In A Stupid Mood

| Corolla, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

(At the checkout line, a customer and her grand daughter have placed mood rings all over their fingers.)

Customer: “Isn’t it amazing how they know exactly what type of mood you’re in?”

Me: “Would you to add any mood rings?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, it will be [price].”

Customer: *pays*

Me: “Your change is [change]”

(I hand the customer one of the new five dollar bills.)

Customer: “I think this bill is counterfeit.”

Me: “I assure you, it’s not ma’am.”

Customer: “Sure it is, it’s colored.”

Me: “It’s actually a mood five. It changes according to your mood.”

Customer: “The things they do with technology!”

Marriage Bed(ding)

| Ontario, Canada | Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

(A male customer comes up to the return desk holding a bagged bedding set.)

Me: “Hi sir, would you like to return that?”

Man: “Yes please.”

Me: “May I ask why?”

Man: “Um…my wife told me to?”

Me: “Good enough for me!”

Fair Trade Waylaid

| United Kingdom | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, where is the tea?”

Me: “Right this way.”

Customer: “Do you have any tea that isn’t fair trade?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Do you have any tea that isn’t fair trade? It’s more expensive!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I think you are missing the point.”

Customer: “It’s more expensive! That isn’t very fair to me!”

Caught Red Carded

| New Zealand | Liars & Scammers, Money, Uncategorized

(A customer comes in to get replacement debit card. Lost cards attract a replacement fee, but for stolen cards the fee is waived.)

Customer: “I need to cancel my debit card and get a new one.”

Me: “No problem. Was it lost or stolen?”

Customer: *looks a bit confused* “I’ve only just noticed it’s missing. Does it make a difference?”

(I explain about replacement card fee.)

Customer: “Yeah, it think it must have been stolen when I left my wallet in the car earlier.”

Me: “No problem. Do you happen to have any ID on you?”

Customer: “Sure.”

(The customer pulls out an old, tattered wallet that also clearly contains a reasonable amount of cash and gets a drivers license
out.)

Me: “Thanks. You were pretty lucky.”

Customer: “How come?”

Me: “Lucky they only stole your debit card from your wallet.”

Customer: *suddenly looking guilty* “Yeah.”

*pause*

Customer: “So I’m going to charge the Replacement Card Fee?”

Me:“Yeah.”

Taxing Faxing, Part 6

| Lakewood, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

(We require full coverage insurance on vehicles we sell that we are financing in-house. I call the customer to tell her she needs to provide us with proof of insurance.)

Me: “We need you to fax us your current proof of insurance ma’am. You can have your insurance agent fax it over.”

Caller: “I’ll just use the fax at my work. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

(She calls back in an hour.)

Caller: “Okay, they said I could use the fax. How do I send it to you?”

Me: “Maybe you could ask someone there to help you?”

Caller: *yelling* “Bob! I need to fax this to the car place!”

Bob: *in background* “What’s the fax number?”

(I tell the customer the fax number.)

Customer: “Okay, it’s working.”

(My fax machine rings, and her insurance starts printing.)

Customer: “Now make sure you send that back to me, it’s my original and I have to keep it in my car!”

Me: “Um…it should be sitting on your fax machine.”

Customer: “Wow, these fax things are fast!”

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 5
Taxing Faxing, Part 4
Taxing Faxing, Part 3
Taxing Faxing, Part 2
Taxing Faxing

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