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    To Have And To Hang Up

    | MD, USA | Uncategorized

    (I’m speaking on the phone with my husband when a customer approaches me to check out. I don’t like to talk on the phone while with a customer, so I just hang up. My husband understands when this happens. He usually just waits for me to call back.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt your call!”

    Me: “It’s fine. It was just my husband. I’ll call him back.”

    Customer: *gasps* “No! You never hang up on your husband! Oh my gosh! I can’t believe you did that!” *turning to other customers in line* “She hung up on her husband! I can’t believe that!”

    Me: “No, really, it’s okay. I’ve done it before. He understands when a customer comes to my register.”

    Customer: *shouting* “You’ve done it before! Call him back right now and apologize!”

    Me: “I’ll just call him after.”

    Customer: “Now!”

    (She waits for me to literally dial his number and say ‘I’m sorry for hanging up on you’. She wouldn’t let me finish until I told him I loved him and hung up.)

    Customer: “See? That’s how you speak to him on the phone.”

    (I finish up with her and she leaves smiling. When I finally call my husband back for real, he can not stop laughing at me.)

    Taxing Faxing, Part 8

    | NY, USA | Technology, Uncategorized

    Me: “If you can fax me the paperwork by the end of the day, we can deliver it on Friday.”

    Customer: “I just have to run out and get some more ink for my printer. Hopefully, I’ll be back by 5 to send it.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you said you already had the form filled out. If you still need to print it, it might be a bit difficult to get it to us.”

    Customer: “No. I have it filled out. I can’t send a fax without ink!”

    Me: “That’s okay. We have ink in our printer, so it will still
    come though.”

    Customer: “You obviously know nothing about technology!”

    Related:
    Taxing Faxing, Part 7
    Taxing Faxing, Part 6
    Taxing Faxing, Part 5
    Taxing Faxing, Part 4
    Taxing Faxing, Part 3
    Taxing Faxing, Part 2
    Taxing Faxing

    No ID, No Idea, Part 5

    | CT, USA | Uncategorized

    (A teenage customer is trying to buy a cell phone. He has an out of state ID which appears fake. It is brought to me to check it.)

    Me: “We can’t accept this ID. It’s not valid.”

    Customer: “Can you tell me what’s wrong with it compared to a real one, so I’ll know for next time?”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 4
    No ID, No Idea, Part 3
    No ID, No Idea, Part 2
    No ID, No Idea

    After Sickness It Is Best To Re-coupon-ate

    | Albany, NY, USA | Top

    (The customer hands me a coupon that has been expired for five months.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. This coupon expired back in June.”

    Customer: “I know. I was diagnosed with cancer and I went to Europe for four months for experimental treatment.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. I do hope your health is improving. Unfortunately, I still can’t accept this coupon. Even if it wasn’t expired, it can’t be used on sale items.”

    Customer: “This is a load of s***! You’re going to penalize me for having cancer?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. There is nothing I can do.”

    Customer: “Don’t give me that crap. I’m going to call my lawyer. You can’t discriminate against me because I have cancer.”

    Me: “Sir, there is nothing I can do. The system won’t allow me to override sales.”

    Customer: “Let me speak to [name of manager].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. He’s not in today. I can call another manager.”

    Customer: “I know he’s here! You’re just not telling me because he’ll make you give me the discount. I am not leaving until I speak to him.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but [manager] is not here today. Five months ago, they discovered he had a brain tumor. When they operated on him, it caused a brain bleed and he had a stroke.”

    *awkward silence*

    Customers wife: “Well, I bet you feel like an a** now! Trying to use cancer as an excuse!”

    Barcode Overload

    | Bonita Springs, FL, USA | Uncategorized

    (A customer is in my line with a large box. I lean over and hold my hand scanner upside-down to reach it.)

    Customer: “Wow! You can scan barcodes upside down now? Technology these days!”

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