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    Make The Seat-Save Run In Less Than 12 Parsecs

    Houston, TX, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (This is at a midnight showing when a new Star Wars movie was released.)

    Me: "When the doors open please go in and take your seats. You will not be allowed to save seats for people further back in line."

    (Customer waves his hand in the air like a Jedi.)

    Customer: "You will let us save seats."

    Telling A Tall Tale

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

    (I work on a ride with a height restriction of 1.3 metres, and I have just rejected a young girl who was well under the restriction when her father storms up to me.)

    Customer: “Why the h*** did you say my daughter couldn’t come on your ride? She’s been queuing for nearly an hour!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the height restrictions are clearly stated in the brochure that you’re holding and at the beginning of the queuing area for the ride.”

    Customer: “I’ve paid for her to come into this park and you’re telling me she can’t go on the rides?”

    Me: “Sir, there are plenty of rides that she can go on that have lower height restrictions, but unfortunately she’s too small for this one.”

    Customer: “Well, she was tall enough last year!”

    Directionless Call

    | Rockledge, FL, USA | Bizarre, Uncategorized

    Me: *answering phone* "How may I direct your call?"

    *silence*

    Me: "Hello?"

    (After repeating this a few times, I hear fumbling on the other end.)

    Caller: "Hello?"

    Me: "Hello, sir. How may I direct your call?"

    Caller: "I’m sorry, you’ve got the wrong number."

    Me: "But…you called me."

    One Scamwich, Coming Right Up, Part 2

    | Ontario, Canada | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Uncategorized

    (I’m supervising on a Sunday afternoon, our slowest day of the week. We’ve only been open a couple hours and have only made maybe 4 or 5 sandwiches. A customer calls in with a complaint.)

    Caller: “Excuse me, I ordered a sandwich from you this morning and it is just terrible! You toasted it too much and it just fell apart when I bit into it!”

    Me: “Well that’s odd, sir. If a sandwich was toasted too long it would normally burn long before it would dry out like that. What did you order?”

    Caller: “Chicken.”

    Me: “I can’t find your order in the system. Could you tell me what time you were here?”

    Caller: “This morning sometime.”

    Me: “We weren’t open this morning, sir. We open at noon on Sundays.”

    Caller: “Well, maybe it was after noon then.”

    Me: “Okay, well I’ve been here all day and I don’t recall serving a chicken sandwich to a gentleman today.”

    Caller: “It was my wife who came in.”

    Me: “I’m looking through today’s orders on the computer, and I haven’t served any chicken sandwich today. Are you sure you came to this location?”

    Caller: “Yes. And it was last night. I talked to the manager and he said you’d give me a free sandwich today.”

    Me: “I was the manager last night too, sir.”

    Caller: “You’re not going to give me a free sandwich, are you?”

    Me: “No, sir. I’m not.”

    Caller: “Okay, then.” *hangs up*

    Related:
    One Scamwich, Coming Right Up

    Can I Have Some Nuts With That

    | Annapolis Valley, NS, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Funny Names, Uncategorized

    (The customer spends several minutes staring at a selection of fudge, trying to decide which one she wants. Her daughter is standing in line with her.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a piece of caramel chocolate squirrel.”

    Me: “Um…”

    Daughter: “Mooommm!”

    Customer: “What?”

    Daughter: “It’s chocolate caramel swirl! I don’t think we want a chocolate caramel squirrel.”

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