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    The Logic Is Weak In This One

    | Victoria, BC, Canada |

    (A man comes out of the fitting room with a pair of pants and talks to my coworker.)

    Customer: “So… it says here on the hanger, that it’s size 34. The tag says 34, and this other tag says 34. But there’s no freaking way I can fit into these! So what does that mean?

    Coworker: “Well, I guess that means you’re not a size 34…”

    Customer: “Oh. Thanks.”

    When Customers Attack

    | Alberta, Canada |

    (A lady comes up to me with a cart.)

    Lady: “Where’s the toilet paper that’s on sale?”

    Me: “It should be in aisle 18.”

    (We’re looking for the toilet paper when another man comes up and stands quietly nearby, clearly waiting for me to help him. The lady turns to the man and RAMS him with her cart.)

    Lady: “Stay back f***er! She’s helping me first!”

    Man: “Excuse me? I was just waiting to ask where the cereal is–”

    Lady: *rams cart into him again* “F*** OFF!”

    (Surprisingly, the man did not retaliate and I waved him off to the appropriate aisle.)

    From the Not Always Right store:

    When Customers Attack Tee
    Customers Attack (red)
    When Customers Attack
    Customers Attack (black)

    We Stand Up For Our Own

    , | Ontario, Canada |

    (It’s Christmastime, which is always hellish at our video game store. There is a giant line running all the way to the back of the store, and I am serving a young boy and his grandfather.)

    Me: “Your total comes to $68.98.”

    Customer: “What? That’s too high. That game was fifty dollars.”

    Me: “Oh, the game is actually $59.99.”

    Customer: “I told you I didn’t want any of your extra s***. I just want this game thing he wants.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you misread the price sir, but that language in unacceptable in this store, especially with so many young people nearby.”

    Customer: “You know what, I didn’t come in here for your attitude. I came in here to buy my stupid grandson’s stupid game!”

    Me: “Then it’s $68.98…”

    Customer: “These games are so absolutely stupid. You people waste your time and your money on this s***! You people are all fat and unemployed and pathetic! You game people need to get f***ing jobs!”

    Another customer in line: “She’s doing her job right now, idiot.”

    Another customer in line #2: “Get lost, jerk!”

    Me: “That line behind you is composed of gamers, sir.”

    (At this point, the entire lineup starts yelling at the guy that he’s a jerk.)

    Customer: *flees the store*

    (For the next half hour every single customer, most of them probably gamers, tells me that I don’t deserve that kind of treatment, and apologizes for him. It is easily one of the best days I’ve ever had at work.)

    Citizens Of Puooiam, The Customer Is Always Right

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA |

    Me: ¬†”… we will pick you up at the Pulliam airport.”

    Customer: ¬†”How do you spell Pulliam?”

    Me: ¬†”P as in Paul, U as Umbrella, L as in Lily–”

    Customer: ¬†”Lily doesn’t start with O. ¬†You meant to say Oscar.”

    Me: ¬†”But the letter is L. As in Lily, Lock, Luke…”

    Customer: ¬†”None of those words start with O.”

    Me: ¬†”You’re right… anyway, it’s spelled it PULLIAM.”

    Customer: ¬†”You mean PUOOIAM.”

    Me: ¬†”Sure…”

    For You, We’re Always Closed

    | Lancaster, PA, USA |

    (The diner I work in is a 24 hour restaurant, and closes only on Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Day, and New Years Eve after 6pm.)

    Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [diner]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, what time do you close?”

    Me: “We don’t close until Thanksgiving–we’re 24 hours.”

    Caller: “I don’t care what time you close on Thanksgiving, I want to know when you close TONIGHT.”

    Me: “… 5 pm.”

    Caller: “THANK YOU.” *hangs up*

    Related:
    Just Tell ‘Em What They Want To Hear, Part Two
    Just Tell ‘Em What They Want To Hear


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