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  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
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    It’s All In The Details

    | Noord-Brabant, Netherlands |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hello, I had a High Tea a few days ago at your place. Could I speak to your manager?”

    Me: “Yes, but perhaps I could help you as well?”

    Customer: “No, I would like to speak with your manager.”

    Me: “All right, one moment please.” *hands over the phone to the manager*

    Manager: “Hello, what could I help you with?”

    Customer: “I’m sorry, but I really have to complain about this: a few days ago we had this High Tea at your place, but the napkins weren’t good.”

    Manager: “What was wrong with the napkins?”

    Customer: “The napkins weren’t folded like in the photograph in the restaurant information folder we got.”

    Manager: Uh…I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “They weren’t folded like in the picture!”

    Manager: “Was there anything else that didn’t go well?”

    Customer: *pauses* “No, the rest of it was actually wonderful. The cakes and sandwiches were lovely, and the service was really good. There was nothing wrong with that.”

    Manager: “…”

    When In Doubt, Improvise

    | Darien Center, NY, USA | Top

    (Some days when there aren’t enough lifeguards, we have to close off the deep end of the wave pool – but, we aren’t allowed to tell guests that reason.)

    Customer: “What’s with the buoy line?”

    Me: “It’s there to keep you from entering the deep end.”

    Customer: “Well, duh! Why is it there?”

    Me: “Oh, the deep end is closed right now.”

    Customer: “That’s so f****** stupid! There’s no reason the deep end should be closed!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. The water is…broken.”

    Customer: “Oh, sorry then. Have a nice day.”

    Clarity Is Key

    | Michigan, USA |

    Me: “Hi sir, how are you today? Is there something I can get for you?”

    Customer: “Fish.”

    Me: “Well, you sure came to the right place. What kind of fish would you like?”

    Customer: “Dead fish.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer Of The Week: The Smoker

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Old Comics

    Customer Of The Week:  The Smoker
    Created by our friends at Quitting Time

    Original Story

    Lost In Translation

    | Seattle, WA, USA |

    Me: “Hello, this is Classifieds, can I help you?”

    Customer: *with a heavy accent* “Yays, I put een an ad, and eet sayes ‘peacock truck’ but eet should be ‘peacock truck’.”

    Me: “The ad says ‘peacock truck’, but it should be ‘peacock truck’? I don’t understand the difference. Did they get the color wrong or something?”

    Customer: “No, no, peacock – eet ees not a color, eet ees a peacock, a peacock truck!” *starts swearing in Spanish*

    Me: “Sir, is there anyone else there who might be able to talk to me? I’m sorry; I can’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.”

    Customer: “Eet is seemple, eet ees a peacock truck – Pee, uh, ee, ee, uh…”

    Me: “Sir…are you trying to spell ‘pickup’? Is it a pickup truck you’re selling?”

    Customer: ‘Yays, yays, eet ees a peacock truck, like I say before.”

    Me: “Right, sir, I’ll fix that for you. We’ll run the ad for two days extra, to make up for lost time”.

    Customer: “Thank you. Goodbye.” *hangs up*

    (I receive another call later that day.)

    Me: “Hello, this is Classifieds, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I went to look at this truck that was advertised in your paper, and it wasn’t what they said it was. It’s false advertising!”

    Me: “What was the problem? What was wrong?”

    Customer: ‘Well, the ad said it was a peacock truck, and I love that color. We went to see it, and it was black! That’s not peacock!”

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