Not Always Right: Official iPhone/iPod App

iPhone/iPod Touch | Xcluded

Introducing Not Always Right’s Official iPhone/iPod App!

Easily view, share, and save all of the hilarious stories on your phone with the official app. You can even submit your own stories right from the app!

Features:
* Top stories – as voted by users just like you
* Recent stories
* Random stories – practically infinite entertainment
* Favorites – easily save your favorites stories for offline viewing
* Submit – upload your own stories right from the app
* Share – send stories to friends, family, and coworkers via Facebook, SMS, and email

Get your app today!

Me, Myself, And Iced Tea

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [restaurant]!”

Wife: “Hello. We’ll take two buffets, please.”

Me: “Alright, would you like drinks?”

Wife: “I would.”

Me: “And you, sir?”

Husband: *gives me an odd look, nods slightly, and then looks at his wife*

Wife, to her husband: “What’s that look for?”

Husband: *completely serious* “I don’t like when people talk to me. I can’t hear the voices…”

Chroniton & Paste

| Bellevue, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(Note: I run the scoring system at swim meets for my local pool.)

Parent: “Do you mind pulling up my son’s race time?”

Me: “No problem. What race?”

Parent: “32.”

(I glance over at the announcer’s table. Race 25 is currently swimming.)

Me: “Oh, so you want his qualification time? Sure, I can pull that up.”

Parent: “No, no. I want his race time.”

Me: “You do realize that the race hasn’t happened yet, right?”

Parent: “Oh, that matters? Okay, then…switch him into an earlier race.”

Me: “Even if I switched him into a race that had already happened, it wouldn’t make your son’s time appear in the system. The computer doesn’t work that way.”

Parent: “It doesn’t?”

Goldilocks Is Better Off With The Bears

| Toronto, Canada | Top

(Note: We sell a mosquito tent for babies that is very compact and light.)

Customer: “Hi, I have a question about your baby tent?”

Me: “Sure, what would you like to know?”

Customer: “Can the tent withstand a bear attack?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Well, let’s say we go camping and my husband and I are sun tanning on the other side of the lake. If a bear comes into the campsite, will the tent protect my child?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m confused. Who is in the campsite with your baby while you are on the other side of the lake?”

Customer: “Nobody. Why?”

The Fine Art Of Peevesdropping

| Oshkosh, WI, USA | Uncategorized

(Note: My coworker is my friend, and we usually pick on each other in good fun.)

Me, to coworker: “Your shirt is all wrinkled! Maybe you should show up to work looking decent!”

Mistakenly overhearing customer: “Well, maybe you should shove it!”

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