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    Best Quote An Alternator Price

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Auto Parts], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I need an alternator for my vehicle.”

    (I look up his car and the alternator.)

    Me: “Okay, the one we have in stock is $79.99.”

    Caller: “$49.99?”

    Me: “No, sir, $79.99.”

    Caller: “$49.99?”

    Me: “$79.99.”

    Caller: “Hey, you said $79.99!”

    Me: “Indeed I did, sir!”

    Wishy-Washy Analogies

    | Kentucky, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work for a place that sells towing systems.)

    Caller: “Yes, I was wondering if my car needs to be there when they install the mounting brackets for the tow-bar?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Since the mounting brackets are installed on your car, you car will need to be there”

    Caller: “Why? I don’t understand.”

    Me: “Well, sir, the mounting brackets are permanently attached to your vehicle. In order to attach them to your vehicle, we will need your vehicle to be there.”

    Caller: “I’m not sure if I follow.”

    Me: “Well, sir, say you come to my house so I can wash your car, but you ride your bicycle. Well since your car isn’t there, that means I can’t wash it.”

    Caller: “Oh, I get it now…I think.”

    Me: “Great, is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Caller: “So, you all have to wash my car to do it. That’s why it has to be there!”

    Sins Of The Father, Part 2

    | Kalamazoo, MI, USA | Family & Kids, Religion, Technology

    (My dad builds websites from home, but when’s he’s out I answer his office phone and take notes for him. I am a 20 year old female, and my father is a 55 year old male.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [my father]’s office, how may I help you”

    Customer: “Hello, I need to ask you a question about this design template.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. My dad isn’t in right now but I can take a message.”

    Customer: “Oh, good heavens! You know, you sound exactly like your father.”

    Me: “Okay?”

    Customer: “Are you Christian?”

    Me: “No, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well that must be it then. All you heathens sound the same to me. Well, I’ll call back.” *hangs up*

    Related:
    Sins Of The Father

    Modern Technology Can Pass By In A Blur

    | Michigan, USA | Movies & TV

    Customer: “I had a question about this one movie.”

    Me: “Okay, what’s up?”

    Customer: “How blurry is it?”

    (I am surprised for a moment, but then think maybe she is referring to movies in 3D, sometimes those look a little blurry.)

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Well, it says here that it is blurry and if its too bad I do not want to rent it.”

    Me: “Oh, let me see it.”

    Customer: “Do you have any other copies?”

    Me: “Ma’am, this copy isn’t blurry. It is in Blu-Ray, the new format designed to replace DVD movies.”

    Customer: “Oh, alright.”

    Me: “Do you have a Blu-Ray player?”

    Customer: “What is that?”

    Me: “I’ll just grab a DVD copy of the movie for you.”

    Unfeasible Fees

    | Montreal, Canada | Crazy Requests, Money

    Customer: “I don’t like these hidden fees! You guys never told me I would have a fee for this!”

    Me: “Sorry sir, however we did send you documentation when you opened your account, and the fees were clearly explained.”

    Customer: “No one reads those! I shred the mail as soon as I receive it!”

    Me: “It’s also on our website if you’d like to have a look.”

    Customer: “I don’t have the computer. You can’t expect people to go online to search for your hidden fees. I bet if I go on the site, it won’t even be there!”

    Me: “If you’d like I can tell you all our fees over the phone right now, I’d be more than happy to.”

    Customer: “I don’t have time for that! Do I look like someone who has time for that?”

    Me: “Would you like me to remail you the agreement of the account? You’d receive it 5 business days.”

    Customer: “You’re not even listening, you’re an idiot! I told you, I shred my mail when I get it!”

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