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    Make That A Triple Non-Fat Sexy Latte

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada |

    (A woman walks into the coffee shop and orders a latte with “sexy” foam. I make what I thought was a latte with really “sexy” foam.)

    Customer: “F***! This isn’t right.¬†I want it with really sexy foam.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (I make her another, with lots of really thick foam.)

    Customer: “No, no! Sexy foam, really sexy foam!”

    Me: “Okay, so less?”

    Customer: “No, you know… sexy! Sexy foam!”

    (I make her a third drink. This time less foam and more milk.)

    Customer: “You don’t get it! I want sexy foam. Really sexy foam!”

    Me: *giving up* “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!”

    If That Doesn’t Work, Try Hogwarts

    , | Manchester, UK |

    Customer: “Oi you! I need a coat and it’s not here!”

    Me: “Certainly miss, do you have the catalogue number?”

    Customer: “No! I’ve told you it’s not here!”

    Me: “Okay, describe it.”

    Customer: “I want one that will keep me dry and warm in winter, but cool in summer.”

    Me: “Sorry, we don’t stock magic coats.”

    Customer: “Well, where could I f***ing find one like it?!”

    Me: “… Narnia?”

    What’s A Synonym For Thesaurus

    | Atlanta, GA, USA |

    Me: “Hi, ma’am, can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “Yes, I need a synonym finder.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “A synonym finder… you know?”

    Me: “Oh, you mean a thesaurus?”

    Customer: “Yeah!”

    How Nicknames Are Born, Part 2

    | Berkshire County, MA, USA |

    Customer: “Hey, can you tell me where the rope is? I’ve been looking all over for it, but can’t seem to find it.”

    Me: “Oh, yeah it’s just over this way.”

    (I lead him to the hardware aisle, and halfway down there’s a big sign that says “Ropes” with a picture of a rope on it.)

    Me: “Right down there.¬†There’s actually a sign there that says ‘Ropes’.”

    Customer: “You’re f***ing douche bag, you know that?!”

    Me: *laughs, thinking he’s joking*

    Customer: “That was intentional, and I WILL talk to your manager!”

    Me: “I apologize–”

    Customer: “Anytime you wanna come to my house, you just lemme know, Dingleballs!”

    (And from that day forward, my nickname at work was “Dingleballs”.)

    Related:
    How Nicknames Are Born

    The Trouble With Seeing In Black And White

    | Halifax, NS, Canada |

    Caller: “I need to exchange this movie. It’s the wrong one.”

    Me: “Which movie were you looking for?”

    Caller:Big Momma’s House.”

    Me: “Um, what does it say on the case?”

    Caller:Big Momma’s House.”

    Me: “What does it say on the video cassette itself?”

    Caller:Big Momma’s House.”

    Me: “I’m thinking you have Big Momma’s House there, Ma’am.”

    Caller: “But…”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Caller: “But… there’s white people in it.”

    Me: “There are a few of us about, ma’am. We do sneak into the odd movie here and there.”

    Caller: *click*

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