Loony Over A Loonie

| Ontario, Canada | At The Checkout, Canada, Top

(I am ringing out an American girl. Keep in mind Canada uses coins for $1 and $2.)

Me: “…and your change is $3.64. You have a wonderful day.”

Customer: “Excuse me, you didn’t give me the right change.”

Me: “Yes I did.”

Customer: “No you didn’t. You only gave me coins, no paper.”

Me: “Ma’am, we’re in Canada, and here we use coins.” *I hold up a $1 coin* “This is a loonie, and is worth $1.”

Customer: “What’s a Canada?”

That’s What He Thought

| London, UK | Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

(A young male customer is paying by card.)

Me: "We’re having problems with our machine at the moment, so when you put it in, just make sure you give it a good wiggle."

Customer: *mumbles* "That’s what she said."

Me: *I laugh*

Customer: "Oh God, did I say it out loud again?!"

Birthday Cele-Berations

| Elkhart, IN, USA | Politics, Uncategorized

Customer: “You don’t have much of a selection for ninetieth birthday parties.”

Me: “Not many people live that long. Most of our suppliers don’t carry anything past the sixtieth birthday decorations.”

Customer: “It’s all because of Obama, you know. With his health care system, they just put you out to pasture once you’re sixty-five, and that’s the end of you. He probably told everyone to stop selling things with eighty and ninety on it, so people won’t want to live as long.”

Her Phone’s Not Much To Look At

| London, UK | Family & Kids, Technology, Uncategorized

Customer: “This compensation thing means you can get a phone back, right? I shouldn’t even have to pay. It’s your fault my daughter doesn’t have a phone!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that Ma’am. Could you please tell me what happened and how it’s our fault? We’ll try to rectify it. Did it break for no reason?”

Customer: “Her teacher took it! She was texting me and the teacher confiscated it! She has no phone until they give it back.”

Me: “Most schools do operate a ban on cell-phones during school hours and inform the students. Ma’am, how is this our fault?”

Customer: “You lot told me when I bought it that it would be perfect for teenagers! There should be something to stop it being seen in school!”

Me: “And how do you suppose we do that?”

Customer: “You’re the techno-geeks, you should be able to make it invisible on and off or something! God! You just don’t work hard enough!” *stomps out angrily*

Eating Disorderly

| Wiltshire, UK | Bizarre, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

(A customer has just purchased some tickets and they’ve just been given their tickets.)

Customer: “Oh, before I go…if I eat my ticket, can you replace it?”

Me: “Uh, eat…your ticket?”

Customer: “Yes, I eat things, I can’t help myself.”

Me: “If you eat your ticket, then keep your receipt and we’ll be happy to replace your ticket.”

Customer: “Oh, okay thanks!”

(The customer walks away and then pauses and comes back to the ticket desk.)

Customer: “What if I eat my receipt and my ticket?”

Me: “Please don’t.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks!”

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