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    That’s A Talented Cow

    , | Elmira, NY, USA |

    Me: “What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I’ll have a turkey sub. No. Ham. I’ll have a ham and cheese sub.”

    Me: “What kind of cheese would you like?”

    Customer: “Bologna.”

    Diagnostics Through Osmosis

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA |

    (I was working part-time in my dad’s shop when a customer came in with a blue Kia Pride.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “My car don’t work.”

    Me: “OK, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “It don’t work.”

    Me: “Um, could you specify, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I just told you, it don’t work.”

    Me: “Uh, OK…let me just take a look to see what the problem is.”

    Customer: “No!!”

    Me: “Huh? Why?!”

    Customer: “Nobody goes into my property, and my car is my property!!”

    Me: “But I have to see your car to know what the problem is, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I just told you! It don’t work!”

    Me: “…”

    (Turns out, she just ran out of gas.)

    Who You Gonna Call?

    | Portland, OR, USA |

    Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, do you sell ghost vacuums?”

    Me: “Umm… no?”

    Customer: “Ok, well… thanks anyway.”

    Another Repressed Memory

    , | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    (I have a flat screen TV near my workplace that was showing a recent cartoon on DVD: “Tinkerbell”. A customer comes by with
    her toddler daughter in the cart, and watches a bit of the movie with the child.)

    Customer: “Aw, that’s cute! What movie is that?”

    Me: “It’s Tinkerbell“.

    Customer: “My little girl likes that one. How much is it?”

    Me: “It’s new, so it should be around 15 to 20 dollars.”

    Customer: “15 to 20 dollars?! That’s almost all of my beer money!”

    The Employee Is Always Wrong

    | Costa Mesa, CA, USA | Old Comics

    Customer Of The Week: The Employee Is Always Wrong
    Created by our friends at Quitting Time

    Original Story

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