Parking Up The Wrong Tree

| OH, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer walks in to the Service Desk.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Is there something that I can help you with?”

Customer: “That car in your parking lot has been sitting there for over a week and has not been moved! Shouldn’t you guys do something about that? I live across the street and I am absolutely sick of looking at it!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, it is broken down and we have informed the Sheriff’s department about it. It will be towed if they cannot contact the owner.”

Customer: “Well, that is absolutely the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Cars that have nothing to do with the store should not be parked here! I am so angry! Where are my dinner guests going to park now?!”

You Couldn’t Make It Up

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Top

(My job is to call people and pitch the brand of make-up my company sells. I call and an obviously really young girl answers the phone.)

Little Girl: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, may I talk to the lady of this residence?”

Little Girl: “That’s me.”

Me: “I mean, may I talk to your mom?”

Little Girl: “I have two dads.”

Me: “Oh well, never mind then. Have a nice day!”

Little Girl: “Wait! Why did you call?”

Me: “I’m selling make-up.”

Little Girl: “Oh! One of my daddies loves that stuff. It makes him look pretty when he goes dancing! Let me give him the phone! Dad! Dad! Some girl wants to make you look pretty!”

Taxing Customers

| FL, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer comes through my line and is watching me ring up her items.)

Customer: “So, you guys tax each item individually?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “So, you don’t just add it to the total?”

Me: “Well, yes, and no. The running total adds it all up so you can see your current total, with tax. Your receipt will print up a single total tax added. It’s the same amount.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. You’re charging me more for each item!”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s all the same. It’s just a matter of convenience, so you can see your total as each item is rung up.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! You’re stealing from me! I want to speak to a manager!”

(My manager has been standing behind her during the entire exchange.)

Manager: “Yes, ma’am, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “This young lady is stealing my money. She is adding extra tax and pocketing it!”

Manager: “Okay, ma’am, I’ll put it back for you.”

(My manager comes over and presses a few buttons that do nothing, then totals it out. The amount is the same, but the woman doesn’t notice.)

Manager: “Here you are, ma’am. You see your one tax add at the bottom.”

Customer: “Thank you!” *whispering* “You should get that evil girl out of here. She looks like a liberal, anyway.”

Gambling With His Life

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Uncategorized

(It’s been snowing for the last few days, and the roads are making travel difficult.)

Customer: “Boy! Those roads are horrible!”

Me: “Yes sir, so I’ve heard.”

Customer: “I don’t know why anyone would be out in this if they didn’t have to be!”

Me: “I agree. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Oh, I need some cigarettes and lottery tickets.”

The Birds And The Bees Talk, Illustrated (Comic)

| Belgium | Old Comics


Original Story | Comic by EvilNessie

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