November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Pay The Price And Face The Music

| Langley, BC, Canada | Books & Reading, Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

(A customer is placing an order for sheet music over the phone.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Customer: “I need books.”

Me: “What are you looking for?”

(The customer lists off three more items, all of which need to be ordered).

Me: “I can order those for you. However, the store requires a full deposit on sheet music orders.”

Customer: “Okay. How much is the last book? The Three Sonatas?”

(The Three Sonatas is a collection of various sonatas by a specific composer.)

Me: “$34.95.”

Customer: “I just need one, though.”

Me: “Unfortunately they’re not printed separately. It’s only available in this collection.”

Customer: “It’s too expensive.”

Me: “Then you don’t want me to order it?”

Customer: “I need it.”

Me: “So I’ll order it.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “No?”

Customer: “I need it. But you give me a discount.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “You order book. I’ll cut out the music I want, and pay discount.”

Never Judge A DVD By Its Cover

| USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, what movie did that other customer just turn in?”

Me:Book of Eli. Would you like to rent it?”

Customer: “A book? No, I don’t want no book. I hate reading!”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. Book of Eli is the title of the movie.”

Customer: “I don’t like books.”

Customer’s friend: “It’s not a book, it’s a movie.”

Customer: “Well, I bet it’s based on a book, and I hate books!”

Death By A-Salt

| Ontario, Canada | At The Checkout, Spouses & Partners, Top

Customer: “I checked your flyer and it said that [Major Brand] margarine was on sale this week.”

Me: “I don’t believe so, but I will check our flyer to see.”

(As I’m flipping through the pages she stops when she sees an advertisement for a sale.)

Customer: “See, right there. It says save $2.98.”

Me:”I’m sorry, ma’am, but it says save $2.98 when you buy [Company Brand] Margarine, not [Major Brand].”

Customer: “Oh, well my husband needs the salt-free kind, and [Company Brand] doesn’t make a salt-free.”

Me: “Well that’s not the one that’s on sale.”

Customer: “Well he needs a salt-free kind.”

Me: “Well, then you’ll have to buy the [Major Brand] one.”

Customer: “But it’s not on sale, and he needs a salt-free.”

Me: “Yes, I heard you ma’am, but if [Company Brand], doesn’t make a salt free margarine, then you will have to buy the [Major Brand].”

Customer: “You don’t understand. My husband needs a salt-free margarine. If he has a normal margarine, it will spike his sodium and he’ll die.”

Me: “Then you’ll have to buy the [Major Brand].”

Customer: “But it’s not on sale.”

Me: “Well, there’s nothing I can do about it, ma’am.”

Customer: “You really don’t care anything about my husband’s health, do you? You don’t care that he could die so easily do you?”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s not that I don’t care. You can buy the salt-free [Major Brand].”

Customer: “But that margarine isn’t on sale! You are just going to stand there and murder my husband!”

Aisle Be Watching You, Part 2

| Montana, USA | Bizarre, Uncategorized

Customer: “I’m looking for horseradish.”

(I take her to the condiment section, where there are seven different kinds of horseradish.)

Customer: “No, it’s not any of these.”

Me: “Is it a refrigerated product?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know.”

Me: “Well, this is the only place I know of where we stock horseradish.”

(A few moments later, the customer finds me again.)

Customer: “I know where it is. But I’m not going to tell you. You need to figure it out on you own.”

Aisle Be Watching You

Kids Movies Cost An Arm And A Leg

| Estonia | Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

(A mother and her young daughter approach the counter. She puts down Princess Mononoke and begins to get out her card.

Me: “I’d just like to point out while this is an excellent movie, it’s probably
something you’d be uncomfortable with your daughter watching.”

Customer: “Why? It’s just a princess cartoon!”

Me: “It’s actually quite violent, it deals with a lot of complex subjects, and has scenes with realistic sword fights, there’s several dismemberments in the first few minutes. But I can recommend several other movies by the same animation studio that both of you could enjoy.”

Customer: *slightly taken aback* “Um, yes, that sounds like a good idea, I wouldn’t want her to be scared.”

Customer’s daughter: *to me* “What’s a dismem-peppermint?”

Customer: “Don’t answer that!”