• A Pain In The Nugget
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    Not-So-Fast Forward

    | United Kingdom | Uncategorized

    (I sell cable TV packages, and talk the caller through set-up. Our service offers a service where you can record programs and pause and rewind TV.)

    Caller: “And can it fast-forward live TV?”

    Me: “Um, no, it can’t.”

    Caller: “I would have thought it could, since it can pause and rewind live TV.”

    Me: “Fast-forwarding live TV is a bit different.”

    Caller: “Forget I said that.”

    The Unfantastic Mr. Fox

    | United Kingdom | Uncategorized

    (A man comes up to me with a huge bag.)

    Customer: “Can I ask an odd question?”

    Me: “Go for it.”

    Customer: “Would it be okay for me to put my fox costume on and stand in the foyer?”

    Me: “Why?”

    Customer: “Just for pleasure. I enjoy doing it and the customers would enjoy seeing it.”

    Me: “I’ll just check with my manager.”

    (I phone the manager and repeat the request. The manager laughs for a few minutes and says no.)

    Me: “I’m afraid my manager has said it’s not okay.”

    Customer: *looks down sadly* “It’s okay. They said no everywhere else I asked too.” *walks away sadly, dragging the bag with his fox costume in*


    | Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

    (I have just gotten my first job, at age 16. I am a clerk in a gas station that mostly sells gas and cigarettes.)

    Customer: “Oh, hey [my name], I didn’t know you worked here.”

    Me: “Yeah, I just started a couple weeks ago. What can I get you?”

    Customer: “Can I get a pack of cigarettes?”

    Me: “We were in grade 8 together, and I’m only 16. I’m pretty sure I can’t sell you those.”

    Customer: “Yeah I like, failed a lot of grades. I’m 19 now.”

    Me: “Really? Can I see your ID then?”

    Customer: “I…I think I’ll try the 7/11 down the street.”

    A Complete Avatard

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Do you have any copies of that new Avatar movie?”

    Me: “Sorry it looks like it’s not available anywhere right now. I could call you when a copy comes in if you like.”

    Customer: “You didn’t check the back room. Do you have any there?”

    Me: “No, we don’t keep movies in the back. Company policy says we have to have all available copies on the shelf.”

    Customer: “So, why don’t you have any on the shelf?”

    Me: “Because we’re all checked out. There are none present at this store or any other in this area. It’s an extremely popular movie since it just came out a few days ago. We have no more copies at any nearby store.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Well, they all got checked out by other people.”

    Customer: “Well, why the h*** did you let them do that? What kind of video store lets people just take whatever movie they want?!”

    Learn Your Acronyms ASAP

    | Melbourne, Australia | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Excuse me miss, do you have those movies on circles?”

    Me: “Do you mean DVDs?”

    Customer: “Yes that’s it, VDVs, do you have those?”

    Me: “Yes, right over here.”

    (I leave the customer to browse and she comes back with a stack of DVDs to borrow).

    Customer: “They’re good aren’t they, VDVs?”

    Me: “Yes, they are. Very clear.”

    Customer: “Yes, I love them. I can’t believe I waited so long to get a nice VD player.”

    (I finish the loans and hand the customer her DVDs. As she’s leaving she sees a friend walking in).

    Customer: “Oh! Cynthia! You need to come over for coffee, I finally got a VD!”

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