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    Dumb, Dumberer And Dumberest

    | Anchorage, AK, USA |

    (I’m waiting in the movie ticket line and overhear three teenage girls having a conversation.)

    Girl #1: “What is the mat-in-ee?”

    Girl #2: “That’s like, a sea creature, right?”

    Girl #3: “OMG, you are so stupid! Its like when you get a discount because your dad is, like, in the military or something.”

    Girl #1: “OMG, I’m so stupid!”

    Girl #3: “Yeah, you should pay more attention to your surroundings!”

    Problem Is Too Stupid To Recognize It Exists

    | Perth, WA, Australia |

    Caller: “Hi, I want to use my roommate’s computer but it’s not working.”

    Me: “Could you describe the problem?”

    Caller: “Well, there’s a sign next to it that says ‘In case of error, PEBCAK.’ Could you explain it?”

    Me: *tries not to laugh* “It’s short for ‘Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard’.”

    Caller: “Oh! I get it! Hold on…”

    (I hear a loud cracking sound and some faint swearing.)

    Caller: “It’s still not working!”

    Me: “Er… what did you do?”

    Caller: “I took away the wooden bit under the keyboard… now it’s right over the chair!”

    (I actually head-desked after that.)

    There’s Always Time To B**** And Moan

    | Port Charlotte, FL, USA |

    Customer: “This phone doesn’t hang on the wall right. The handle keeps falling off.”

    (Knowing exactly what’s wrong, I fix the phone on the spot. It’s a simple fix.)

    Customer: “How did you do that?”

    Me: “I turned this little tab around so the handle catches on it.”

    Customer: “How did you know that?”

    Me: “Didn’t the instructions tell you how?”

    Customer: *snorts* “I don’t have time to read the instructions!”

    Customer Of The Week: Is It?!

    | Adelaide, Australia | Old Comics

    Customer Of The Week: Is It?!
    Created by our friends at Quitting Time

    Original Story:
    Getting A Word In Edgewise

    You Can Lead A Horse To Water, Part 3

    | Bloomfield, MI, USA |

    (A customer walks into my video rental store on Christmas Eve 2005; it’s about 9 pm.)

    Customer: “Are you open?”

    Me: “Are the lights on?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Are the lights on?”

    Customer: “Yes…”

    Me: “Was the door unlocked?”

    Customer: “Well, yeah…”

    Me: “Have you ever been somewhere that was closed when the lights were mon and the doors were open?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “So, you understand now!”

    Customer: “No. Are you open or not?”

    Related:
    You Can Lead A Horse To Water, Part 2
    You Can Lead A Horse To Water

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