Identity TV Determined

| Wasaga Beach, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “Are you on the show [T.V. show]?”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “You know the show [T.V. show]? Are you on it? Cause you really look like a character on it.”

Me: “No, I am sorry I am not.”

Customer: “Are you lying to me? I am pretty sure you are that girl from [T.V. show]!”

Me: “No, I work at [coffee shop], not on a television show.”

(This went on until my manager had to step in.)

Manager: *sarcastically* “Yes she is on [T.V. show], she just likes to fly hundreds of kilometers back to Wasaga to work at [coffee shop] because she needs extra money.”

Customer: “I knew it!”

(Later on, she brought her boyfriend back and tried to convince me to give her an autograph.)

It’s Late When It’s Son-Down

| Spokane, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(A woman and her pre-teen son approach the counter.)

Son: “I want both of these movies!”

Mother: “We will have to see. I don’t have a lot of cash and we might have late fees.”

Son: “God! Mom you are so dumb! I can’t believe you forgot to take back the d*** movies!”

Me, to mother: “If your late fees are too much, we will also accept your first born in payment.”

Concentrate Harder

| CT, USA | Uncategorized

(I am at a sample station of apple cider.)

Customer: “Oh, apple cider!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Would you like to try some?”

(At this point the customer picks up the bottle.)

Customer: “Oh, it’s not from concentrate. That means I can try some! I’m allergic to apples, you know.”

Misunderstood Comic Strip

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Uncategorized

(Two middle aged women approach me.)

Customer 1: “Excuse me? Can you help me find something?”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. What are you looking for? Gift ideas maybe?”

Customer 1: “Yes exactly, I need a present that will interest a 14 year old boy.”

Customer 2: *interjecting* “But not porn!”

Me: “I think I can accommodate those taxing conditions.”

What She Needs Is A Skynet

| Flagstaff, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hello, I have a problem. My computer doesn’t do anything.”

Me: “You mean that it doesn’t turn on?”

Customer: “It turns on just fine, but then it doesn’t do anything after that.

Me: “So you mean that after turning on, you simply get a blank creen?”

Customer: “No, it shows the manufacturer’s logo for a moment, then it says ‘loading’.”

Me: “And it just gets stuck there, then?”

Customer: “No. After that there’s a picture of a green field and a blue sky.”

Me: “Well, that’s the default desktop. That all sounds right.”

Customer: “But it doesn’t do anything! I’ve left it for hours and hours and nothing will happen once it gets there!”

Me: “So even if you click on an icon or a button or try to move the mouse, there’s no response? Could you try to be a little more specific about the problem?”

Customer: “Mouse? Icons? Why would I try to click on anything?! My friend told me this thing could do my taxes and my homework but it just sits there all day and doesn’t do anything!”

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