Articulated Truck Drivers Aren’t Articulate

| Massachusetts, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

(A truck driver walks up to desk and stares at wall behind me.)

Me: “Can…I help you?”

Driver: “Yeaaaaa…” *waits ten seconds, looks behind him, looks back at me, waits another 5 seconds* “I don’t have my shipment numbers.”

Me: “Well, where are they?”

Driver: “They’re in the truck.”

Me: “They’re in the truck?”

Driver: “Yup.”

Me: “So you left the truck with the numbers inside, walked all the way through the property, and up to my desk to tell me you left the numbers in the truck?”

Driver: “Yeaaaaaaa.” *stares at the wall again*

Me: “You want to go get them?”

Driver: “Get what?”

Me: “Are you filming this?”

Emergency Disservice

| Indiana, USA | Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

(I am a Community Assistant. When a resident has a problem with their apartment they have to call the CA Duty phone. However, today is labor day and it’s my day off.)

Resident: “I have a emergency at my apartment!”

Me: “How can I help you sir?”

Resident: “There was a bee’s nest in my roof, but now the bees have come through a crack in the ceiling! My apartment is full of bees!”

Me: “Sir, I would recommend that you call some sort of animal services, but I can’t help you.”

Resident: “Well, why not? Doesn’t the apartment have some sort of procedure for this type of situation?”

Me: “Well, it’s Labor Day and my day off. Plus, you’re supposed to call me for maintenance issues, not insects.”

Resident: “You can’t take the day off! What if there was a medical emergency on a holiday!”

Me: “Then I hope you would call 911.”

Resident: “Don’t they have the day off, too?”

Touchscreen Has-beens

| Nottingham, UK | Technology, Uncategorized

(Myself and another colleague are talking to two elderly ladies.)

Lady #1: “You could just help us with one more thing.”

Lady #2: “You see that red button in the corner of the screen?”

(They indicate the interactive red button that accesses extra services, which you press on your remote.)

Me: “Yes?”

Lady #1: “Well the TV says to press it and nothing happens. Actually, lets see if it works now!”

(Lady 1 presses the red button and nothing happens. I immediately see the problem.)

Lady #1: “You see! Your TVs are broken too!”

Lady #2: “Oh, it’s working now.”

Me: “I’ve just pressed the red button on the remote. Not on the screen.”

If Only They Ran On Hot Air

| Wisconsin, USA | Extra Stupid, Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like to ask someone about my watches. It’s not working right. I think it’s broken.”

Me: “Oh. Yes, the second hand doesn’t seem to be moving much. The battery is probably dying.”

Customer: “But my husband bought this for me!”

Me: “Well, we don’t sell batteries here, but I–”

Customer: “He just bought it here!”

Me: “Do you see another one like it in the display?”

Customer: “No! But I’ve only been wearing it for a month or two!”

Me: “It does look like it’s the battery because the hands are still moving, just not moving on time. It would be unusual for our batteries to die that soon. Do you have the original receipt?

Customer: “Why would I have that? He bought it 3 or 4 years ago!

Me: “Oh. If he bought the watch 3 or 4 years ago, then it probably is the battery.”

Customer: “But I’ve only been wearing it for a month or two!”

Me: “If it was purchased several years ago, the battery has been running for several years.”

Customer: “But why would it run when I’m not wearing it?!”

No Happy Ending

| Orlando, FL, USA | Books & Reading, Liars & Scammers, Uncategorized

(A customer brings a book up to the counter, but the front cover is torn off, along with some pages.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry ma’am. I’m not sure why a book in this condition was on the shelf. Let me go get a new one.”

Customer: “No, it’s ok. I did it.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I already read the first part. I just wanted to buy the ending.”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “Do I get a discount? It’s only half the book.”

Page 1,867/2,627First...1,8651,8661,8671,8681,869...Last