A Stone’s Throw Away From Good Behavior

| Rochester, MI, USA | Top

(I am babysitting for a woman who refuses to leave the house. I am outside while her children are playing. She is watching us from the window.)

Me: “[Child’s name], don’t throw rocks. They’re painful.”

(When the child continues to throw the rocks at me, I take the rocks from him and put him in a time-out.)

Mother: *rushing out of the house* “Don’t punish my children! Who do you think you are?”

Me: “Ma’am, my employer requires me to give the children a time-out if they are doing anything dangerous.”

Mother: “Wait, what? I thought you were just here to play with my kids!”

Me: “Well, yes, babysitters usually do some sort of activity with the children.”

Mother: “Why would I hire a babysitter if I’m here?! Why did you come here?”

Me: “Ma’am, you called the company and asked them to send a babysitter to your house.”

Mother: “Don’t punish my children!”

(She chases me out of her yard with a duster. A few weeks later, she calls again for a babysitter. She was going to court because a neighbor’s child was hit in the head with a stone.)

Taking A Gamble

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “Recommend the movie I am thinking of!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “You heard me. Are you deaf? Recommend the movie that I am thinking of!”

(I reach over and put my hand on her head.)

Customer:CASINO!”

Train Trick-ets

| Paris, France | Uncategorized

(At the ticket booth in a Paris subway station.)

Customer: *in very bad French* “Je voudrais deux billets, s’il vous plaît.”(I would like two tickets, please.)

Me: *taking two tickets from a drawer* “Voilà!” (Here you go.)

Customer: “Voilà? I saw you take them out of the drawer!”

Banking Error

| Malaysia | Top

Me: “Here’s your new bank card. You will be able to change your PIN number at the ATM.”

Customer: “PIN number is a redundant phrase. It’s like ‘personal identification number’, number. You work in a bank. You ought to know that by now.”

Me: “You’re right, sir.”

Customer: *smirks* “I’m always right. So, where’s the ATM machine?”

Patronising Patron

| Scotland, UK | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi there. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “A black coffee and a bacon roll, please.”

Me: *repeating order as I write it* “Black coffee and a bacon roll. Okay!”

Customer: “Oh, well done.”

(I begin to write crispy under ‘bacon roll’ on the ticket.)

Customer: “Oh! I mean the bacon roll well done, not you!” *nervous laughter*

Me: “Of course! Extra crispy bacon.”

Customer: “Not that you aren’t doing a good job, of course! I just meant… you know. Thank you, and well done!”

Page 1,835/2,701First...1,8331,8341,8351,8361,837...Last