Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
    (2,010 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Of All The Times To Dial A Wrong Number

    | Austin, TX, USA |

    (Okay, so I was answering the phone and this guy calls us instead of the number he means to…)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Him: “Hey baby.”

    Me: “What?”

    Him: “I’ve got the stuff for tonight, are you ready for it?”

    Me: “Um, WHAT?”

    Him: “You know what, babe…”

    Me: “I think you have the wrong number…”

    Him: “Oh good lord, I’m sorry! BYE!” *click*

    (Me and my mother laughed about that one for a good 5 minutes.)

    Deja Vu In Aisle 3

    | Oakville, ON, Canada |

    (I work in the stock department of a small, local grocery store. Generally, I would get 1 or 2 requests to check the back for an item a shift. An elderly woman-I’d say around 75-80–approaches me. She is asking about a common type of flour we carry.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’ve managed to find 4 of these. Would you care to check the back room to see if you have any more?”

    Me: “Sure thing.”

    (I grab a single flour package from her. After 1-2 minutes of aimless searching in the backroom, I return the bag to the woman.)

    Customer: “Why, thank you! Now I have 4! Thats exactly how many I needed! God bless you!”

    (I was way too embarrassed for her to explain the situation.)

    Me: “You’re…welcome. Anything else?”

    Customer: “One more thing, dear.”

    Me: “What is it?”

    Customer: “Can you check the back to see if you have any more of these?”

    Caught Red-Handed, Part 2

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    (This is why it’s good to check inside the box when someone returns something.)

    Me: “Ok sir, what’s wrong with the XBOX360?”

    Customer: “Oh, it just doesn’t work.”

    Me: “Ok.”

    (I get the box, and policy indicates that I have to open it up. I look inside and there was a Sega Saturn with a couple of old stereo parts.)

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, this isn’t what supposed to be inside here.”

    Customer: *fumbling for words* “Oh…oh…uh…that isn’t it. I have the real one at home. I’ll just get it…”

    (Customer picks up the box and walks away, never to be seen from again. All the while I sit back laughing.)

    Related:
    Caught Red-Handed

    Thank You For Calling Webster’s

    | California, USA |

    (Ok, to explain. I work in a company that sells landscaping materials. You know…rock, dirt, compost, etc. This is a phone conversation I had.)

    Me: “Hello, [Company Name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer:: “Hello, I had a question about compost.”

    Me: “Well, we have two kinds. Mushroom compost and chicken compost.”

    Customer:: “Well, I want to know what is compost.”

    Me: “Well, the mushroom compost is a mixture of horse manure, peat moss, gypsum, oyster-shell lime, straw and composted rice hulls. The chicken–” *customer cuts me off*

    Customer:: “No I mean…what *is* compost?”

    Me: “Decomposing organic matter?”

    Customer:: “I see…what do you mean by ‘decomposing organic matter’?”

    Me: *wondering if this is a prank call by now* “Well…as in organic matter that is breaking down in a natural process…”

    Customer:: “What is ‘organic’?”

    Me: “Okay. What do you think happens when you throw your coffee grounds, apple cores, and other scraps into a huge pile with animal manure?”

    Customer:: “…it starts to stink.”

    Me: “Because it’s decomposing.”

    Customer:: “…but what is ‘decomposing’?”

    Me: “It’s rotting.”

    Customer:: “…and we put this in our gardens?”

    Me: “Ironic, isn’t it?”

    Customer:: “Okay, so what do you mean by ‘matter’?”

    (I’m sure you can all figure out how this conversation went at this point. 20 minutes of my life I will never have back.)

    I’ll Take A Double Entendre With A Side Of Innuendo

    | Redmond, OR, USA |

    (I was a pump attendant (Oregon is a no-self-serve state) and a fairly attractive middle-aged woman in a mid 90′s Ford pickup pulled up for fuel. Now, that style of truck has two gas tanks, one in front, one in back. Here’s our conversation:)

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

    Her: “I just need ten bucks worth of diesel, please.”

    Me: “Okay, which tank?”

    Her: “Oh, I think I’ll take it in the rear tonight!”

    (We both paused, she turned bright red, and it was all I could do not to bust out laughing!)


    Page 1,882/1,968First...1,8801,8811,8821,8831,884...Last