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    Ah Fathers, Part 4

    | California, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

    (A customer walks up to the counter in a very aggressive way.)

    Customer: “You sold a very violent game to my 14 year old son!”

    Me: “I apologize, which game did we sell him?”

    (The customer hands me copy of the game.)

    Me: “Sir, this games is rated "M" we won’t sell this game to anyone under the age of 17 without proper I.D. Are you sure he got it here?”

    Customer: “Yeah!” *hands me receipt*

    (The receipt had been printed at my register, and was marked for earlier that day.)

    Me: “The only copy of this game we sold today was sold to a 21 year old.”

    Customer: “Well he acts like a 14 year old!”

    Related:
    Ah, Fathers, Part 3
    Ah, Fathers, Part 2
    Ah, Fathers

    Dishing The Dirt

    | Oulu, Finland | Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

    (During a renovation clean up for an apartment building, a random person from another apartment in the same building approaches me.)

    Customer: “Hi, I noticed that you are back again. When are you going to get to cleaning my kitchen?”

    Me: “What apartment number would that be, Sir?”

    Customer: “11.”

    Me: “Sorry Sir, you’re not on the list for cleaning. Maybe you should ask about that from the boss for the renovating company?”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “Because you’re not listed for the renovation clean up.”

    Customer: “But I haven’t had any renovating done!”

    Me: “Then why are you asking us to come and clean your kitchen?”

    Customer: “Because it’s filthy!”

    How To Kill, To Kill A Mockingbird, Part 2

    | United Kingdom | Books & Reading, Uncategorized

    (I find a young customer looking a little lost in the nature section.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’m looking for a book about killing birds.”

    Me: “Killing birds?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I need it for school.”

    Me: “Do you mean To Kill a Mockingbird, by any chance?”

    Customer: “Yeah that’s it! Do you have it?”

    (I take him to the classics section and show him the book.)

    Me: “You know, its not actually about killing birds.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “It’s about social injustice in 1930’s America.”

    Customer: “Oh. That doesn’t sound as much fun. Do you have any books about killing birds?”

    Me: “I hope not.”

    Related:
    How To Kill, To Kill A Mockingbird

    The Holy Ghost

    | Hyde Park, London, UK | Religion, Uncategorized

    Tourist: “Excuse me, do you know why are there so many police and ambulances about?”

    Me: “It’s for the Pope’s visit. He’s preaching in the Cathedral and then there’s a procession.”

    Tourist: “But didn’t the Pope die years ago?”

    Customers To Keep You On Your Toes

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Family & Kids, School, Uncategorized

    (My husband and I inherited a dance studio from his mother and we’re both full-time teachers there. Naturally, our five-year-old spends a lot of time with us at the studio. Her father and I were playing "Swan Lake" with her one day in one of the dance studios after all the classes were over when a mother and her daughter came in.)

    Customer: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “Can I help you? Classes are over for the day.”

    Customer: “I would like to organize one-on-one private lessons with you for my daughter.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t do private lessons.”

    Customer: “So why is he teaching that little girl how to do a lift?”

    Me: “That’s our daughter. He’s not teaching her anything, he’s just picking her up. We were playing a game.”

    Customer: “I demand you give my child private lessons!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve just told you, we don’t do that here.”

    Customer: “She’s been in your class for two years!”

    Me: “Yes, I know.”

    Customer: “That little girl isn’t even old enough to be in your class.”

    Me: “No, she’s not, but she’s my daughter. She’s been exposed to ballet since she was a baby.”

    Customer: “So has my child! She knows culture!”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am, but I just can’t give her private lessons.”

    Customer: “Why are you letting her do it, then?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve told you already, she’s my daughter. She gets private lessons with me whether she likes it or not. We live together.”

    Customer: “So if I send my daughter to live with you, will you teach her?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you can’t send your daughter to live with us.”

    My Daughter: “Mommy! Look at me!”

    Customer: “Oh, she really is your daughter? I thought you were lying. See you tomorrow for class!”

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