Two Pillows On The Couch, Once Daily

| Richmond, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

(I need to make a new profile for the customer’s wife on our computer system, so the customer calls his wife.)

Customer, to wife: “Hello? What’s your card number? It’s for the prescription.”

(The customer relays the card number to me. I ask for her birthday.)

Customer, to wife: “When’s your birthday? No, of course I remember. It’s December 7th!”

(I hear his wife cry out loudly over the phone.)

Customer, to wife: “What? It’s September 22nd?!”

(The customer ends the conversation and hangs up the phone.)

Me: “Are you going to be alright when you go back?”

Customer, to me: “You should warn me next time you have to ask for her birthday.”

Too Many Chutes, Not Enough Ladders

| Fayetteville, NC, USA | Top

(The electricity went out for about 30 seconds in our department store. Shortly after the blackout, the following conversation took place.)

Customer #1: “It was weird how the power went out like that.”

Customer #2: “Yeah, but at least we weren’t in the elevator. Can you imagine?”

Customer #1: “Oh yeah, that would have been pretty bad. But not as bad as it would have been on the escalator.”

Customer #2: “The escalator?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, just think of how scary that would be! The escalator loses power and then woosh!” *makes a hand gesture to represent stairs going flat, becoming a slide*

Customer #2: “Oh yes, that would be awful!”

Customer #1: “I hope all the people who were on the escalator are okay.”

Customer #2: *shakes her head sadly* “Woosh…”

There’s No Such Thing As Half A Dozen Stupid Questions

| Walnut Creek, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, where can I find the manager?”

Me: “She’s in the cigar booth over there, with the hanging sign that says “Cigars”.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. What’s his name?”

Me: “Her name is Kat.”

Customer: “Ken?”

Me: “No, Kat.”

Customer: “Jack?”

Me: “No, Kat. Like the animal.”

Customer: “A woman?!”

Me: “Haha, yeah.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Where is she?”

Me: “The cigar booth.”

Customer: “The registers?”

Me: “No, the cigar booth.”

Customer: “The tasting area?”

Me: “Let me show you…”

The Quandaries of Laundry

| Illinois, USA | Uncategorized

(I am straightening a rack of clothes when I overhear two customers.)

Customer #1: *examines the tag on a shirt* “It says ‘Hand Wash Only’. If I buy this, could I borrow your hand washer?”

Customer #2: “I don’t think I own a hand washer.”

Customer #1: “Darn!” *puts the shirt back and walks away*

It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 5

| Louisiana, USA | Uncategorized

(I work as a tech support agent at a university. I receive a call from a woman working in another office, asking if she can direct a student to me to assist with setting up his email account. A minute later, I receive a call from a young man.)

Me: “[University] Computing Call Center.”

Caller: “Hi, I’m trying to get my password.”

Me: “Yes, sir. Did someone just call me about you?”

Caller, to people in his office: “Did somebody just call about me?”

Caller, to me: “Yes.”

Me: “Alright, sir, in order to determine your username and password, you’ll need to be in front of a computer. Are you at a computer now?”

Caller, to people in his office: “Am I at a computer?”

It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 4
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 3
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 2
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call

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