October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

A Real Drinking Problem

| High Point, NC, USA | Books & Reading, Uncategorized

(A customer is about to get on the elevator and go upstairs with a soda.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but soda is not allowed upstairs. We have an area right under the stairs that you can sit and drink it or you will need to take it outside.”

Customer: “But I just bought it! You mean I can’t take it upstairs even if I’m not going to open it?”

Me: “No, ma’am. They just don’t allow it.”

Customer: “You mean I have to drink it? Well, I never would have bought it if I had known I was going to have to drink it!”

Off-Color Knowledge

| Montreal, Canada | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

Customer: Hi, I need some printer ink please. Do you carry ink for [printer model]?”

Me: “Of course. You want the color cartridge?”

Customer: “Oh, they have colors? Okay, then. I want green and pink.”

Me: “It doesn’t really work like that. The printer has one color cartridge that can do all the colors.”

Customer: “Really? How they can put that many colors in one cartridge?”

Me: “They put only blue, red and yellow, and they’re mixed to make all the colors.”

Customer: “Oh, that sounds cool. But how will the printer know which color goes where if I don’t tell it?”

Large Signs, Larger Bags, And Even Larger Egos

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

(A customer with a large bag enters the store.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. You’re going to have to check your bag there up at the front counter.”

Customer: “Why?! I’ve never had to before!”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s store policy.”

Customer: “No it isn’t! You’re doing this just because I’m not white! I guess non-white people aren’t welcome here!”

Me: “You’re more than welcome here, but it’s store policy that all shoppers check their bags.”

Customer: “Show me a sign that says this is your policy!”

(I take her up front and show her the large, bright-red sign with bold, white letters that says customers are required to check their bags before shopping.)

Customer: “You put this out because you saw me coming!”

Tea Drag

| Weston, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

(I’m waiting to pick up my friend from her shift, when a customer comments on her.)

Customer: “There’s something strange about that lady over there.”

Me: “She’s a wonderful tea-brewer.”

Customer: “Well, there’s something strange about her appearance.”

Me: “Oh, she gets a lot of questions about that. That’s because she was originally born a man.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “As in, she’s a transsexual.”

Customer: “Oh! Does she sing?”

In A (Lone Star) Drunken State

| Texas, USA | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi there! Welcome to [store name]. Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Customer: “Yes. Do you sell wine?”

Me: “No, ma’am. We don’t sell alcohol.”

Customer: “But…but this is Texas!”

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