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    How About A Sample Of Maturity

    | Paintsville, KY, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello! What would you like today?”

    Customer: “My son would like to try a root beer shaved ice!”

    (I make a root beer in a sample cup, but the customer takes the cup instead and tries it herself.)

    Customer: “EWWW! This is GROSS!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

    Customer: “This tastes like CLOVES! Ewwww! I don’t like CLOVES! This is GROSS!”

    Me: “Would you like to try another flavor?”

    Customer: “My son would like to try s’mores.”

    (I make a s’mores flavor in a sample cup, and just like last time, the customer tries it instead of her son trying it.)

    Customer: “EWWW! This is GROSS! I don’t like this!!”

    (A few minutes later…)

    Customer: “He’ll take a medium lemon-lime wedding cake flavored shaved ice. Oh, can we get a straw too?”

    Me: “Sure thing!”

    (I hand the customer a plastic bendy straw, who sticks it in her son’s shaved ice and takes a sip.)

    Customer: “EWWW! This is gross!! This straw tastes funny!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. How does it taste funny?”

    Customer: “It… it tastes like PLASTIC!! Ewww!”

    Quite Rightly, Waiting Impolitely Is Unsightly

    | Waterloo, Ontario, Canada | Top

    (The restaurant is very busy, so food wait time is longer than usual.)

    Table 1: “When is our food coming out? This is ridiculous; we’ve been waiting 20 minutes!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We are very busy right now, but I’ll be bringing out your food very shortly.”

    Table 1: “Well, I hope so! You’re the worst server we’ve ever had!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. Like I said, it’ll be out shortly.”

    (I move to another table.)

    Me: “I’m really sorry about the wait, I’ve checked on your food and it will be out shortly. I’m so sorry. I realize you’ve been waiting 40 minutes.”

    Table 2: “That’s not a problem at all…don’t worry about it.”

    Me: “I’d like to offer you your meals on the house, and thank you again for your patience.”

    Table 1: *overhearing* “How come WE don’t get our meals on the house?”

    Table 2: *to table 1* “Because WE’VE been waiting POLITELY!”

    Couldn’t Handle The Screening Process

    | Delaware, OH, USA | Uncategorized

    (I am hosting a class for senior citizens to help them learn computing.)

    Me: “Could I have everyone move their mouse to the top of their screens?”

    (An elderly gentleman in the back row takes his physical mouse, places it on the screen, and pushes it to the top.)

    Beyond Even The Power Of Pixel Dust

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like a copy of this photo, but I need one the people cropped out. “

    (The customer hands me a photo of three men, arms around each other’s shoulders in front of a brick wall.)

    Me: “Which one needs to be cropped out?”

    Customer: “The guy in the middle.”

    Me: “Well, we really can’t do that. That is more for a photo-refinishing artist.”

    Customer: “Can’t you just erase the guy in the middle?”

    Me: “We could, but then there would be a blank space were he once was. It would be pretty obvious.”

    Customer: “Oh, you won’t just see the wall behind him if he is removed?”

    Me: “No, the camera doesn’t take a picture of what is behind the person, just what you see.”

    Customer: “What if it was a digital camera?”

    Too Cool For School (Of Thought)

    | Illinois, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hey, how we doing today?”

    Customer: “I have a question.”

    Me: “Okay, what can I help you with?”

    Customer: “If  I buy a phone from you guys, do I still have to pay for the service?”

    Me: “Yes, we deal with the contracts for the providers.”

    Customer: “Oh. I thought you guys were cooler than that…”

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