Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
    (2,928 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    South Paw Prophecy

    | Gatineau, Quebec, Canada |

    Me: “Hello there, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I would like a refund on this item, please.”

    Me: “Ok, no problem sir.”

    (I start filling out a refund sheet.)

    Customer: “Oh! I see that you’re left handed!”

    Me: “Yep!”

    Customer: “I pity you….”

    Me: “Um…and why should I be pitied, exactly?”

    Customer: “How long did your parents live?”

    Me: “Er…both of my parents are very much alive, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh? What about your grandparents?”

    Me: “I saw them a few days ago. They’re alive too, and in great
    health.”

    Customer: “How old are they?”

    Me: *telling him their ages* “They’re in great shape.”

    Customer: “Then you will die at the age of 70!”

    Me: “Here’s your refund, sir….”

    Customer: “I wish it weren’t so…good luck to you.”

    Me: “Ok…”

    Always Imitated, Never Duplicated

    | Boston, MA, USA |

    Customer: “Do you have a copy of **** in stock?”

    Me: “Yes, we do. Would you like me to put it on hold for you?”

    Customer: “Yes. Also, I was emailed a coupon that I’d like to use to buy that book, but my printer is broken. Is there anything you can do?”

    Me: “Sure, just write down the coupon code and the amount you’ll be saving. As long as we can verify these two things in the system, our computers will allow the discount.”

    Customer: “Should I draw the bar code for you?”

    Me: “I’m sorry? Come again?”

    Customer: “Would it help if I drew the bar code?”

    Me: “No…the coupon code will do just fine.”

    Customer: “Thanks!”

    Petrol Perception

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    Customer: “Your pumps are a lot slower than they used to be. It never used to take this long to pump $20 of gas.”

    Me: “The pump speed hasn’t decreased; it just takes longer to get to $20 now that the price of gas is half what it used to be.”

    Customer: “Well, I wish it would go up again so I could fill up faster!”

    We Have Confirmation

    , | Newington, CT, USA |

    (Our credit card machine went down, and we started to make signs for the doors alerting the customers to this. Before the signs were up, I had to ring up a customer’s order.)

    Me: “The total is ****. I’m sorry; our credit card machine is down.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t see any signs!”

    Me: “The machine just broke five minutes ago while you were still in line. I was just telling my coworker to make signs a moment ago….”

    Customer: “I don’t have enough cash. How about debit?”

    Me: “Well, debit would use the same machine as the credit cards, but either way our store does not accept debit. Just cash today.”

    Customer: “How about a check?”

    Me: “Sorry, no personal checks. Just cash today.”

    Customer: *getting upset now* “Well, what do you expect me to do?”

    Me: “The last customer went next door to use the ATM to get cash.”

    Customer: “You’re being extremely rude, you know!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m just trying to explain to you that the credit card machine is down.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t listen!”

    Me: “…”

    Seek, And Ye Shall Find…Eventually

    , | Glasgow, Scotland |

    Customer: “Hi. Can I have a cappuccino please?”

    Me: “Uh …sorry ma’am, but you’re in a furniture store. We don’t sell coffee.”

    Customer: “I didn’t ask for coffee, I asked for a d**n cappuccino!”

    Me: “Well, we don’t sell those either.”

    Customer: *looking hurt* “Why not?”

    Me: “We sell furniture. Look around you….”

    Customer: *starts crying* “This is the fourth time this has happened on this street!” *runs out*

    (As it turns out, she’d gone into a clothing store, a pharmacy and a grocery store, just to find herself a cappuccino.)

    Page 1,873/2,153First...1,8711,8721,8731,8741,875...Last