October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Not Quite The Cat’s Meow

| Ontario, Canada | Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

(A visitor enters with a large cat carrier.)

Visitor: “Hi, I found a stray cat. They told me to bring it here.”

Me: “Ok, just stay in this room. I’ll get some assistance.”

Visitor: “It’s really nasty, it keeps hissing. I think it wants out. Do you mind if I let it out?”

Me: “Please don’t, miss. We need to evaluate it first.”

Visitor: “No, I really think he needs to be let out. Don’t worry!”

Me: *noticing the loud hissing and snarling* “I seriously advise against opening the carrier!”

Visitor: “Why?”

Me: “Because that is not a cat.”

(The visitor ignores me and opens the carrier. A huge, angry raccoon dashes out, hissing and growling.)

Loonie Toonies

| Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Canada, Hotels & Lodging, Uncategorized

Me: “Good evening, sir. How can I help you?”

Guest: “I need change for $5.00 so I can leave the maid a tip.”

(The guest hands me a Canadian $5.00 bill and I open my register and take out a ‘toonie’ and three ‘loonies’ and hand it to the guest.)

Guest: *blank look* “What is this?”

Me: “That is change for $5.00.”

Guest: “Is this real?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Guest: “Are you kidding me?”

Me: “No, sir. I assure you that is Canadian change for five dollars.”

Guest: “Is the maid going to understand what this stuff is?”

Homeless Meets Thoughtless

| Dalton, GA, USA | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

(A woman comes up to me while I’m taking down the dried out, bad corn from the display.)

Customer: "You just throw those away?"

Me: "Yep, we have to throw out the bad ones."

Customer: "You mean they don’t donate it to the poor or anything?"

Me: "Well, no. Our store does donate to the unfortunate, but it’s usually money or fresh product."

Customer: "But poor people are used to eating bad food! They eat out of the trash all the time! You don’t have to give them good food!"

McMahon Would Be Proud

| Ontario, Canada | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

(Note: the customer speaks like a wrestling announcer, which continues for this entire conversation.)

Customer: “I need a medium pizza with four, count ’em, four toppings!”

Me: “Alright, let me just grab a pen to write your order.”

Customer: “What are those toppings you may ask? Well, they are mushrooms, green peppers, pineapple, and sliced tomatoes!”

Me: “Alright sir, I have all of that written down and your pizza should be ready in about–”

Customer: “I will return in ten, count ’em, ten minutes, and my pizza had better be ready!”

Me: “Well we will certainly do our best, sir.”

Customer: “Good! And if your best is not good enough, well, so be it!”

Pause For (Lack Of) Thought

, | Waukesha, WI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [Fast Food Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yea, I’m calling about the nuts you put in my son’s ice cream.”

Me: “Um, sir, we don’t sell ice cream here.”

Caller: “Yeah, you did. I came in last night.”

Me: “Sir, this is [Fast Food Restaurant]. We don’t serve ice cream here.”

Caller: “Yeah, you do. For 49 cents. And you put nuts in my son’s ice cream! I’d like to speak to your manager!”

Me: “You’re speaking to her.”

Caller: “Oh, and you said you don’t serve ice cream here?”

Me: “No sir, we don’t. I think you needed the number for [other restaurant] across the street.”

Caller: You own both the restaurants?

Me: “No sir, we don’t. We’re just us.”

Caller: *long pause* “So what kind of desserts do you sell there?”

Me: “Cinnamon Twists.”

Caller: “I hate those things. What else you got?”

Me: “Cinnamon Twists. That’s it.”

Caller: “I heard you say that! What else do you have?”

Me: “That’s it.”

Caller: *longer pause* “Well, can you concoct something for me if I came in?”

Me: “No, sir, we can’t do that.”

Caller: “Oh…”

Me: “Was there anything else you needed help with?”

Caller: “No. Just to clarify, you don’t sell ice cream?”

Me: “That’s right.”

Caller: *long pause* “You should probably hang up now.”

Page 1,849/2,509First...1,8471,8481,8491,8501,851...Last