Modern Technology Can Pass By In A Blur, Part 2

| Rogers, AR, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, I’m here to see Sanctum!”

Me: “Alright! Here are your 3D glasses.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s 3D? I don’t do well with those. Is there a 2D version?”

Me: “No, ma’am. We only have 3D.”

Customer: “Well, do I have to wear the glasses?”

Me: “Well, you don’t have to. But the screen will be blurry if you don’t.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, can you un-blur it for me?”

Modern Technology Can Pass By In A Blur

Time Waits For No Madam

| Vejle, Denmark | Uncategorized

(I’m selling tickets to a mother and her 6-year-old daughter.)

Daughter: “Mom, when can we see the movie?”

Mother: “It starts in fifteen minutes.”

Daughter: “And how long does that take? An hour?”

Leave Your Baggage At The Checkout

| Perth, Australia | Top

(I am checking out a customer.)

Customer #1: “No, no, no! I want the fruit in a separate bag.”

Me: “No problem. I was just going to do that anyway.”

Customer #1: “No, I want them separate. They’ll get squashed.”

Me: “So, separate from each other?”

Customer #1: “Yes, of course! Or they’ll get bruised.”

(By this point, the customer has been rude enough. I put each piece of fruit in its own individual bag while he pays. When he has rushed off, both I and the next customer notice he has left three of the four bags of fruit behind.)

Me: “Sorry, just be a second.”

(I run to a coworker not on register.)

Me, to coworker: “The previous customer left these behind. He’s wearing a red cap and a black t-shirt, heading out the exit by the bank.”

Coworker: “On it!” *dashes off*

Customer #2: “After all that fuss, and he forgot about it!”

Me: “The sad thing is, I’d put money on it somehow being my fault.”

Customer #2: “No, surely not?! It was sitting on the bench, plain as day.”

Me: “You’d be surprised, really. Most people are rational, but in this job you really do get to see all types. Some people just can’t take responsibility for their own actions, and we’re easy targets for blame.”

Customer #2: “That’s sad, but you’ve got me as a witness!” *smiles*

(The first customer storms back to my register.)

Customer #1: “You stole my shopping! Where is it? You kept it to make me look like a fool!”

Me: “It’s okay. It’s right here.”

(I hand over the bags, smiling.)

Customer #1: “Where were they? You hid them behind the register?”

Customer #2: “No, they were right there on the bench with the rest of your shopping.”

Customer #1: “Oh. I thought you’d forgotten to pick them up from back there.”

Customer #2: “They sent someone after you, too.”

Me: “It’s fine. It looks like you were in a rush. Have a good day!”

(The first customer scurries off grumbling and clutching his bags.)

Customer #2: “I thought you were just kidding! I had no idea people could be so stupid! And so very rude to you for his own mistake! I’d never blame any of you for something like that.”

Me: “I know. That’s what makes you one of the good ones!”

Smelling A Bargain

| CT, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any of the regular fish oil pills?”

Me: “No, I don’t have those. But we’ve got the odorless pills here.”

Customer: “Thanks anyway. I really just wanted the regular ones.”

Me: “Oh, but these are great. They’ve got no odor at all. If you take these, you won’t smell of fish!”

Customer: “You mean I smell of fish?! Oh my God! I didn’t know! Nobody told me! I don’t believe I smell of fish!”

Me: “Uh, that’s not what I meant.”

Customer: “I didn’t know I smell of fish! Oh, this is awful!”

(The customer opens his phone, dialing.)

Customer, on phone: “Mom? It’s me. Why didn’t you tell me I smell of fish? Of course I do! The guy at the store just said I need to take the odorless pills because I smell of fish!”

Me: *head in hands* “No, wait!”

Customer: “I can’t believe even you didn’t tell me! I feel awful now! How long until it goes away?”

No ID, No Idea, Part 6

| Eugene, OR, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at an on-campus location. Students can pay for food with meal accounts using their student IDs.)

Customer: “I don’t have my ID. Can I just give you my number?”

Me: “Sure. I’ll just need another form of picture ID.”

(The customer pulls out a credit card.)

Me: “Oh, would you like to pay with this instead?”

Customer: “No, that’s my ID.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I need a picture ID.”

(The customer takes the credit card back, and hands me another credit card.)

Me: “A picture ID, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, all these cards have my name on them! That proves they’re mine!”

No ID, No Idea, Part 5
No ID, No Idea, Part 4
No ID, No Idea, Part 3
No ID, No Idea, Part 2
No ID, No Idea

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