July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

(Dead) Wrong Number

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Uncategorized

(We have received dry cleaning, so I call a guest to let him know he can pick it up.)

Guest: “Steven’s Mortuary: You stab ’em, we slab ’em.”

Me: “Oh…hello. This is the front desk. I was just calling to let you know your dry cleaning is here.”

Guest: “Oh! Sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

Me: “That’s okay, sir. That was the most interesting call I’ve had all day.”

Not The Apple From The Tree Of Knowledge

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [mobile carrier’s name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I have an issue with my iPhone.”

Me: “I will be happy to help you. What is the issue with your iPhone?

Customer: “It’s just that when I turn it on, the apple on the screen appears bitten. Is that okay?”

Adapt Your Knowledge Or Become Incontinent

| FL, USA | Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

(A customer is looking for a travel adapter for Egypt.)

Me: “Here is one that will work. It is for Africa?”

Customer: “I am not going to Africa. I am going to Egypt!”

Me: “Egypt is on the African continent.”

Customer: “Africa is a continent?”

You’ll Wanna Sit Down For This One

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Movies & TV, Uncategorized

(A guest hands me a ticket for a movie that doesn’t start for another hour.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We’re not ready to let people in for this show yet.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “There are still people in the auditorium watching the last showing of this movie.”

Customer: *stare* “I don’t get it.”

Me: “We need to wait for the people to leave. Then, we will clean the theater, and then you can go in.”

Customer: “You mean I’ll be sitting in a seat someone just sat in!?”

Me: “Most likely, yes.”

Customer: “That’s unsanitary!”

Me: “That’s how movie theaters work, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, if my seat is warm, I want a refund!”

A-Pee-l For An Appointment

| OR, USA | Health & Body, Uncategorized

(Some of the exams we schedule require that a patient have a full bladder at the time of the exam in order to get the appropriate images.)

Caller: “Hi, I was hoping you might have an opening for an OB ultrasound this afternoon?”

Me: “I’m sorry, the schedule is actually very full today. I could get her in tomorrow afternoon if you’d like?”

Caller: “No, that’s okay. She’s just here now with a full bladder and we didn’t want to waste it.”

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