Retired & Extremely Dangerous

| Georgia, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for call [Pharmacy], may I help you?”

Elderly Female Customer: “I would like to get these two of my medications refilled and I want to pick them up tomorrow afternoon.”

Me: “Okay ma’am, that will be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Elderly Female Customer: “Honey, you can come to my house and do me anytime.”

Me: “I, uh, oh, uh…”

Elderly Female Customer: “I hope I didn’t offend you, but I’m old so I can say things like that!”

Freudian (Pay) Slip

| Latham, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(I am ringing up a mother and her son.)

Me: “Alright, ma’am, your total is $**.**.”

Son: “Wow, that is so much money! You’re taking all my momma’s money!”

Me: “Actually, your mother is paying for the items that she just purchased, and I’m not the one who gets the money anyways.”

Son: “Do you think I’m dumb? You get all the money; why else would you be here?”

Me: “The money that is paid here is made by the company. I’m here because the company pays me to check out customers.”

Son: “That’s stupid. You should get to keep the money.”

(As I’m about to respond, the mother chimes in.)

Mother: “Just ignore him, he’s stupid.”

The Pen Is Mightier Than The Brain

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “I’m about to give you your account number. Do you have a pen handy?”

Caller: “What’s a pen-handy?”

Popcon

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

(A customer walks up holding a large red bag of popcorn to be refilled.)

Customer: “Hi, could I please get a refill?”

Me: “Did you buy this popcorn today?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Oh, that’s weird because we stopped selling these popcorn bags a month ago. We have black bags now.”

Customer: “Oh…”

Very Low Key Driver

| Norway, Europe | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

Caller: “Hi, I need help to open my car. The beeper doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay, have you tried to see if the keys work?”

Caller: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The car keys. They’re attached to the beeper.”

Caller: “Uh… how do I use them?”

Me: “Just like you would unlock anything that’s closed.”

Caller: “I don’t understand. I need to open the door to my car. How do I use keys to do that?”

Me: “You uh… put the key in the keyhole, turn it around and open the door.”

Caller: *pause* “Oh! Do you mean like the same way you
open the door to a house?”

Me: “Yes, it’s quite similar to that.”

Caller: *very enthusiastic* “Wow, okay! I’ll try that! If that doesn’t work, I’ll call right back!”

Page 1,866/2,621First...1,8641,8651,8661,8671,868...Last