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    Deception School Drop-Out

    | New York, NY, USA |

    Me: “Your total is $42.98.”

    Customer: “Wait, that can’t be right. Those pillows are on sale.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We just got these pillows in today. They won’t be on sale for at least a few more weeks.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! They say they’re on sale! You have to give me the sale price.”

    Me: “Well, I’ll double-check for you, but I already sold a few others today and no one else paid a sale price for them.”

    Customer: “Are you calling me a liar? Because I already checked! They all say they’re on sale!”

    (She points to the price tags on the pillows that have been haphazardly covered up by sale stickers.)

    Me: “Yes, and those sale stickers also say that these pillows are napkins.”

    Related:
    Fact Check Fail
    Fibbing Fail
    Cheapskates: FAIL
    Guilt Trip: FAIL
    Impersonating Your Boss: FAIL

    Customer Service Saves Another Life

    | Florida, USA |

    Customer: “How many pine nuts are in your ‘Lemon Orzo with Pine Nuts’?”

    Me: “A good amount, why?”

    Customer: “Because my husband is allergic, and I was just wondering how much I’d be able to give to him.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, do you like your husband?”

    Customer: “Yes, why?”

    Me: “Because it could very well kill him.”

    Customer: “…”

    Me: *nodding*

    Customer: “Oh…”

    It’s Baaccoonnnn!!!

    | Columbus, OH, USA |

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for ya?”

    Customer: “Yeah, um…do you guys serve breakfast?”

    Me: “Oh no, sorry, we only serve brunch on Sundays. We have bagels and pastries in the case right there.” *pointing*

    Customer: “Hmm, no, I really wanted breakfast.”

    Me: “Sorry, it’s just Sundays.”

    Customer: “But I smell bacon!”

    Me: “Yeah, the cook is in the back prepping for the day, and we have some sandwiches with bacon on them.”

    Customer: “I smell bacon! You serve breakfast! I want a hot breakfast!”

    Me: “Uh, no… just brunch on Sundays. Our lunch starts at 11:00am if you want to come back.”

    Customer: “NO! I smell bacon and I want breakfast now!” *storms out*

    Me: “…”

    Related: It’s Bacon! (YTMND)

    There’s Always Time To Complain

    | Toledo, OH, USA |

    (I overheard my coworker take this call…)

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling **** tech support, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “I don’t have time to get into it right now! It’s not working, I’ll call back later!”

    Coworker: “Okay… thank you for calling!”

    Related:
    I Just Called To Say I Hate You

    No More Teddy In Beddy

    , | Milwaukee, WI, USA |

    Me: “Hello, what brings you into [toy store]?”

    Customer: “Just looking around… all of my grandkids are too old for stuffed animals.”

    Me: “There are a lot of adults who come in who collect them.”

    Customer: “I saw a lot of college kids in here over the summer getting them.”

    Me: “Actually, I have a stuffed animal that I sleep with every night.”

    Customer: “You know what you need to do… you need to get yourself a man!”

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