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    Off The Clock Customer Block

    | Robinson, PA, USA | Crazy Requests

    (After my shift, I am shopping in the store I work at. I am not wearing my name tag, but still wearing a plain blue polo and black slacks.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! You work here, don’t you?”

    Me: “Well, yeah but not right now I actually just–”

    Customer: “Can you find these shoes for me?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m done for the day. I just clocked out.”

    Customer: “Then what are you doing here?”

    Me: “I’m shopping too.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t be allowed to do that!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You guys shouldn’t be allowed to shop while normal people are shopping! I want to speak to your manager!”

    Slippery When Wet

    | Foxboro, MA, USA | Musical Mayhem

    (I’m working at a football stadium at a Bon Jovi concert. A drunk customer orders a water.)

    Customer: “Why can I not have the cap to this!?”

    Me: “It’s policy that we can’t give them to you. People used to throw full bottles onto the field and stages during events and it’s a safety hazard for the performers, athletes, and other members of the audience.”

    Customer: *absolutely serious* “Why would ANYONE want to throw ANYTHING at Bon Jovi?!”

    Ooooooooh Dear

    | Fort Kent, MN, USA | Funny Names

    (I am stocking shelves, a customer comes up asking for assistance to find an item.)

    Customer: “I need to find some Eight O’s corn.”

    Me: “I’m not familiar with that brand, ma’am, but I will do my best to help. Are you looking for corn that is fresh, frozen or canned?”

    Customer: “How am I supposed to know that? It’s Eight O’s corn!”

    Me:  “Well, is it cold?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “It is probably in our frozen section, then. Let’s go take a look.”

    (After pointing out our selection of frozen corn, she picks up a bag of store brand frozen corn excitedly.)

    Customer: “This is it! Eight O’s!”

    (I look at the item and see she has picked up an 8 oz. bag).

    IQ Falls In The West

    | Hays, KS, USA | Language & Words, Technology

    Me: “Alright sir, in order to get this taken care of we will need to know the manufacturer of brand name of the product.”

    Customer: “I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand.”

    Me: “The company that makes the product.”

    Customer: “I still don’t understand.”

    Me: “It will state who makes it on the product.”

    Customer: “Oh, I know! It was China!”

    Cinnamon Puns

    | North Bay, ON, Canada | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Language & Words, Top

    Customer: “Our daughter is looking for a book called Antonyms and Cinnamons.”

    (I type it into our search system, but no dice.)

    Me: “Would you know the author’s name?”

    Customer: “No, I forget. It was something weird though. She wrote it down, but I forget.”

    Me: “Might you mean Antonyms and Synonyms?”

    Customer: “Yes! That’s it!”

    (I search again.)

    Me: “Nothing with that exact title is coming up. Was there more to it?”

    Customer: “The author’s name. It was something funny. Sounded like a dinosaur. Wait, I think I might have it here.”

    (She searches through her pockets and fishes out a little folded piece of paper.)

    Customer: “Here it is. Antonyms and Cinnamons by Theo Saurus!'”

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