Socially Acceptable

| Troy, NY, USA | Top

(The shop I work in has a TV that plays the news 24/7. It has picked up a story about a judge ruling that the Obama health care bill was unconstitutional.)

Customer: “Well good! It is unconstitutional! You can’t force anyone to get health care if they don’t want it. This country is becoming too socialist! We don’t need any socialist programs!”

Me: *avoiding the topic* “Your total comes to [total].”

Customer: “Alright, here you go.”

(The customer hands me her food stamps card.)

Udderly Ridiculous

| VA, USA | Top

(A young woman is ordering her breakfast.)

Me: “Would you like eggs as well?”

Customer: “No thanks, I’m trying to become a vegetarian and eggs come from cows.”

(Please note she had already ordered bacon.)

Taking His Sweet Time

| LaGrange, GA, USA | Uncategorized

(A mother is shopping with her 5 year old son is lagging behind.)

Mother: “C’mon! We’re in a hurry!”

Son: “Mama, I was looking at the chocolate pudding. You know, you’re not supposed to bother me while I’m looking at the chocolate pudding.”

Bridging The Gulf Of Stupidity

| Ft. Wayne, IN, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [golf store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Could you tell me the difference between American golf and Mexican golf?”

Me: “Mexican golf? I’m pretty sure golf is played the same around the world.”

Caller: “Well, I’ve heard them mention the ‘Golf of Mexico’ a few times on TV so I was wondering if it was any different.”

Customer Requests Can Be Unrealistic

| Wilmington, DE, USA | Top

(I work for a large retailer at a mall as a security guard which means wearing a dress shirt and tie with a jacket. As it’s the holiday shopping season it is impossible to find parking. I had just parked my car to go into work when I was approached by an older lady in her vehicle.)

Customer: “Excuse me young man, are you leaving?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I just got here.”

Customer: “Why are you all dressed up?”

Me: “Well, I work at the store over here.”

Customer: “So you’re not a real person? You should give me your spot.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You’re not a real person. You don’t need to park here like everyone else!”

Related:
Anatomically Correct Vs Politically Correct

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