Walking Tall, Thinking Small

| South Portland, ME, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [hotel], how can I help you?”

Guest: “I’m wondering if you have any vacancies tonight?

Me: “Sure!”

(I tell her the availability and prices.)

Guest: “Well, I have a walk-in coupon for a lower price. Can I use that?”

Me: “Sure, but I wont be able to make a reservation for that price because it is for a walk-in only.”

Guest: “Okay, I’ll need to take your airport shuttle though. Can I still use the walk-in rate?”

Me: “I’m not sure I understand.”

Guest: “I’m taking a shuttle. I wont be walking in!”

Related:
Walking Tall, Thinking Small

Yukon Not Believe This Juan, Part 2

| Richmond, VA, USA | Canada, Military

(Canadian Army Reservists go to Fort Pickett in Virginia to train with the National Guard. I am in the last flight out of the U.S. and back to Nova Scotia. I am in my uniform, waiting for to be processed through security when a fellow traveler approaches me.)

Traveler: “Thank you so much for protecting us! We are so proud of the bravery of soldiers defending the United States!”

Me: “Thank you ma’am, but I’m not an American. I’m from the Canadian Army.”

(She looks confused, so I point to the small Canadian flag on my shoulder.)

Me: “You know, your friendly neighbours to the north?”

Traveler: “Oh! Mexico!”

Related:
Yukon Not Believe This Juan

One Sells Cats, The Other Sells Cat-Suits

| Fontana, CA, USA | Top

(I am the assistant manager at a store that specializes in adult videos and toys.)

Customer: “How did you end up here anyway?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “How did you end up working here?”

Me: “I applied?”

Customer: “No, I mean, what’s an innocent little girl like you doing working at a place like this?”

Me: “Well, you know how people who love animals work at pet stores?”

(The customer has a moment of realization and becomes clearly flustered.)

Customer: “Oh…well, excuse me.” *leaves hurriedly*

The Lesser Of Teen Evils

| North Carolina, USA | Top

(A man and his two sons are checking out through my register. The younger of the two sons grabs a bag of Skittles from the candy selection.)

Son: “Dad, can I have some Skittles?”

Dad: “No. Teenage girls eat Skittles. And what are teenage girls?”

Both sons: *raising their little fists in the air* “EVIL!”

Phoney Request

| Calgary, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

(Our store phone rings. A customer answers it before I can get to it.)

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “I’m sorry, that is the store phone. Please hand it over to me.”

Customer: “Go away! I’m trying to have a conversation here!”

(I step forward to take the phone away. I hear talking from the other end of the phone.)

Caller: “Why, hello there! Can I order some tampons, some birth control pills, and a thong?”

(Both the customer and caller are male. The customer gets embarrassed and thrusts the phone into my hands.)

Me: “Sorry about that, sir. What would you like?”

Caller: “Oh good, that idiot’s gone. Do you have any Metallica CDs in stock?”

Page 1,836/2,641First...1,8341,8351,8361,8371,838...Last