Interior Design Supports Parental Decline

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(It’s 9 pm and the hotel is sold out. A guest calls from the 8th floor. Note: our rooms have exterior entrances.)

Me: “Front desk, how can I help you?”

Guest: “I was wondering, do you had any rooms on a lower floor? My grandson is only two, but he can reach the safety lock. He keeps trying to go outside.”

Me: “The only rooms we have available tonight are on the 6th floor. I can set you up for a room transfer tomorrow, if you like?

Guest: “That would be great!”

Me: “I’ll look for one all the way to the ground floor. Is that okay?”

Guest: “That would be fine, thank you. I just don’t want my grandson getting outside, you know.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll go ahead and set you up for that. But just to let you know, the ground floor hasn’t been renovated yet. The room is going to be a little outdated. The renovation has only reached the 6th floor.”

Guest: “Oh really? You know what? Packing all my things up might be a little difficult. It’s okay, never mind!”

I Am The Robot, Goo Goo G’joob

| Vallejo, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(I work in the walrus exhibit at the park answering questions about the animals. One of our four walruses has metal caps on her teeth because she scrapes them on the ground constantly.)

Guest: “Hey, I have a question about the walrus with the metal teeth.”

Me: “Ah, yes. That is an interesting story! See, she–”

Guest: “So, why is that walrus a robot?”

Me: “Sorry, what? A robot?”

Guest: “Yeah, that’s the only one with metal teeth. You can tell it is a robot. Why would you put a robot walrus in with the real ones? Or are they all robots?”

Redefine Online

| KY, USA | Uncategorized

(I work in the warehouse for a large, online-only retailer. I am standing outside talking to friends at the bus stop. A man drives past, slowing down to talk to me.)

Driver: “Hey, what’s this place here?”

Me: “It’s a warehouse for [online retailer]. This is where we ship out orders and whatnot.”

Driver: “So, I can go in there and pack up my own stuff to take home?”

Me: “No, you order things online. We process it, pack it, and then send it to you.”

Driver: “Wait. This isn’t a store?”

Me: “No, sir. We’re online only.”

Driver: “Well, then why do you have facilities? Doesn’t all that internet stuff come from the internet?”

This Customer Has Trouble Written All Over Him

| Baldwinsville, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like to buy some syringes.”

Me: “Can I see some ID?”

Customer: “They’re not for me, they’re for my dad. He’s a diabetic and needs them for his insulin.”

Me: “Okay. I still need to see some ID. Do you know his date of birth?”

Customer: “I’ll never forget his date of birth. I had it tattooed on my arm the day he died.”

(The customer proceeds to show everyone in the pharmacy the tattoo of his deceased father’s DOB–the same father that he is trying to buy syringes for.)

The Formula For Laziness

| HI, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. I was wondering if you had [brand] formula?”

Me: “If you hold on, I will go check.”

(I go and check. I come back on the line a few minutes later.)

Me: “Thank you for holding, ma’am. We have the formula. Would you like me to hold some for you?”

Caller: “No, I’m in the parking lot. I just wanted to make sure you had it today before I came in.”

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