Some Customers Just Waltz In

| Gaithersburg, MD, USA | Uncategorized

(I am a customer in the video game section of a toy store. Another customer comes in and approaches an employee.)

Customer: “Do you have the dance dance game?”

Employee: “We might. For which system?”

Customer: “Dancing?”

Employee: “No. We need to know, because they only work on the system they were meant for.”

Customer: “It’s for the television.”

Employee: “Yes, but-”

Customer: “You put the thing on the floor and jump around like this!”

(The customer starts jumping around. It is actually a fairly good representation of playing ‘Dance Dance Revolution’.)

Now That Is A Wonder Bra

, | Brighton, UK | Uncategorized

(The ‘invisible bras’ we advertise talk about the see-through straps.)

Customer: “I thought this was an invisible bra, but I can see it!”

(She is pointing angrily at the black bra under her thin white top.)

Me: *playing along* “No, miss. The invisible bras were the ones next to those ones. I don’t know how you didn’t see them.”

Between The Teen Computer Screen

| Online | Uncategorized

Me: *via online chat* “It’s just the date of birth that doesn’t match on your account. But I have the correct account pulled up here.”

Customer: “Maybe if I tried to make the account when I was very young, I might have claimed to be eighteen at the time. But the month and day would still be the same!”

Me: “…I see.”

Customer: “Yes. I know it was very wrong of teenager-me to claim to be an adult. However, I can hardly ground her at this point.”

Found Next To The Irony Section

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I need to find [diet and exercise book].”

(I go and look up the book for her.)

Me: “Alright, it looks like it will be in our wellness section. Let’s head over there and grab it.”

Customer: “You go get it. I’m tired.”

Being Buried In Your Mortgage

| Beaverton, OR, USA | Uncategorized

(I specialize in modifying loans to make an existing payment more manageable. These are called ‘loan modifications’.)

Customer: “I’m calling for a ‘remortification’.”

Me: *joking* “Okay, so you were previously mortified?”

Customer: “Yes, once before. My payments are too high now. I need to be mortified again.”

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