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    Old School Hustlers

    | Burnsville, MN, USA | Top

    (A customer approaches the bookstore counter with an adult magazine.)

    Customer 2, from behind Customer 1: “What’s the matter, don’t you have a computer?”

    This Can Not End Well

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ***, how may I help you today?”

    Caller: “I need a part for my car.”

    Me: “Okay, what year, make, and model is your car?”

    Caller: “Umm… it’s a black car.”

    Me: “Okay, who made your car?”

    Caller: “Some dude in a factory.”

    Me: “Is it a Chevy, Ford, Chrysler?”

    Caller: “It’s a Honda… Civic.”

    Me: “Okay, what part do you need?”

    Caller: “I was wondering if you guys sell little microwaves to put in the dash.”

    Me: “No, no sir we do not.”

    Caller: “But I saw this really awesome picture on the internet that had a microwave in the dash of this dude’s car.”

    Me: “Um, I’m pretty sure that he had years of experience in working with that particular car, it’s electronics systems, and microwaves before he actually put that microwave in his car. They do not offer microwaves for cars.”

    Caller: “So… do you think you could put in a microwave for me?”

    Just Add Water

    | North Carolina, USA |

    (I work in a pet store that does not sell live feeder mice. We only sell frozen feeder mice that come four a container.)

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “I have a question about these feeder mice. If I unfreeze them, will they come back to life?”

    When Men Were Men & Electronics Were Multi-Taskers

    , | British Columbia, Canada |

    (A mother and son are finishing up their purchase.)

    Me: “Will that be all for you guys today?”

    Customer: “Well…do you have meetings here with your staff? Like ones where everyone can talk?”

    Me: “Sometimes…”

    Customer: “I want you to tell them I don’t like these new TVs, the flat screens and the plasmas. I want the old TVs back. You should tell them that.”

    Me: “The old TVs?”

    Customer: “I remember when TVs were like furniture. You could use them to put a plant on, or a lamp, and they were square and wood-paneled. TVs were better then.”

    Son: “Mom, I like the new plasma and LCD TVs. They’re really cool!”

    Customer: “No! They aren’t! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” *to me* “Now, you lady, you should tell them that for me! Tell them I want furniture back! And I’m not the only one!”

    (She then proceeded to walk around the store, going off about technology, and how the old stuff was better. Her poor son was embarrassed the whole time.)

    Lowest Common Denominator: Found

    | Everly, IA, USA |

    (This exchange happened between two co-workers.)

    Waitress: “I need a fourth of a chicken to go, please.”

    Cook: “OK, a quarter chicken it is!”

    Waitress: “NO! I ASKED FOR A FOURTH!”

    Cook: “A quarter and a fourth are the same thing.”

    Waitress: “Oh…is there another word for a half?”

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