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    Eww, Fresh Food

    | Alberta, Canada |

    Server: “Um… one of our tables asked me to bring this salad back.”

    Cook: “What’s wrong with it? It looks fine to me.”

    Server: “He complained that the lettuce was too green in his Greek salad.”

    Cook: “His lettuce was too green?”

    Server: “Yeah.”

    Cook: “I really don’t want to know what kind of lettuce that guy’s been eating…”

    (In the end, we had to call our manager in to explain to this guy that lettuce only comes one color, green.)

    You Said It, Not Me

    | Maui, Hawaii, USA |

    (A customer comes up with credit card bill.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to make a payment.”

    Me: “Sure, no problem.”

    (I take the bill and notice it’s actually for a different store.)

    Customer: “My wife went and bought a bunch of stuff, so I gotta pay the bill.”

    Me: “Sir, I don’t really know how else to say this but this is a [other store] card.”

    Customer: “I’m in [our store] aren’t I?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “You’re too nice. You should have just said ‘Get the f*** out. You’re in the wrong store!’”

    The Queen Has Left The Building

    | Hanover, MA, USA |

    Customer, to a female employee: “You know who you look like? Elvis…”

    Female employee: “…Thanks?”

    Fact Check Fail

    , | Liberty, MO, USA |

    Customer: “I want a refund. NOW!”

    Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

    Customer: “I came through the drive-thru about fifteen minutes ago, and you shorted me six tacos!”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “Well?!”

    Me: “We don’t have a drive-thru.”

    Customer: *slinks out of the store*

    Related:
    Fibbing Fail
    Cheapskates: FAIL
    Guilt Trip: FAIL
    Impersonating Your Boss: FAIL

    You’re Only As Old As You Act

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Top

    (An elderly woman well into her 70s comes through the check-out line with a single bottle of wine. I start to scan the bottle through.)

    Customer: “Wait! Aren’t you going to check my ID?”

    Me: “Er, no, ma’am, I don’t think it’s really necessary…”

    Customer: “Well, that’s no good! You should check all ID if you’re selling alcohol.”

    Me: “Well, okay. May I see your ID, please?”

    (She hands over an ID card that is obviously fake.)

    Me: “…ma’am, this card says you’re seventeen.”

    Customer: “Oh, dear! You’ve caught me! I’m much too young to be buying this! It’s a good thing you were checking IDs. I’d better just go now! *skips out the door*

    Me: “…”

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