October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Unintended Entendres

| Shenzhen, China | Uncategorized

(I have just completed a firewall and Internet circuit install for an international customer. His English is far better than my Cantonese, but slang expressions didn’t always translate.)

Customer: “Thank you! You know, we were worried about having a female engineer, but now I see that they are better.”

Me: “Well, thank you, sir. I’m glad your Internet is up and running. We always try to do a good job.”

Customer: “You even cleaned the server room! Men never clean the server room. It looks very nice!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I don’t think I have ever seen such a nice rack! Thank you!”

The Twilight Of Our Literacy

| Exton, PA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m going on a 25 hour plane ride, and I was just trying to find something to read.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of books do you read?”

Customer: “Young adult stuff, like romance stuff.  OH!  Or something with vampires.”

(I walk her over to the young adult section.  And show her a series with vampires. There are six books in the series and each book is quite small–not even 200 pages.)

Me: “Well, you might like this series. They’re easy books to read, but really good. I’ve read them.”

Customer: *flips through book* “It seems boring.”

Me: “Oh. Well, I can assure you it’s not.  They are quite action-packed.”

Customer: “I mean it looks wordy. Like, there’s a lot of words in it.”

Me: “Well, yeah…most books have words in them.”

Customer: “Hmm…I’ll think about it.”

(She ended up buying 3 teen magazines.)

A Hole In His Logic, Among Other Things

| Columbus, OH, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “The Swiss cheese I bought last week didn’t have any holes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Sometimes when we get to the end of a block of cheese, there aren’t many holes in it.”

Customer: “Well, can I get my money back?”

Me: “Did you bring the cheese back?”

Customer: “No. I ate it.”

Me: “Did it taste okay?”

Customer: “Yes, it tasted fine.”

Me: “I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do.”


Me: “Let me get my manager…”

Barking Up The Wrong Tree

| Southampton, UK | Uncategorized

Me: “Good morning, [game store] how can I help?”

Caller: “Can you tell me what’s coming out over the next three weeks?”

Me: “Which format would you like, sir?”

Caller: “All of them.”

Me: “You want all the releases for all the formats for the next three weeks?”

Caller: “YES!”

Me: “Okay… on PS2, we’ve got Yakuza–”

Caller: “Boring.”

Me: “Um…we’ve also got The Godfather–”

Caller: “That sounds rubbish.”

Me: “Um…there’s Reservoir Dogs next week–”

Caller: “I don’t even LIKE dogs. Why would I play that?!” *hangs up*

At The Corner Of Me & Myself

| Exeter, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’m looking for a taxi in my town please.”

Me: “Okay. Where are you, sir?”

Customer: “In my living room.”

Me: “Which town are you in in?”

Customer: “The junction by the nursing home.”

Me: “No…which town are you in, please?”

Customer: “You’re not very bright, are you?”

Page 1,881/2,511First...1,8791,8801,8811,8821,883...Last