

    Customer: “Oh, you are doing so good. Good job, boy. Umm… I want a GRAND-AY!”

    Let’s All Just Randomly Grab Crap

    | Atlanta, GA, USA |

    (I’m ringing up a customer’s items.)

    Customer: “That’s wrong. That’s on sale.”

    Me: “Well, the system is usually correct, and I don’t believe it is, but I can have someone check.”

    (After the area is checked, we find that I am correct.)

    Me: “The sign back there says the clearance EXCLUDES your item.”

    Customer: “No, it doesn’t.”

    Me: “Ma’am I just had an associate check for you to ensure that the item is not on sale.”

    Customer: “Yes it is! You are just a dumb cashier! Where is your supervisor?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am the supervisor. I’m sorry, but the sign clearly says in large red letters that your item is excluded from the sale.”

    Customer: “Well, I shouldnt have to pay attention! I saw clearance so I just grabbed something. I should get it cheaper because of it!”

    Hey G.W., Crazy Lady On Line 1

    | Washington, DC, USA |

    (I used to work in a building on 17th and Pennsylvania Ave, which is a block away from the White House.)

    Me: “Good morning, *** & ***.”

    Lady: “Uh, hi… is this office in DC?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, this is the DC office. How may I direct your call?”

    Lady: “Is your building by the White House?”

    Me: “Yes, it is…?”

    Lady: “Can you run over there and tell them to pick up the phone? I’ve been calling all day but I can’t get ahold of the President!”

    Me: *click*

    From Runaway Bride To Ex-Wife

    | Texas, USA | Spouses & Partners, Top

    (A few years ago I was working at a video store when there were still late fees, and this exchange occurred after I scanned a couple’s rentals:)

    Me: “Okay, sir, with the late fee from your last rental, your total is $9.50.”

    Husband: “What do you mean a late fee? I ALWAYS return my movies on time, so you need to remove that late fee right now!”

    Me: “Well sir, you returned–”

    Husband: “I said I ALWAYS return my movies on time and you need to remove that late fee right now! I’m not paying this!”

    Me: “Then you won’t be renting these movies tonight. All late fees must be paid before renting again.”

    Husband: “I’m NOT paying this, so you better take it off now!”

    Wife: “What movie is this late fee for anyway? We ALWAYS return our movies on time!”

    Me: “This is for Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts. You rented it on the 6th and it was due on the 11th, but you didn’t return it until the 15th. ”

    Husband: “Oh yeah, that’s right, we never got around to watching it. I’ll pay for it.”

    Wife: “We never rented Runaway Bride and I was out of town on the 6th.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, it’s showing that Jennifer rented the title.”

    Wife: “Who is Jennifer?” *pauses and her face becomes red* “Oh, that b***h!”

    (The wife proceeds to slap her husband, takes the keys and drives away, leaving her husband in the store.)

    Husband: “Well, I guess I deserved that, huh?”

    Me: “Sir, you put your mistress on your account?”

    Husband: “Yeah, she likes movies…”

    Me: “You are aware that she could have opened her own account for free, right?”

    Husband: “Oh s***, really?”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.


    Page 1,891/2,100First...1,8891,8901,8911,8921,893...Last