Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
    (3,215 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    The Tiny Flaw In An Otherwise Brilliant Plan

    | Marietta, GA, USA |

    (I work at customer service and this lady could not return a lamp because it was past our 90-day return policy.)

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, the transaction for the lamp does not show up on your credit card. Has it been more than 90 days?”

    Customer: “No, I dont think so! Try it again.”

    (I try two more times and sure enough, the same thing happens.)

    Me: “Ma’am, if you bought the lamp more than 90 days ago, it does not show up in our system anymore. We can do a store credit return if you would like, but you would get the lowest price which is about $3 less.”

    Customer: “Fine. It was 92 days ago! Now can I return it?”

    Me: “I cannot do that. That purchase is not in our system anymore and the computer will only allow me to give you store credit at that price.”

    (A long argument ensues and I tell her the same things.)

    Customer: “Well, you know what? I’m going to buy this lamp again and then use THAT receipt to return it!”

    Me: “Why would you want to do that? You would technically own two and then you’re returning one. It makes no difference.”

    Customer: “Then I’ll buy a NEW one and use that receipt to return my broken one!”

    Me: “I cannot allow you to do that. I am the supervisor and would have to report that sort of potential activity to our store security and managers.”

    Customer: “How did you know what I’m going to do?!”

    Me: “…um, because you just told me?”

    Unlimited Food, Limited Intelligence

    | Delaware, USA |

    (I’ve just served the customers their unlimited salad bowl…)

    Customer: “Well, where’s my salad?”

    Me: “The bowl on the table is for everyone to share. That’s why I brought everyone their own salad plates.”

    Customer: “Yes, but where is my bowl of salad? Don’t I get my own?”

    Me: “Well, it’s supposed to be served family style where everyone eats from the same bowl.”

    Customer: “So, they are trying to cheat me out of my salad.”

    Me: “Well, it’s an unlimited salad bowl so you get unlimited free refills.”

    Customer: *turns to his wife* “See, that’s where they get you. There’s always a catch…”

    Me: “Just let me know if you need more salad…”

    With Thought, Care And Testosterone

    | Rockaway Beach, OR, USA |

    Female Conference Attendee: “Where’s the cook? This food is amazing, and I want to give my regards to the cook.”

    Me: “That’s great to hear – if you wait a moment, I’ll get him out of the back.”

    (I return with the cook.)

    Me: “This is ****, and he is our head cook.”

    Attendee: *looking behind the head cook* “No, seriously – where’s the cook? I need to talk with her.”

    Cook: “Ma’am, I am the cook. How can I help you?”

    Attendee: *looking askance* “You are NOT the cook. You cannot BE the cook. The food here is so wonderful, so full of love – it MUST be cooked by a woman.”

    Cook: “All right, you caught us. The real cook has her day off today. We’ll thank her when she gets back tomorrow.”

    Attendee: “Yes, you will.” *muttering as she walks away* “Men who cook…sheesh.”

    Pre-Pre-Pre-School

    | California, USA |

    Me: *on the phone* “Good afternoon, this is **** School.”

    Caller: “Hi, I need to see if I can get my son into your school?”

    Me: “All right, that’s easy. Come over anytime next week, when we’ll be taking applications.”

    Caller: “Can you fax it to me?”

    Me: “No, I can’t, but you can print it out from our website, along with all the information there. Is that Ok?”

    Caller: “Yeah…”

    Me: “We only accept applicants for 7th through 9th grade from this school district, just to let you know.”

    Caller: “Oh, what is your district?”

    Me: “**** high school district.”

    Caller: “Oh, where is that?”

    Me: “**** and its neighboring cities.”

    Caller: “Oh. That’s where we’re moving.”

    Me: “You don’t live in the district?”

    Caller: “No, we live in New Jersey. We’re going to move to California so my son can go there.”

    Me: “…ma’am, I’m afraid that you need to live within the district to put in an application.”

    Caller: “Yes, we’re moving there.”

    Me: “You need to be in the district when you put in the application.”

    Caller: “When are applications due?”

    Me: “They’re due the third week of January through the second week of February.”

    Caller: “Oh. We’re not moving for a little while.”

    Me: “Yes…you need a copy of a gas or electricity bill so we can verify your address is in the district. If I may ask, ma’am, what grade is your son in?”

    Caller: “Oh, he doesn’t go to school.”

    Me: “…”

    Caller: “My son will be one year old in a few weeks!”

    Paint By Dumbers

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA |

    (I work in the crafts department of a very large retail store. A customer walks over and hands me a small bottle of white craft paint.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, is this white paint?”

    Me: “…yes.”

    Customer: “Oh. How can you tell what color it is?”

    Me: “The bottle is see-through. The color you see on the bottle is the actual paint.”

    Customer: “Oh, I see. I’m sorry. I’ve never done crafts before.”

    Me: “That’s fine, I understand.”

    Customer: “So, how do I use this? Is the brush inside the bottle?”

    Me: “No…you have to buy the brush separately.”

    Customer: “So it’s not in there?”

    Me: “No. Paint brushes are a lot bigger than that bottle.”

    (I show her where the paint brushes are and help her pick one out.)

    Customer: “So…I just, like…brush the paint on what I want to paint?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s the general idea.”

    Page 1,859/2,156First...1,8571,8581,8591,8601,861...Last