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    New Years Resolution: Get A Brain

    | Manistee, MI, USA | Uncategorized

    (Every year in December at our buffet, we give out Chinese wall scroll calendars for the upcoming year.)

    Me: “Would you like one of our calendars, sir?”

    Customer: “No thanks. I got one last year!”

    Me: “Well, the dates are different on this one.”

    Customer: “Really?!”

    Technology To Shout About

    | London, UK | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello sir, I’ve just come to put a microphone on you.”

    Client: “I hate those things. Do I need one? I can project.”

    Me: “You have an audio conference call on this event, so you need to speak into a microphone. Otherwise, people calling in won’t hear anything.”

    Client: “Can’t I just shout?”

    Me: “From London to Mumbai?”

    Not Quite Seeing The Light

    | UK | Uncategorized

    Customer: “I can’t get on with these reading glasses. I can read fine with them here, but not at home.”

    Me: “Okay, have a look at the reading chart here.”

    Customer: “Well, I can read that here, but not at home when I read in the evening.”

    Me: “It’s quite bright here. What kind of lighting are you using at home?”

    Customer: “What difference would that make?”

    Me: “Well if you’re reading in poor light that can make it more difficult to see small print.”

    Customer: “Well, I just have a table lamp.”

    Me: “You might want to try a reading light. Better light does
    make it easier to see.”

    Customer: “I just want glasses that work! You don’t need light to see!”

    Identity Theft Is Childs Play

    | Iowa City, IA, USA | Uncategorized

    (I am a customer in line. There is a woman with a 4 year old finishing up their purchase.)

    Me: “Here’s your change.”

    4-Year-Old: “Mommy, can I do the scribbles?”

    Customer: “No, honey. I paid with cash, not my credit card.”

    Stealthy Healthy, Part 2

    | Andover, MN, USA | Uncategorized

    (Our fast food outlet just started selling oatmeal yesterday.)

    Me: “Welcome to our store, would you like to try out fruit oatmeal today?”

    Customer: “Wait, that actually sounds healthy. I’m confused.”

    Related:
    Stealthy Healthy

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