Third Time Is Not Charming

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Top

(I work in a ground level office, and am usually the only one working within view of both the front and back doors.)

Customer: *coming in from the back hallway* “Hello, I’m here for my appointment.”

Me: “With who?”

Customer: “With [Name].”

Me: “I think you’re in the wrong office.”

Customer: “Oh, terribly sorry.” *goes back down to the backdoor, and reappears from the front door a few minutes later* “Hello, I’m here to see [Name] for my appointment?”

Me: “Ma’am, this is the same office. You have to go down the stairs in the parking lot to get to [Company Name]. They’re on the basement level.”

Customer: “Oh! That explains it, thank you!” *heads out the front door again, but wanders back down the back hallway almost immediately*

Me: “Still in the wrong place, ma’am. You need to go downstairs.”

Customer: *scowling and glaring* “You’re much less polite than the other two boys!”

Stupidity That Makes You Go Wow

| Henderson, NV, USA | Funny Names, Technology

Customer: “I wanted to know about SEO. What’s that?”

Me: “SEO is Search Engine Optimization. In a nutshell, I can help you to get noticed by search engines.”

Customer: “So, you’re SEO are you? I want to meet him.”

Me: “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

Customer: “SEO is the name of a friend of mine in World of Warcraft. Are you him? Hey! How are you? I didn’t know you did web sites!”

Fauxxx Pas

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Funny Names, Rude & Risque

Customer: “Hi, do you have coitus?”

Me: *pause* “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Coitus! Do you have coitus?!”

Me: “Alright, sir, I really hope I’m understanding you wrong, so I need you to say what you want a bit slower.”

(He thinks for a long time, then slowly says the word, drawing out every letter.)

Customer: “Curtains?”

How To Ensure A Blanc Stare

| Ypsilanti, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Spouses & Partners, Top

(A elderly couple come through my counter with some wine.)

Me: *joking around* “Are you sure you two are old enough to have this tonight?” *holds up wine*

Customer: “Kid, I have underwear old enough to buy that.”

Customers Wife: *laughs hysterically*

Actions Point Louder Than Words

| Virginia, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

Father: “Hi, I’m here to drop off my son.”

(I notice there is another child with him, who is of Asian descent.)

Me: “Is this other child yours too?”

Father: “Oh no, he’s a foreign exchange student from Japan.”

Me: “Oh! That’s nice. Does he speak English?”

Father: “No, none at all, actually.”

Me: “Well, does your son speak Japanese?”

Father: “Not a lick.”

Me: “How are we supposed to communicate with him? This is an outdoor camp, sir. He could get hurt if he can’t understand directions.”

Father: “I’m sure you’ll be fine. Just point a lot.”

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Shogun The Way To Go Home

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