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    Cross-Platform Chromosomes

    | Greensboro, NC, USA | Bigotry, Top

    (I work at a video game store, and I’m one of the few female employees.)

    Customer: *hands me a 360 box* “I need this game on the PS3.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this game is actually only made for the Xbox 360 and PC.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? I know I’ve seen it on the PS3!”

    Me: “No… the company that makes this game works exclusively for Microsoft. Sony doesn’t have the rights to sell this game on their consoles.”

    Customer: “Well, let me talk to one of the MALE employees. Maybe he can find this game on the PS3 for me.”

    (The customer walks over to my fellow employee.)

    Customer, to male employee: “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Can you show me where I can find the PS3 version?”

    Male employee: “Umm… she is correct. That game is made by a Microsoft owned company. It will probably never come out on the PS3 unless Microsoft decides to sell the rights to that game to Sony.”


    Male Employee: *points to me* “There she is.”

    Customer: “Ah!!!” *throws game on floor and storms out*

    So That’s What Those Other Buttons Are For

    | Costa Mesa, CA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling, how can I help?”

    Caller: “Is there a Kristie there?”

    Me: “We have a Kristie, but is she an older woman or younger woman?”

    Caller: “Older. She’s like a manager.”

    Me: “Oh… well, then you need to call the Newport Beach store. She’s at that one.”

    Caller: “Oh! Okay, what’s their number?”

    Me: *gives number*

    Caller: “Okay… now, can you transfer me?”

    Me: “Um… no, we don’t do that. We’re not a call center.”

    Caller: “Okay, so how do I call them?”

    Me: “… You dial the number I just gave you.”

    Caller: “But how do I do that?”

    Me: “You dial 1, then the numbers I gave you.”

    Caller: “Is that it?”

    Me: “Can I ask how you dialed this store?”

    Caller: “I dialed 411!”

    Me: “Have you been 411-ing your entire life with the phone?”

    Caller: “Of course. How else do you dial other people?!”

    Me: “Uhh… well, then you’re all set. Thanks and have a good day.”

    Customer Of The Week: Yoda

    | Quitting Time | Old Comics

    Customer Of The Week: Today
    Created by our friends at Quitting Time

    Sometimes, Even Yoda Isn’t Enough

    The Magical Mocha Phone

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA |

    (I used to repair phones for an office.)

    Customer:¬†”My phone is broken.”

    Me: “Can you please describe the problem?”

    Customer: “It’s broken.”

    Me: “In what way?”

    Customer: “It doesn’t work.”

    Me: “Do you have a dial tone? ¬†Can you not dial a specific number?”

    Customer: “Nothing happens. It’s broken.”

    Me: “Where is your desk?”

    Customer: “Second floor, cube ***.”

    (Upon arriving, I find the phone with no lights, no dial tone, no anything. On a hunch, I ask…)

    Me: “Did you spill coffee in it?”

    Customer: “No!”

    (I grab the phone, tilt it and coffee pours out.)

    Me: “Huh.” *glares at customer*

    Customer: “I DIDN’T spill coffee in it!”


    Family Values, Part 2

    | Guadalajara, Mexico |

    Me: “Welcome, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Why haven’t I received my movie?”

    Me: “Which one was it?”

    (He gives me the name of the movie, and I check on the computer to see if that title is available.)

    Me: “Sorry sir, we don’t have it on stock yet, but we will have your copy by Wednesday.”

    Customer: “But you have it already for rental!” *goes to the shelf and brings me one of the cases*

    Me: “Yes, but those are for rental only. We receive a few copies for rental only, and a few days after we get the ones for sale.”

    Customer: “Then give me this one.”

    Me: “That one is exclusively for rental.”

    Customer: “F*** it. I’m leaving!” *storms out of the store with the DVD*

    Me: “Hey!”

    (I call mall security. A few minutes later, a guard comes laughing to the store.)

    Guard: “Is this the stolen DVD?”

    Manager: “Yes, thank you.”

    Guard: “We found him trying to get in his car and two kids were inside. When we got him the kids started to cry, but not because we were taking his grandpa into custody.”

    Me: “Then why?”

    Guard: *laughs* “They were crying because they weren’t getting the movie today.”

    Family Values

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