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    Lost In No Translation

    | The Hague, Netherlands | Language & Words, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

    (A lost-looking tourist enters the shop.)

    Tourist: “Do any of y’all speak American?”

    Me: *joking* “I’m sorry, but we can only speak English.”

    Tourist: “Okay, sorry to bother you.” *leaves*

    H2Slow, Part 3

    | Minnesota, USA | Money, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

    Caller: "I was just wondering if my credit card will work the same in Hawaii as it does here?"

    Me: "Well, ma’am, Hawaii is part of the US, so it should."

    Caller: "I know. I was just making sure since we’d be flying over a body of water."

    Related:
    H2Slow, Part 2
    H2Slow

    Must Have Lymphed Their Way Through Biology

    | St. John's, NL, Canada | Math & Science, Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

    Me: “Okay, well I’d like to do some tests on your cat.”

    Client: “Which kind of tests, how does that work?”

    Me: “I’d like to do some blood-work. We take it just like a doctor would take human blood.”

    Client: “Cats have blood?!”

    Trying To Re-Coup Losses

    | Oakville, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Money, Uncategorized

    (An elderly customer comes up to my checkout.)

    Me: “That’ll be [price]."

    Customer: “Why is it so much?”

    Me: “Well, you bought all these items, and it all adds up to your total.”

    Customer: “You charged me for the chicken?”

    Me: “Yes, of course.”

    Customer: “There’s your mistake. The chickens are free today.”

    Me: “I beg your pardon?”

    Customer: “I got it from that big display where you’re giving away ‘free range chicken’.”

    Monsters Of The ID

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Money, Uncategorized, Underaged

    (A customer wishes to pay with her debit card. I flip it over and see that it says ‘see ID’.)

    Me: “May I please see your ID?”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “It says ‘see ID’.”

    Customer: “No it doesn’t!”

    Me: “Yes, it does.”

    (I show her the small writing that says ‘See ID’.)

    Customer: “I know that’s there.”

    Me: “Then may I see your ID?”

    Customer: “That doesn’t apply to me.”

    Me: “I don’t understand.”

    Customer: “I put that there so that you can catch thieves that might use my card. It only applies to thieves, not me!”

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