November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

May Contain Traces Of Messiah

| Davie, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Religion, Uncategorized

Me: “Welcome to [Smoothie Store]! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Good morning to you! I need the large blueberry please.”

Me: “Alright sir, Ill get those started for you. What kind of free boost would you like in your smoothies?”

Customer: “You know what my favorite and the best boost of all is?”

Me: “No sir, I don’t. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Jesus.”

Me: “Oh, haha. You would like a Jesus boost?”

Customer: “Why yes, I like to boost my day with Jesus everyday! mAre you filled with the light, have you accepted Christ into your life?”

Me: “Yes sir, I have. So what boost would you like in your smoothie?”

Customer: “I told you already.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, looks like were fresh out of Jesus today.”

Customer: “Oh that’s too bad. I’ll just have the whey protein, then.”

Taxing Faxing, Part 5

| Fond du Lac, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers, Uncategorized

Customer: “Can you make a copy of my fax papers?”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “Okay, now fax them.”

(I go over to the fax machine and send them; I come back with the papers.)

Customer: “I thought you were going to fax my papers?”

Me: “I just did.”

Customer: “Then why are the papers in your hands still?”

Me: “What are you talking about?”

Customer: “When you fax something, it sends the papers to them instantly doesn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, because it scans them and sends it.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought it sent the papers instantly to the number.”

Me: “Phone lines can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well I guess I didn’t need the copies then. Do I still have to pay for them if I give them back to you to get rid of?”

Taxing Faxing, Part 4
Taxing Faxing, Part 3
Taxing Faxing, Part 2
Taxing Faxing

Do As I Say, Not As I Play

| Wilmington, NC, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(A little girl approaches me by herself.)

Little Girl: “The game I was playing didn’t give me all of my tickets.”

Me: “Do you know what the game was called?”

Little Girl: “Uhh…no.”

Me: “Well, if you could just go find out the name of the game and come back and tell me, I can send someone over there to help you.”

(She walks back into the arcade. Thirty seconds later, a very angry looking man walks up to my counter.)

Customer: “Why the h*** would you send her back there by herself? She’s only 8 years old!”

Me: “Well, she came up here unsupervised.”

Customer: “I was playing a game! I couldn’t stop in the middle of my game!”

Just Wait Until She Finds The Penny Slots

| Wellington, New Zealand | Money, Uncategorized

Customer: “I’ll take a $2 scratch-and-win, please.”

Me: “Awesome. Here you go.”

Customer: “I was wondering how much you have to pay for one with prizes?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “If I got a $3 one, would it have a chance to win prizes?”

Me: “That one you have has a chance to win prizes, ma’am. They all do.”

Customer: *surprised* “Really?”

Me: “Of course.”

Customer: *excited* “You learn something new every day!”

Not So Pretty In Pink

| New York, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(A customer is trying on a black and white top by a well known designer and it fits her very well. Her daughter is with her.)

Customer: “I just wish this wasn’t black and white. I want something brighter.”

Me: “Well, we do have a dress by the same designer which has the same silhouette in pink. I think it would look good with your complexion and hair color.”

Customer: “No thanks. My daughter doesn’t think I look good in pink so I’m going to have to listen to her on this.”

(The customer’s five-year old daughter solemnly nods with approval.)