Count-er Productive

| Hershey, PA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Uncategorized

(I work as a hostess at a restaurant in a busy tourist area. As a result, we are frequently on a wait.)

Me: “Hi! How many today?”

Customer: “Six please.”

(Note, our biggest tables are meant for six.)

Me: “Great! And how many children’s menus for you?”

Customer: “I have a four year old, so only one.”

Me: “Okay! Take a seat and I’ll call you when your table’s ready.”

(Since we were especially busy, the party waited for about twenty minutes. When a table is finally available, I call them up. The six walk up, carrying two toddlers and pushing a baby carrier with an infant inside.)

Me: “Ma’am, I thought you said there were six?”

Customer: “There are only six that are going to eat! Wait, you mean my kids count?”

Me: “There is not room for nine at that table. I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait longer.”

Customer: *storming out* “I’m going to a place that doesn’t count my kids!”

2 Guys, A Lie And A Burger Place

| Sebastian, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Uncategorized

(The customer points out an ad on our window asking customers to inquire on how to get a free burger.)

Customer: “How do you get the free burger?”

Me: “You call the number on the back of your receipt and after a short survey they give you a confirmation code.”

Customer: “Yeah, my code is 6610. Now give me my free burger.”

Me:“Sir, if you’re going to make up a fake code make sure you know how long the codes are.”

Will Power On Aisle 2

| Canada | Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

Teenage girl: “Do you guys sell that contraceptive abstinence?”

Me: “Abstinence?”

Teenage girl: “Yeah! Abstinence! I read that it’s the only 100% way to not get pregnant!”

Me: “That’s right. But, abstinence is to not have sex. Like abstain from.”

Teenage girl: “Well, that just sucks!”

I Now Pronounce You Employed

| Michigan, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello sir, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “Hi, are you hiring?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. This is a family-run business. Is there something you wanted to eat?”

Customer: “No. I wanted a job.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we cannot hire you. If you don’t want anything to eat, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. We are very busy today.”

(The customer leaves, frustrated. Not 10 minutes later, he returns.)

Me: “Hello again, do you want something to eat now?”

(The customer gets down on one knee.)

Customer: “Will you marry me?”

Me: “Sir, please stand up.”

(Whole shop applauds.)

Customer: “Please? It’s my only hope of getting a job!”

Not Quite Up Their Alley

| Pennsylvania, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

Customer: “We would like to bowl on the lane next to our friends. They are on lane five.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. You are on lane 6.”

Customer: “Where’s that?”

Page 1,884/2,626First...1,8821,8831,8841,8851,886...Last