Featured:
  • Retract The Tract
    (2,283 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    Provides A Pregnant Pause

    | MI, USA | Uncategorized

    (I pass by two very young girls, roughly 8 years old.)

    Girl, to her friend: “I just had my first child!”

    (I stop in my tracks before realizing that the children in question are playing a demo of ‘The Game of Life’.)

    A Stone’s Throw Away From Good Behavior

    | Rochester, MI, USA | Top

    (I am babysitting for a woman who refuses to leave the house. I am outside while her children are playing. She is watching us from the window.)

    Me: “[Child’s name], don’t throw rocks. They’re painful.”

    (When the child continues to throw the rocks at me, I take the rocks from him and put him in a time-out.)

    Mother: *rushing out of the house* “Don’t punish my children! Who do you think you are?”

    Me: “Ma’am, my employer requires me to give the children a time-out if they are doing anything dangerous.”

    Mother: “Wait, what? I thought you were just here to play with my kids!”

    Me: “Well, yes, babysitters usually do some sort of activity with the children.”

    Mother: “Why would I hire a babysitter if I’m here?! Why did you come here?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you called the company and asked them to send a babysitter to your house.”

    Mother: “Don’t punish my children!”

    (She chases me out of her yard with a duster. A few weeks later, she calls again for a babysitter. She was going to court because a neighbor’s child was hit in the head with a stone.)

    Taking A Gamble

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Recommend the movie I am thinking of!”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “You heard me. Are you deaf? Recommend the movie that I am thinking of!”

    (I reach over and put my hand on her head.)

    Customer:CASINO!”

    Train Trick-ets

    | Paris, France | Uncategorized

    (At the ticket booth in a Paris subway station.)

    Customer: *in very bad French* “Je voudrais deux billets, s’il vous plaît.”(I would like two tickets, please.)

    Me: *taking two tickets from a drawer* “Voilà!” (Here you go.)

    Customer: “Voilà? I saw you take them out of the drawer!”

    Banking Error

    | Malaysia | Top

    Me: “Here’s your new bank card. You will be able to change your PIN number at the ATM.”

    Customer: “PIN number is a redundant phrase. It’s like ‘personal identification number’, number. You work in a bank. You ought to know that by now.”

    Me: “You’re right, sir.”

    Customer: *smirks* “I’m always right. So, where’s the ATM machine?”

    Page 1,878/2,744First...1,8761,8771,8781,8791,880...Last