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    License To Breed

    | Wales, UK |

    (A blond teen of about 16 or 17 was trying to buy alcohol. She was pushing a stroller with a baby in it.)

    Customer: “I just want to buy it, OK?”

    Me: “May I please see some ID?”

    Customer: “I have a baby here!” *points at child*

    Me: “Um…that child is not your ID.”

    Customer: “But I can clearly buy alcohol if I have a baby!”

    Me: “Of course…”

    Customer: “So you’re going to let me buy it?”

    Me: “I said I’m going to need to see some ID.”

    Customer: “God, keep your god**** beer!” *rushes out of store with stroller*

    You Can Never Be Too Careful

    | Florida, USA | Top

    Young girl, maybe six: “Hi, I need a table for 4 please.”

    Me: “Sure, what’s your name?”

    Girl: *screaming* “STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!”

    (The mom, dad and little brother enter the restaurant while she’s screaming.)

    Mom: “What’s wrong? What happened?”

    Young girl: “The lady wanted to know my name!”

    Mom: “Honey, that’s so she can tell you when the table is ready.”

    Young girl: “Oh…”

    University Of Homer Simpson

    | Miami, FL, USA |

    (I’m 19 and a customer in his mid-twenties comes up to me with a 6-pack of beer and some beef jerky.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, since I’m underage I can’t sell you this beer. Would you mind waiting for my coworker?”

    Customer: “Oh, sure no problem. Can I ask you a question?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    Customer: “You’re of Indian descent, right?”

    Me: “That’s right, sir.”

    Customer: “But you were born here in America, right?”

    Me: “Uh, no actually. I was born in India, but I moved here pretty young.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me, you don’t have an accent! I’ve seen all the movies! Any Indian character who works at a gas station always has an accent!”

    Just Wait Until They Discover Palindromes

    | Australia |

    Me: “Okay, we now need to log into your modem. It should ask for login details.”

    Customer: “What are they?”

    Me: “Admin and admin are the username and password.”

    Customer: “Are the passwords in that order?”

    Me: “Umm. Sure, go for it.”

    Customer: “Ok, I’d hate to have gotten them mixed up!”

    Disease Or Not, You’re Still A Douche

    | Connecticut, USA | Top

    (A customer has just finished placing a rather large and pricey order of several large popcorns loaded with butter, large drinks, and random candies.)

    Me: “That’ll come to $55.75, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh… I have cancer.”

    Me: “Um… I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “So I don’t have to pay, right?”

    Me: “No, you still have to pay.”

    Customer: “Why? I’m a cancer patient!”

    Me: “You’re also trying to walk away with nearly $60 in concession items. I’m sorry, but I can’t give that to you because you have cancer.”

    Customer: “Oh, come on! What if I told you I had heart disease?”

    Me: “I guess I’d have to ask why you’re in such a rush to kill yourself?”

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