July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Technology To Shout About

| London, UK | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello sir, I’ve just come to put a microphone on you.”

Client: “I hate those things. Do I need one? I can project.”

Me: “You have an audio conference call on this event, so you need to speak into a microphone. Otherwise, people calling in won’t hear anything.”

Client: “Can’t I just shout?”

Me: “From London to Mumbai?”

Not Quite Seeing The Light

| UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “I can’t get on with these reading glasses. I can read fine with them here, but not at home.”

Me: “Okay, have a look at the reading chart here.”

Customer: “Well, I can read that here, but not at home when I read in the evening.”

Me: “It’s quite bright here. What kind of lighting are you using at home?”

Customer: “What difference would that make?”

Me: “Well if you’re reading in poor light that can make it more difficult to see small print.”

Customer: “Well, I just have a table lamp.”

Me: “You might want to try a reading light. Better light does
make it easier to see.”

Customer: “I just want glasses that work! You don’t need light to see!”

Identity Theft Is Childs Play

| Iowa City, IA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am a customer in line. There is a woman with a 4 year old finishing up their purchase.)

Me: “Here’s your change.”

4-Year-Old: “Mommy, can I do the scribbles?”

Customer: “No, honey. I paid with cash, not my credit card.”

Stealthy Healthy, Part 2

| Andover, MN, USA | Uncategorized

(Our fast food outlet just started selling oatmeal yesterday.)

Me: “Welcome to our store, would you like to try out fruit oatmeal today?”

Customer: “Wait, that actually sounds healthy. I’m confused.”

Related:
Stealthy Healthy

Best To Avoid The Void

| Newcastle, Australia | Uncategorized

(I can’t cancel sales. If customer doesn’t want an item, I must void it and it still appears on the next receipt with the deletion below. This conversation takes place after I voided a $30 CD player and another customer comes through.)

Customer: “The previous lady’s CD player is still on my receipt. I don’t want to pay for it!”

Me: “Sorry madam, but if you look just below the CD player It says ‘Void CD Player’ and there is a -$30 next to it meaning the money has already come off your total.”

Customer: *agitated* “I’m not very good at maths, but that doesn’t sound right. I don’t believe you.”

Me: “The total of your items was only $16.50. If you had to also pay for the CD player, it would have been $46.50. You only gave me $20.”

Customer: “I’m don’t believe you. If I figure out how you tricked me I’ll be back!”

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