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    Death Refunds Her

    | Minnesota, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    Customer: “I’d like to return these pants.”

    Me: “Was there something wrong with them?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t think so. They were my mother’s, but she died.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

    Customer: “It’s okay. Here’s the receipt.”

    Me: “Did she wear these pants?”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “The tags are off.”

    Customer: “She just did that to try them on.”

    Me: “But there’s a Kleenex in the pocket.”

    Customer: “Well, she’s not going to be wearing them anymore. She died.”

    Me: “I understand, but if there wasn’t anything wrong with them and they’ve already been worn then I can’t return them.”

    Customer: “Wouldn’t you rather let someone buy them who is going to wear them?”

    Me: “That’s not for me to decide. If there’s nothing wrong with them, I can’t return them.”

    Customer: “Well, there’s something wrong then! They have a hole in them.”

    Me: “Oh, okay. Where’s the hole?”

    *long pause*

    Customer: “You should just automatically make refunds for dead people!”

    DVD: Die Video Die

    | Wollongong, Australia | Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Top

    Customer: “This d*** DVD doesn’t work!”

    Me: “Oh I’m sorry sir, I’ll put it in to be cleaned immediately.” *I check disc for scratches* “I would say the reason this particular disc doesn’t work is that it’s cracked right in half.”

    Customer: “Don’t give me that s***! Half the DVD’s from this place won’t work in my DVD player!”

    Me: “Well, unfortunately some patrons don’t take very good care of them.”

    Customer: “Well why should I? It don’t work so I snapped it!”

    Me:You broke the DVD sir?”

    Customer: “Your DVDs never work anyway, and I’m sick of it!”

    Me: “You realize I will have to charge you the cost of a new DVD?”

    Customer: “That’s an outrage! Your DVDs don’t work because some selfish idiot doesn’t look after them, so I have to pay for it?”

    Me: “Did you or did you not break this DVD in half sir?”

    Customer: “Yes, but only because I’d already scratched it by throwing it across the room.”

    Me: “Why?”

    Customer: “Well if I didn’t do it, someone else just would have…If my dog damaged the disc, would I still have to pay for it?”

    Me: “Yes, you would.”

    Customer: “You’re a moody cow, you know that?!”

    You’d Bella Believe It

    | Wilmington, NC, USA | Movies & TV, Technology, Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling. May I have your first and last name please?”

    Caller: “Yes this is [name] from [wireless store] and I need help with switching a customer’s phone.”

    Me: “I can certainly assist you with changing the phone. May I have the serial number for the new phone?”

    Caller: “Yes, it’s A as in Alpha, E as in Edward, and C…as in Cullen.” *awkward pause* “Don’t judge me!”

    Bumming Around On The Job

    | Manalapan, NJ, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work in a high-end grocery store that has a department of employees solely dedicated to pushing shopping carts.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, what’s [department name]?”

    Me: “It’s a department where we push shopping carts, assist customers, and maintain the parking lot.”

    Customer: “Yes, but are you an employee at [store]?”

    Me: “Yes, I’m an employee.”

    Customer: “As in, do they pay you?”

    Me: “Yes, this is my job.”

    Customer: “So, you’re not homeless?”

    Incheon Further Away From The Answer

    | Boston, MA, USA | Tourists/Travel

    Resident: “So are you Chinese or Puerto Rican? It’s hard to tell.”

    Me: “I’m Korean.”

    Resident: “Oh. Is that like Japan?”

    Me: “No, it’s Korea.”

    Resident: “Well, that was my next guess. So, do you speak Chinese or Japanese?”

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