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    How To Address The Proof Of Address

    | New Jersey, USA | Books & Reading, Uncategorized, Underaged

    Me: “Okay, for a library card I need ID the verifies your address.”

    Patron: *recites address*

    Me: “I need proof that is your address, like your ID or a bill.”

    Patron: *recites address again*

    Me: “I’m sorry. I need proof.”

    (The patron walks away and comes back with another patron.)

    Patron: “Will you please tell this lady where I live to prove it?”

    They’ll Never Survive Welsh

    | Manchester, UK | Funny Names, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

    (A tourist is in line to get a ticket.)

    Tourist: “Can I have a ticket to Loogahgbaroogah?”

    Me: “Sorry, where?”

    Tourist: “Loogahbaroogah.”

    Me: Sir, there is no rail station in the UK called Loogahbaroogah.”

    Tourist: “But…”

    Me: “Did you mean Loughbrough?” (It’s pronounced ‘Luffbruh’)

    (The tourist gets his ticket and walks off, followed by the next customer in line.)

    Next Customer: “It’s a good job he didn’t want my ticket. Return to Llanelli, please.”

    America, Land Of The Not-So-Free

    | Houston, TX, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Would you like a free year of anti-virus for this computer?”

    Customer: “No, that is too expensive! In my country, we can get it for about $16 USD!”

    Me: “Well, in this country you get it for free when you buy a computer.”

    Customer: “No, it’s too expensive. You give me a deal?”

    Me: “I can charge you $16 US Dollars for the anti-virus.”

    Customer: “Okay! You see? You gave me a deal.”

    Inching Away From Intelligence

    | Ireland | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Hi. I’d like to return my 13″ laptop please.”

    Me: “Alright. Any particular reason you want to return it?”

    Customer: “I thought the screen would be bigger, so I want to buy a larger one instead.”

    Me: “So you thought your 13″ laptop was going to have a bigger screen?”

    Customer: “Yeah. When I was buying it online it said ‘widescreen’.”

    Bohemian Nobody

    | Durham, NC, USA | Top

    (A customer approaches the service counter.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Is this the real life?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Is this just fantasy?”

    Me: *catching on* “Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.”

    Customer: “D*** it! I was trying to prank you! You shouldn’t know what I’m doing!”

    Me: “Doesn’t really matter to me, to meeee.”

    Customer: “F*** you!” *storms off*

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