Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Go Easy On The Brain
    (1,923 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    I’m Afraid You Can’t Spell, Dave

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    (I was monitoring the customers at the self-checkout machines when a customer holding a cilantro angrily waved me over.)

    Me: “Sir, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “These machines are so useless! They don’t even have cilantro under the look-up list!”

    Me: “Sir, it’s because you’re looking under ‘S’ instead of ‘C’ – cilantro is spelled with a ‘C’.”

    Customer: “Oh, so you’re a know-it-all, huh? We’ll see what you know when these machines take over YOUR job one day!”

    Me: “…”

    Paranoia In The W.C.

    | Grayson, KY, USA |

    (I was just about to clean the ladies room, when a female customer walked up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, how do you lock this door?”

    Me: “There’s no lock on the door, but there’s stalls in there.”

    Customer: “But, what if someone tries watching me? I want to know I’m safe from voyeurs.”

    Me: “I’m pretty sure nobody will be watching.”

    Customer: “What about the men’s room? Is there a lock over there?”

    Me: “Well, there’s a stall in there, but there’s two in this one.”

    Customer: “But, no lock?”

    Me: “Would it help if I stood guard?”

    Customer: *now yelling* “Oh? So, you think you can get a little peep show?! Well, I’ll have you know that I won’t tolerate a pervert in my midst! I’ll take my business elsewhere, and you’re getting reported for harassment!”

    Me: “But, I–”

    Customer: “Good day!” *storms out*

    Manager: *listening from his office* “What was that all about?!”

    Me: “I don’t know.”

    This Quote Brought To You By The Number TWO

    | Burlington, Ontario, Canada | Top

    Customer: *on the phone* “I know you aren’t tech support, but I have an easy question.”

    Me: “Ok…”

    Customer: “How do you make the @ symbol…you know, for the email?”

    Me: “You hold the shift key and press 2.”

    Customer: “Won’t that just make a capital 2?”

    Me: “…”

    All Signs Point To Yes

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada |

    (A customer is at the refund counter to return a DVD player. I get called over to inspect it, because I work in the electronics department.)

    Coworker: “Alright, everything seems okay. May I see your receipt?”

    (The customer hands over her receipt, but it’s dated July. It was November at the time. Our return policy only allows for 45 days.)

    Coworker: “Ma’am, I cannot give you a refund, because this is from July.”

    Customer: “But the electronics associate said I can return it anytime!”

    Coworker: “Do you remember who it was?”

    Customer: “It was that young man!” *points towards me*

    Me: “Ma’am, I have never told you such a thing.”

    Customer: “Yes you did! Are you calling me a liar?!”

    Me: “Well, I’m just a seasonal worker who got hired two weeks ago, so…”

    Related:
    All Signs Point To Duh
    All Signs Point To No

    Always Right, Even When They Change Your God-Given Name

    | Portage, MI, USA |

    (I’m carrying out grocery bags for a middle-aged guy.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “I’m good, you?”

    Me: “I’m good, glad that it’s not snowing at the moment.”

    Customer: “So, your name is ***, right?

    Me: “Yeah.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m going to call you Samantha.”

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “So, how are you today, Sammy?”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “Sammy? Samantha? How are you?”

    Me: “Um…I’m good…” *walks away*

    Page 1,882/2,191First...1,8801,8811,8821,8831,884...Last